It sounds like you've already gotten a lot of great advice, but I do want to echo what many others have said. Just because he doesn't want to go to counseling doesn't mean you can't go on your own to help you through all of this. I went through a similar situation 5 years ago. My husband and I had been married for 9 years. I had an 18 mo. old, a 3 year old and a 6 year old. I was a SAHM, and I had no income of my own. We had just purchased a new house in a new town 900 miles away from my family when my husband told me that he didn't want to be a husband or father any more. (With him, it was an affair, although I NEVER would have expected it in a million years. ) I ended up going on government assistance. I lost my house, my car, and my self-esteem. It was 2 months before my 30th birthday, and I thought my life was over. I'm not telling you all of this to make you feel worse or doomed. My point is to say that I was at the absolute lowest point in my life, but it got better. We did end up getting divorced (he's now married to the woman he cheated with), but it wasn't the end of the world. I lost a lot of weight and began to develop some self-esteem again. With the help of counseling, I learned how to identify myself as someone other than a wife and mother. I went to college and finished last May. He was very uninteristed in our children for about 6 months, but he finally realized how much he does love his children, and now he's a great dad. We are now raising our children together but separately.

I can understand that you want to try to make your marriage work, and I completely respect that. I NEVER believed in divorce, and would have laughed at anyone who even suggested that I would end up divorced. So, I understand where you're coming from. But, you deserve more than a husband that tells you that he doesn't want to be your husband anymore, and fear and lack of money should not be the main things keeping you together.