I enjoy moonlit walks on the beach and dancing in the rain

I spent the first three months of my son's life convinced he was afflicted with a rare African monkey disease. He would cry for hours on end. Not just an 'Aww, the baby is crying' cry. The 'Someone must be assaulting that child with hot pokers' cry. I spent many sleepless nights surfing the net for 'Diseases that cause babies to cry.' I never found one.

It never occured to me that the diaper rash we had been fighting since his first night home would be the cause of his utter disappointment with the world I brought him to.

"Some babies have sensitive skin." His pediatrican explained. Sensitive I understand, but so sensitive that even being in the same room with a commercial baby wipe makes him break out like a pre-pubescent teenager?

So began my in-home testing laboratory. Armed with every brand of baby wipe on the market, I put the naked baby on the couch, and began swiping his butt. With every move I made, the screams got louder and louder. My husband walked in the door, took one look at my experiment, snatched the baby up and demanded answers. When I explained the reasoning behind this, my husband inquired if I planned to spray hairspray in the baby's eyes next.

"Why not just use soap and water?!" He asked. See! that's why they pay him the big bucks. With that advice, I set out to make my own baby wipes. Considering that my degree is in the legal field, and not molecular biology, I think I did pretty well.

While talking to my Mom the next morning, I told her of my awesome discovery. She offered me up a real gem. She advised me that after his bath, we should blow dry his bottom with the hairdryer set to cool. She assured me that this would not only heal his current rash, but would keep future rashes at bay. Mother knows best.

What followed were days of sheer bliss. My demon child turned into a sweet, happy baby. The homemade baby wipes were not only serving their intended duty, (pun intended) but my son actually seemed to enjoy his blowdrying sessions. He smiled and cooed, and basked in the glory of his rash free bottom.

It was a Sunday night a few weeks later when my husband came into the living room. He had just put the baby to sleep, and had a very concerned look on his face. I asked him what was wrong."Anthony laughed for the first time." He told me. Why would that make him SAD? I wondered. "Because it happened while I was blow drying his butt." Ok..So? He enjoys a little cool air on his booty. "Because as he was laughing, and enjoying his treatment, it occured to me that twenty years from now, he is going to place a personal ad that says 'Single white male looking for chunky balding Italian man to blow dry my tushie.' "

Supplies:

Plastic storage container like this.

1 roll of paper towels- I use Viva.

1 small bottle of baby wash- I use J&J no more tears.

1 small bottle of baby oil.

Directions:

• Cut the roll of paper towels in 1/2, ( to make two short rolls) remove the center cardboard tube.
• Place one half of the roll into the container.
• Add 1/4 cup of baby wash
• Add 1/8 cup of baby oil
• Add 2 cups of warm water
• Close lid and turn container upside down to wet towels.
• Wipes can easily be removed from the center.

If they happen to dry out, add a little warm water.

Until we meet again,

Cici

Cici@mycoupons.com