I understand also. 4 years ago I was in a similar sinking ship. I posted a little about it here. I knew we were having problems, but he left and claimed he "never loved me", "didn't even like me as a person" and "couldn't remember what he ever saw in me". OUCH! He was terrible! I would love to say we have a happy ending, but it is a major struggle. A year after he came home, he began "exploring" online and it happened a year later also. No major upsets in about a year and half, but we are not fixed. Please know that even if you "work things out", sometimes things are hard to forget. I am like some other posters and plan for a future where I am a single mom. Good luck! Remember, the ones you love the most can hurt you the most.