Quote:
Originally Posted by marilynk  I swear that some men are so friggin' obstinate and hard-headed.
What is so hard to understand about "I don't love you, I'm sorry. I want a divorce."
Mind you, this is not a new revelation to the man. He's known this for a while. He refuses, just refuses, to admit that it's over. The marriage is irrepairably damaged/broken---due to his behaviour, lies and deceit, abuse and extracurricalar sexual activities outside the marriage. Now, don't get me wrong; the female half is not necessarily the easiest person to live with, but she has never left the house to go and exchange sexual favors with some man (yes, HE went to meet another man) that she "met" on Craigslist. And there is a suspicion that the exchange occurred in a parked vehicle, in broad daylight! I mean, really?
I'm just venting....I'm having a very bad summer and really hope that there are brighter and less stressful days ahead! |
I think the title of your thread applies to you more than him!
You
always ask "What is so hard to understand about "I don't love you, I'm sorry. I want a divorce." What's so hard for him to understand is that you really mean it. After all, if you did mean it, you'd leave. Count the years that you've been telling him this. How many times has he heard that now? A gazillion? And you're still there, aren't you? You just vent over and over and over again and the years go by and nothing ever changes. You're still unhappy - you're just older now. How many more years of your life will you waste? And for an unemployed wife abuser that picks up
men off of Craig's List? You keep saying that you don't want to hurt him. For the love of God, why would sacrifice your own happiness for somebody like that? How can you think that the emotional state of a down low, cheating abuser is more important than your own emotional state? He never even shows you the courtesy of discretion! But why should he? He knows he can get away with treating you like this.
I'm not trying to be mean. I'm actually trying to help you and saying I'm sorry again won't do that. Somebody needs to tell you that venting again and again won't change anything for you. It never has. You've posted dozens of times about your mentally ill, abusive husband and how terrible he is and you should know by now that he isn't going to magically become a different person. He is what he is. I don't know how you can still hope that there are brighter and less stressful days ahead but the only way your situation will change is if you change it.
This has been going on too long for you to be considered his victim anymore. You're holding on to him just as much as he's holding on to you. You must be getting something out of this hellish marriage even if it's just that you like playing the martyr but remember, martyrs are usually miserable. It comes with the territory.
If you ever want to be happy then you'll have to take your own advice - just let go.