I have to say I can't imagine being lonely, I am so sorry you guys! I could NOT imagine losing a husband, that thought crosses my mind every day and I just can't imagine your emptiness.
I did live in a neighborhood where everyone knew each other and hung out together and yes it was great, but we have moved to another part of town where it's a little quieter and we don't get neighbors looking in the windows
You have to get out, call someone over for coffee, make the effort to connect. Most times people just don't take the time to hang out with others unless they are conveniently next door, kwim?
OP, all you have to do to get "in" is click with one of them, then slowly you'll get to know everyone else and you'll be "in" in no time. Then they'll see what a great person and friend you are.