DS got married last December. We helped along the way, paying for things as we saw fit. We paid for the rehersal dinner, and helped cater the wedding reception. I chipped in on the bridal gown because I knew DIL could use the help. DH and I gave them $2000 toward the honeymoon. They ended up going on a short close to home honeymoon (instead of Venice), so they used the money as they saw fit. We were able to help out, but it was really over and above. Traditionally, the grooms parents pay for the rehersal dinner, and give what they can as a gift.

ohhgodd, I think that paying for the rehersal dinner and giving them cash is more than enough. As far as not offering the money again, I think that's a really bad idea. Your DS and future DIL are acting unreasonable, but you don't want to cause any relationship problems either. I guess you need to talk it out with them and tell them that you are doing all you can with your offer. Asking you for $6000 is just plain crazy.