Am I the only one who really believes that the "traditional" costs to each family are somewhat obsolete?

Don't all of these financial expectations go back to the times when families were "marrying off" their daughter?

I don't say any of this to balk at tradition - I think tradition is wonderful. But it should NOT be the expectation.

OG, you were really being kind-hearted by putting such a large amount of money out in contribution for this wedding. Since the wedding itself sounds relatively modest in $$, that money gift would go a long way, if they let it.

But unlike you, I consider the entire $2000 a gift! Nothing should have been expected, and you were being sincerely generous.

I would probably feel the need to call and speak directly, or leave a message on my DS's phone machine (whatever you find most comfortable), and express your disappointment with the response they gave you when you made your kind offer. My gift would also probably be rescinded, and I WOULD tell them, so that they could either make ammends with you (which I think they need to), or make other plans.

Tradition or no tradition - they have shown themselves to be truly ungrateful here. I wouldn't be able to be so generous with my $$ to people who act as if they are 'entitled' this money.

BTW, DH and I did accept some financial help from both sides of our family, and we were truly grateful to them. But we also did things as inexpensively as we could - made our own cake, centerpieces, favors, my sisters did our bouquets, etc., saved up for our own modest honeymoon. We made the most of what we had, and were grateful that both families were willing and able to contribute at all. JMHO, of course...

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"The errors of faith are better than the best thoughts of unbelief." - Thomas Russell