When I got married, I felt threatened by my MIL. She could cook, she was a world traveler, and she knew more about her son than I did. She had what I sometimes considered a condescending attitude. I knew he loved his mom, but I wasn't always 100% sure about his loving me. I was just very insecure and a little naive. Ok more than a little naive.

But 42 years later, I have one important thing to keep in mind. Your DIL may be the one to pick your nursing home. Be very nice to her, no matter what she does, because she will probably remember all the slights and very little of the good.