Thanks for your support..Just as added details..I do have a legal power of attorney for my mom...I told the sec of state taht when I went there and they told me what I needed to do as the title was in my dad's name..My brother who lives out of state, ironically a physician, has seen me and my parents maybe 15 times in 30 years..He has visited the other brother and just never told my parents he was around..He did not attend my dad's funeral and has called my mom 2 times in 3.5 months..I readily agree with the home being a target for vandalism. Another reson not to have an auto there.. We have alrady removed anything valuable from there tho we all know someone can just go in and wreck it..We visited it weekly or more to check on it, not my sibs..As far as stepping up to the plate-neither of my brother's ever have..My local brother's home is not "handicap" ready..It's a 2 story and my mom cannot maneuver steps, even if they are only 8 inches.. We have placed grab rails every, 8 foot rails in the hallway; our shower was made handicap accessible..she sleeps in our bedroom-we sleep wherever-floor, couch, basement- depending on who is "on call" for my mom's night time wake ups to the bathroom that she cannot do herself-our home is only a small 1100 sq foot ranch..
My brother thinks my mom should insure the car- 1000+ per year.
My mom is in the best environment she can be-physically and for the care she needs..My husband is an IMMENSE help- dresses her, helps her toilet, helps with showers; spends time with her,cooks, you name it..This would not occur at either brother's home..My out of state brother actually doesn't even live with his wife and family most of the time.. He works in another state and has for years..