Originally Posted by wowitsdark

Marilyn, I know this isn't at all what you asked about, but I thought I'd throw it into the mix, anyway...

I know you're enjoying the dating scene again, and I certainly think you are entitled to do that... but I'd be slow to let your kids get emotionally invested in any of the guys you date. It sounds like the ex is a mess, and his girlfriend is a mess, and even if you're not sensing it in a big way, I would have to think that at their tender ages, they are 'processing' what 'stability' looks like and what it doesn't.

In a few short months, they've gone from having a dad around full time (not the best one, but a 'present' one) to not having him around the house at all to seeing him with another woman who is *not* their mother. I realize he's been a stray prior to this, but I assume it's a new thing for them to 'see' him with someone else.

Even if they seem cool with it all, they're still learning. Their brains are not fully developed and they are still developing a sense of right and wrong, and you're laying a foundation for what they perceive to be 'home base' in terms of relationship stability.

You're obviously the stable one who is there for them... so I don't know that it's best for their developing mindsets to also perceive you as going from guy to guy, kwim? If they like one, don't like the next one, feel like they should like one because you like him and they feel defensive of you because of your ex's behavior... and yet they really *aren't* as crazy about the guy as you are, etc... It just may put them in the middle of your relationships and feelings in a way that isn't the most healthy for them.

They grow up so, so, so fast, and it just seems like there'd be wisdom in giving them ample time to adjust to this new normal before throwing men you date into their world. KWIM?