Meeting John

This story has happened over a couple week period but I just had to share.....
My mother in law called she sound sad and depressed. I thought she must be upset because she had to retire from a job that she loved ...so I passed it off as she will be ok. So a few days later she still sounded sad. I finally said "Libby" you are going to have to get over your retirement. This is the time of your life. Enjoy. She said "Carrie, I have been going over my life. Doing a soul searching thing." I thought OK and she told me how she has had a good life and everything in her life has brought her so much joy. Except for the fact that she had been married to her ex-husband (which is my husbands father). I said Oh "Libby" he is a good man you and he just weren't right for each other. She then told me if you only knew what kind of hell that man put me through.

So over the next couple of weeks I would go to my mother in laws house and try to cheer her up. I felt like I was living the Tuesdays with Morrie. She would tell me all her life lessons and what she had learned over the course of her life. I did truly enjoy this time with her. But then on a Monday she told me a huge secret. This secret explained everything about my mother in law. The sadness that she carried with her everyday came pouring out all on this Monday.
She said Carrie I have a secret that I have kept from my children. I said don't we all. She said no this is serious..I told her to tell me I love secrets. This was a secret that shocked our entire family. She told me when she and my father in law first got married she became pregnant very quickly. I thought that was normal and didn't think much of it. She said she was so excited for this baby to arrive and thought that this is what they needed to bond them..a baby between them.

She was in her 7th month of pregnancy when it happened. She received a phone call from someone that she thought was one of her very best friends. The friend called and said "Libby, I have to tell you something."
Libby "OK what"
Caller" I have been having an affair with your husband and he is leaving you."
My mother in law was devastated. Just beside herself. This was the most traumatic even that had ever occurred in her entire life. She was 19 pregnant and found out that her husband ...the man she loved more than anything in the world was cheating on her. She went into labor in the next few days. Back then it was very hard to save a preemie baby and the baby died that night. We never knew this baby ever existed. Not my husband not his brothers. They never talked about the baby. I asked my mother law what did you name him. She told me the entire heart breaking story. How back then they would not let her see the baby but she named him John. She said she wanted more than anything in the world to have seen her baby. My father in law and my mother in laws mother were able to see the baby and they both told Libby how beautiful John was.

My father in law called a funeral home and made plans to have the baby buried. My father in law and Libby's mother never told her where they buried the baby. She never had a place to go and grieve for the loss of of John.
So we talked about things for a few days. I was totally overwhelmed with what can I do for this woman? How can I make her sadness go away? I didn't know. So I asked her what should we do about this how can you heal from all this. It has been 47 years since she lost this baby and all of those years all she wanted to know was where did they bury her baby. So after talking to my mother in law and husband I decided I would ask my father in law where he had the baby buried.
He told me how crazy this is it's been 40 some years and she needs to get over it. Yes, she does need to get over but the only way she can do that is to know where her baby is resting in peace. He finally told me where the cemetery was.
So like a goof I thought well I will go find the marker. I searched and searched for a few days out of the week and finally I called my father in law. I told him I couldn't find it. He said well of course not. They do not mark dead babies. So it's not marked I asked and he said that's what I said.
So after finding that out I called the cemetery and I asked where this baby would be buried. I know the man on the other line was thinking this is a 47 year old thing. Why are you calling me now? After a few days of waiting for the man to call me back he was able to tell me where this baby was.

So on a Saturday I collected all of my mother in laws children and we all were to meet at the cemetery. They had all found out about the brother they never knew they had and they were all very hurt by the fact that they were never told. I called my mother in laws cousin (he is a priest). He also was to meet us there. We then had a service for the baby that my mother in law was never able to see and wanted so badly.

Over the next couple of days I did see my mother in law cheer up a little. She said she now has a place (the cemetery) to put all of her sad feelings over this little baby that she lost.
I never knew that you could carry such sadness for such a long time and never speak about it to anyone. She had been sad and upset about this for 47 years. Even though she was never able to see the baby she now had a place of where the baby was. She of course stayed with my father in law for another 15 years and he continued to cheat on her. She finally left him and is married to another man. I just would have never guessed that she could still feel so much pain from something that happened to her so many years before. Yet I did understand in a way.