I cannot even begin to imagine what would go on in an 11 year olds mind to find out you are unwanted by the very person(s) who is suppose to love you the most in the world. Even if they are holy terrors that would be something extremely hard to overcome and learn to live with. With an infant you can always try to put a great spin on it. "Your mother loved you so much that she thought someone else could take much better care of you" etc. But at 11 or even 15, you cannot sugarcoat it. This is so very very sad.