I think you need to be remembered as the one who gave the best gift.

Seriously.

I understand your disappointment and why it seems like things aren't 'even'. And she may be bridezilla and only seeing things from her side... I want *this* and *this* and *this*... and the only things occurring to her are the things that are special to her. She's not thinking of him and what might be special to him and insisting that it be *their* wedding. Either she is perfectly comfortable with excluding you or she is so self-absorbed that she just hasn't thought of it... neither of which make her look all that mature.

However... it's her right, and if it means something to your brother he should say something. My guess is that it simply *doesn't* mean beans to him. More often than not grooms don't have a lot of opinions about weddings and they spend a lot of time saying, "Sure, hon, whatever, I really don't care..."

I don't think it will be well-received for you to say anything about it. I think you need to revamp your vision for your place that day and decide that the way you are going to make your mark is not by being *given* a place of honor, but by being the one that honors their commitment to each other by acting delighted and - like I said above - giving them a gift they don't expect and that is extremely memorable. Outshine everyone else in this department and you'll make a big dent in the chasm that seems to exist between you and the bride.

This isn't to say that you are at fault. It sounds like she has tunnel vision and can only see *her* stuff. But regardless of her flaws, if the thing you want the most is to have a long-term, solid relationship with your brother and the family he's about to acquire, you may just have to suck it up, be the bigger person, and surprise them all with your graciousness.