Neighborhood watch

We never really needed a watch here where I live. We had GrannieVanhoey. She was the little lady who lived across the road from us whowatched over us like we were her only given child. I worked secondshift for a long time and was home alone during the day. She would callme every time that the vaccum cleaner man came or someone was comingaround selling something. She would call me as soon as they left herhouse cause she knew they were coming here. Usually she was right. Italked with her on the phone daily.She knew my father in law lived inthe mts and had cancer and booboo was going to spend the weekend withhis dad alot. She also knew that on the weekends that I had to work,our daughter, who was around 2 at this time, would spend the weekendwith my mom. So I was home alone and she worried about me coming homeat 1 am alone.
Onevery very hot summers nite, I came home around 1 am. Joanna was at momsand booboo was at his dads. I was all alone. I got home and there hadbeen a thunderstorm and the power was out. I came into a very darkhouse that was hotter than 7 ^%$#'s. Joanna had a kiddie pool in ourcar port and it was sooo nice and cool I decided to get naked and crawlin the kiddie pool. We have 5 acres of front yard so I knew no onecould see me from the road. So... Off went the cloths and I went righton out to the carport and crawled into the nice cool kiddie pool. Iguess I laid there probably 10-15 minutes when the power came back on.There is a flood nite lite behind our house that came on. I still wasntworried cause like I said. we have 5 acres of yard. No one could seeme. WRONG!!!!!!!!!!! Sometime right after the power came on, granniehad to pee so she got outa bed and went to pee. On the way back to bed,she looked out her window to see if I was home from work yet and sawsomeone moving around in the carport. ( wonder who that someone was???hint hint: a short fat NAKED woman getting into a kiddie pool) Sooo.being the good watcher she was, She called 911 and reported thatsomeone was messing around n our carport. Meanwhile, I am happilylaying my fat naked self in the nice cool kiddie pool. it wasnt longtill I noticed car lights coming down our drive. I thought that booboohad decided to come home instead of staying the nite with his dad.WRONG AGAIN! Up drives a COP!!!!I am now trying to hide myself in a 2ft deep kiddie pool cause remember, I am NAKED!!! As the cop pulls downour drive, this headlights are shinning on someone trying to hide in akiddie pool. He gets outa his car and starts toward me. Then he gigglesa little bit as He seems me trying to cover what I could in the poolwith my arms. ( This was one time i was very very glad to be flatchested!) Anyways, here he comes, walking and sniggleing up to the sideof the pool and guess what he said!!' EVENING LADY. DO YOU HAVE ANYI.D???? Yea right, just were am I gonna have it at??? sure wasnt in mycleavage cause I dont have any of that either! I told him I own thishouse and he was still giggling a little bit , really trying hard tonot bust out laughing. I told him I had a towel in side the door and heso kindly offered to go get it. I informed him that the little dog whowas sitting at the door rasing *&^% wasnt gonna agree to that. Ikindly asked him to get in his car and back back outa the drive and Iwould go get the drivers licenses he so wanted to see. He agreed andstarted back and got in his car. I heard him bust out laughing as heshut the door. He backed outa the drive and I made the mad naked dashto the door and ran inside and grabbed my robe. As I was coming back upthe hall, the phone was ringing and the machine picked up. I heardsweet little grannie telling me that she had seen someone in thecarport and had called the cops. I went back out with my driverslicenses and by this time, there was tears rolling down the cops cheeksand he was on his radio probably telling God and everyone else that hejust caught a fat naked woman laying in her own kiddie pool at 1:30 am.He kindly walked back down to the door to see my licenses, wiping hiseyes all the way. He told me thank you and to have a good evening andgot back in the car. I watched him laughing out the drive. At least Igave a probably very bored cop a wonderful laugh.
Grannie is gonenow and I sure miss her early warnings about door to door sellsmen. Ihave never even stuck my little toe outa the house naked since.