Well, it's been several weeks since Faith has been gone. After the first drop off, I came home and cleared the house of everything that reminded of her and just threw it in her room and had a huge fit.

We had a visit weekend before last and bio didn't tell her we were coming so she was literally shell shocked. It was horrible. After about 36 hours she finally started to come out of it. I talked to her all weekend about going back and once she asked me if she could come home again. I said yes. And she said "again and again and again???"

When we dropped her off she had started trembling then screaming and had a look of horror, literally, in her eyes as bio jerked her from me and then slammed the door in my face.

This time I come home, her things don't bother me because I am so sickened about how she is dealing.

When I call, which is not everyday because I can't handle it, she just cries or asks "what are you doing mama?" WHere are you?" It is by far the most painful experiences I have ever had and I spend hours recovering. I shake most of the time anyway, but after the calls, it's uncontrollable.

There has GOT to be something I can do for HER!!!!!

The courts have asked me to stop being her mother.............I can't.

There has got to be help....somewhere.

Imagine someone taking your3 yo, someone they are familiar with and pounding into their head "I'm your mommy" day after day. It's sick and wrong.

Thanks for listening...........

__________________
Melissa