But I already bought a yacht!

The tale of my life is as old as time. I have always been on the short end of the stick, was always picked last for team sports and always hear the proverbial other shoe drop with clarity.

So, imagine my sheer and utter delight when I opened my email last week to find that * I * had an uncle I never even KNEW existed. Furthermore, and to his credit, He DIED. And DIED RICH!

The email, written in broken English explained that my Uncle had no other living relatives, died alone and wealthy and his last wish was that I claim his inheritance! EUREKA!! "Honey, put the house on the market- we are moving to the Caribbean!"

My husband, always quick to judge-pointed out that the proper spelling of money is NOT ' Monee' Details, Shmeetails.

All that was required of me to claim my windfall was to send my social security number, a copy of my drivers license and my signature. I would receive my check in 7-10 business days. I wondered if I could speed up the turn around time by letting them hold my first born as collateral.

My husband (the party pooper) nixed my idea- just as I was getting ready to poke holes in the shipping box which contained my daughter Lauren.

In reality, I knew it was too good to be true- as are most things in life. But, it sure would have been nice.

Internet scams and the people who "fall"for them are BIG business. Most of us have just enough common sense to spot these scammers a mile away. Some of us, though not lacking common sense, are a bit more trusting.

I have a friend who fell victim to a nigerian romance scam. She spent two months of her life corresponding with a "man" in England- who suddenly had to travel to Nigeria on business. He got paid in a check and couldn't cash it in Nigeria. He sent her the check, she deposited it into her bank. She then sent him a Western Union for the check and all was well. Until 10 days later when her bank contacted her. The check was fake.

DUH! She owed the bank five stacks of high society. And what of her 'Internet love?' Gone. Vanished. See Ya.

Of course, had she told me about this BEFORE it happened, I would have told her the brutal truth. I could have saved her heartache, tears, police questioning and money. I would have taught her the lesson at the bargain basement price of $2,000! That's me- always helping others.

My point is: If it's too good to be true, it probably is. Here are some tips to help YOU avoid being scammed out of your hard earned money:

1. You should NEVER have to spend money to get money. PERIOD. No, not even a little bit.

2. A "true" bank, clearing house or attorney will not email you, and if they do- you can be assured they have spell check- and know how to use it.

3. NEVER EVER give your personal information out- this includes your social security number, drivers license number, bank account numbers and passwords.

4. Just remember the old adage; A fool and his money are soon parted.

If it should happen to be true, and you do indeed have a dead rich uncle who left you his inheritance, congratulations! And make sure you remember good old cousin Cici.

Until we meet again,

Cici