Quote:
Originally Posted by marilynk  As someone who lived w/ an abuser, how long did it take you to get your **** together enough to leave him?
As someone who was in an unhealthy relationship, how many times did you say "just one more time, and then I'll leave"?
As someone who was in an unhealthy relationship, was there ever a time (or multiple times) that you felt some or all of HIS bad behaviour was your fault?
How many times and how often did you overlook his faults because you loved him?
How many times did you forgive him--because he promised to change?(and they do "change" for a little while...)
Now, multiply that by about 10 if you shared a child or children w/ this abusive man....
People don't always make logical decisions even in the best of situations. Then throw in emotions like love (and sometimes we can't help who we love--not even if they don't love us back, or treat us like crap...) or fear of dying? It just gets more complicated.
Something I've noticed, women who have gotten out of abusive relationships can be particularly brutal and mean to women who may currently be in abusive relationships. |
It's too hard to debate the fine points, every situation is different.
There can always be excuses for staying and returning. That can be done until the cows come home, so basically a woman can do that forever - and never be at fault? I can't fathom that at SOME point Farrah didn't know what a dirtbag this guy was. At that point if a person keeps going back, therein the fault lies. "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me".
I've known several women in bad - to - deplorable situations WITH children to get out. They stopped making excuses for being in the situations they were in. They decided to no longer be victims. I guess Farrah never did.
We'll have to agree to disagree. Farrah allowed Ryan to treat her the way he did, period. She would have to be seen as a poor, innocent little victim and I just don't buy into that.