I've been an observer through all of this. I was neither involved in the first incident nor in the melee that ensued last night but I feel a story I once heard could possibly help prevent future differences....
Here's the story...
A certain little boy had developed a bad temper, flaring up at quite small things.
After failing in all attempts to help him reign in this disturbing habit, his father one day gave him a bag of nails. "Listen, son," he said, "every time you lose your temper, go and hammer a nail in the fence. OK?"
The boy reluctantly agreed, and by the end of the day there were 37 nails in the fence. Over the next few weeks, this helped him control his anger, and the number of nails in the fence each day gradually dwindled. Finally the day came when not one nail had been hammered into the fence, and his father praised him, gave him a cuddle and suggested that he now pull one nail out for each day he was able to hold his temper in check. The days passed, and soon he was able to tell his dad that all the nails were gone.
Taking him by the hand, his father led him to the fence. "You have done well, my son, but… look at all the holes in the fence! It's never going to be the same, is it?"
"Well, no, I suppose it isn't," the boy replied.
"You see, son," his father went on, "when you say things in anger, they leave scars in the person you're angry with, just like the holes in the fence. You can put a knife in a person and then pull it out, and it won't matter how many times you say you are sorry, the wound is still there. And a wound caused by angry words is as bad a physical one. Be careful how many you inflict, Sorry sometimes won't be able to "undo" the hurt".
So in applying this to my personal life, although I get extremely angry at times, I try and think of the nail hole it's gonna leave and if it's worth "going there" over it.
Kumbaya
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