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Old 08-20-2009, 07:02 PM
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marilynk marilynk is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2001
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I've done an enormous amount of soul searching in the last year. I want to think that I've done some emotional growing as well. I'm trying hard to be a good person, a good employee, a good mother....but it has been hard to finally reach this point.

15 years of marriage is hard to let go of. I wanted so badly to succeed where others have failed. I wanted so badly to think that I could change a person.

I have learned that 1) this (breakup) is not my fault. 2) I don't know everything and I most certainly can't change a person's moral compass or their personality with my love--I've tried. 3) being a victim is not fun and after a while wears away at your soul, when you start to become bitter and angry--you've stayed too long.

As I told the husband: As long as he doesn't expose our children to his abhorrent behaviours, and his behaviours do not spill over into his ability to be a father, then he will continue to be their Daddy--and I will foster a positive and healthy relationship between the kids and their Daddy. Frankly, I don't want to use the really horrible things against him--it will only make things more difficult for all involved.
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