Sounds like your son and his bride to be thinks the world resolves around them. Guess you need to show them that it doesn't.

Stop fixing enough food for the kids on Sunday since they never come. You and DH go off on your own on Sunday and stop waiting for kids who aren't going to come by.

Send out another email stating your intentions for Christmas. Say something like I know how busy everyone is, if we can get together that would be great.

Is there a reason your sons and future DIL don't want to come to your house and don't want to have anything to do with you?

With my MIL we hate to go visit because as soon as we walk in the door, all we hear is how terrible she feels, how awful the people are around her, just one complaint after another, she didn't have time to go to the store, making my DH fix stuff for her. Last time he was under her house in dirt for most of the time fixing a cable.

When my son and his wife come to visit, they know they can come and go as they please, they have a key to the house, I have food on the table or in the fridge when they're hungry. They can hang around or run around with their friends. My DIL's parents live in a huge house about 7 miles from us. They've never stayed with them because they hate the atmosphere and don't feel welcome. Plus my DIL and son call us at least five times a week and we email constantly. (They live out of town).

Perhaps it's time to have a family talk and air out these feelings and ask them what can be done to remedy this situation. This isn't going away, you know.