OK....If this is a regional expectation, then I guess it gets back to the fact that the kid(s) are grown up now and your opportunity to teach them what is expected of them is more or less over. Continuing to press may have an effect opposite to what you desire. I've found it is easier to reset my expectations and/or response to disappointment then it is to change the behavior of other adults. One I control, the other I really can't.

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips