Well you are a good Mom and you just keep taking care of your family I believe things will work out for all of us the way they are intended to.
Sometimes with services they do everything they can to dissuade you from continuing the process hoping you'll grow weary and give up.
I was an in home caregiver in my state for many years as well as working in the classrooms as a TA for the special needs children. I also worked at the ARC for several years providing recreational and educational services to people with disabilities. Have you checked with them?
The Arc of the United States
Here is the locator
The Arc of the United States
Funds are tight right now as it's a donation based organization (as well as at least in OR using Bingo to make money) but they have provided services for years.
Also in our community we have an organization called Direction Services it provides assistance and advocacy for people with disabilities. If you call them maybe they know of a similar program in your area.
Good luck!
Direction Service: Staff