Paula, I would agree...except that I'm not sure this is considered a 'reception', kwim? I wish we could see whatever wording the OP saw.

The OP started out by saying, "The bride had 2 showers, one given by each side of the family. So far, nothing shocking."

Where I'm from, THAT would be shocking. Families aren't supposed to give showers at all, according to Emily Post and Miss Manners. But it *would* be perfectly acceptable for a *church* to do so.

But... I know that in some places, it's not a cultural taboo for families to do that, so when the OP posted what she did, I figured she lived somewhere that didn't adhere to that traditional rule.

Whether the bride/groom are related to the minister is irrelevant to me. Churches often have things that they just *do*, and they do them regardless of need. I know our church is that way, and for good, well-thought-out-reasons. For instance, the first time a woman has a baby after becoming a member of our church, we give her a baby shower. That's not how I'd have chosen to do it, but it's what was decided long ago by some committee... so that's how it is.

If you have never had a baby, you get a shower for your first baby put on by the church, it's in the bulletin, the whole church is invited, etc. If you moved to town and already had two kids and baby #3 is on the way, our church will give you a shower.

We send flowers as a church to all moms when they have their babies, regardless of how many they have.

If someone has a normal delivery, we arrange for three nights worth of meals to be taken to their home on the evenings of their choice (since they may have help from a visiting grandma for a week or so after the birth)...and a c-section gets five nights worth, just because the recovery is often harder. We do that for every baby that is born.

We don't do it because of the financial needs of the parents - we do it to show our love and joy. We never wanted anyone to be seen as a charity case or to *feel* like a charity case, so we don't base any of our procedures on 'need'. Everybody gets the same thing, and it's always generous. If personal friends want to do more or to host an invitation-only shower, that is certainly encouraged.

Anyway... I don't think special exceptions, either way, should be made for the family members of the minister. If it is typical that they throw an all-church event for new couples, this couple shouldn't be denied that just because the minister is a family member and their family members already did things.

One thing that may have happened is that the church's shower coordinator contacted them and said, "We want to have a potluck reception for you when you get back from your honeymoon, and people from the church who weren't part of the family showers will be able to give you gifts,".... and the bride said, "Thanks so much for thinking of us, but really, we have all that we need and don't expect or need anything more,"... and the church lady said, "Well how about we just give you a grocery shower then? It's no big deal for people to bring a $.50 can of green beans, and that way the church will feel like *they* did right by you in giving you at least *some* party. We ALWAYS give group showers, and just because your families did things for you doesn't mean that the little elderly ladies of the church who weren't invited to those parties don't still want to do something. You know how those little old ladies get if they think the church hasn't properly acknowledged a new marriage with a shower of some sort."


One last thought...

It is also possible that whomever types up the church bulletin didn't word things quite right. That happens in ours all the time.