Come fly with me
Posted 03-30-2007 at 07:30 AM by mycoupons
A world class jet-setter, I am not. I fly, on average three times a year. I never go to exotic destinations like London or Cape Town.
Nope. I go to Philadelphia, Denver, and Las Vegas.
On planes, like all other aspects of my life, I always get the shaft. I inevitably sit next to the smelliest, gassiest, largest person on the plane.
So, when I read of Rachel Collier being kicked off of a Continental Airline flight for COUGHING, I was a bit ticked.
What I wouldn't give to sit next to someone that was coughing.
A cough, even a dry, hacking, put a pillow over her face cough has to be better than what I have experienced while suspended thirty-five thousand feet over our great country.
In 2000, my husband and I took a red-eye to Los Angeles. Of course, I was not seated next to my husband. I was 9 rows behind him. He fell asleep before take off.
I, on the other hand was seated next to Don Juan himself. He started with small talk, I explained I was on my honeymoon. He then told me his life story. By the time we were somewhere over Arizona, he had had too much drink and was crying like a baby. He then asked if I was a member of the 'club.' (The mile high one) When I told him no, he inquired if I wanted to become one.
Believe it or not, that was mild considering what I have experienced while in the friendly skies. I have been vomited on, cried upon, and once spent six grueling hours sitting at the gate in Philadelphia while the plane was de-iced. They wouldn't let us get off the plane, heck, they wouldn't even let us stand up.
That is truly the closest I have ever come to going completely and totally ****zo. And to add insult to injury, I was sitting next to a woman who was experiencing minor gastrointestinal distress. She made no excuses, or even attempts to mask her malady. She did, however, apologize.
At least I had that going for me.
But of all flying stories I have, by far the one that goes down in history is the time I was en route to Las Vegas. The weather was horrible, the turbulence was abundant, and I was sitting next to a man who was convinced we were going down.
To ease his fear, he drank himself into a comfortably numb state. I was relieved when he fell asleep, even though his head was on my shoulder. I was reading my book when he woke up, turned to me and said "Are we in Denver yet?"
Confused, I explained we were not going to Denver, we were going to Las Vegas.
He laughed at me and said "Funny."
It hit me that he was not only extremely drunk, but very confused.
He fell back asleep and when we touched down, I stood up to get my bag from the overhead bin. He was still fast asleep and snoring. As I exited the plane, I told the flight attendant that the guy in row 12, seat B was still sleeping.
She glanced back at him, then said "Oh, that's one of our Captain's. He just got off an international flight and we are giving him a ride back home."
Nice.
Needless to say, every single time I board a plane now, I look at the Captain.
If I ever see Captain Morgan sitting at the controls, I am going to stage the biggest coughing fit I can muster.
Until we meet again,
Cici
Cici@MyCoupons.com
Nope. I go to Philadelphia, Denver, and Las Vegas.
On planes, like all other aspects of my life, I always get the shaft. I inevitably sit next to the smelliest, gassiest, largest person on the plane.
So, when I read of Rachel Collier being kicked off of a Continental Airline flight for COUGHING, I was a bit ticked.
What I wouldn't give to sit next to someone that was coughing.
A cough, even a dry, hacking, put a pillow over her face cough has to be better than what I have experienced while suspended thirty-five thousand feet over our great country.
In 2000, my husband and I took a red-eye to Los Angeles. Of course, I was not seated next to my husband. I was 9 rows behind him. He fell asleep before take off.
I, on the other hand was seated next to Don Juan himself. He started with small talk, I explained I was on my honeymoon. He then told me his life story. By the time we were somewhere over Arizona, he had had too much drink and was crying like a baby. He then asked if I was a member of the 'club.' (The mile high one) When I told him no, he inquired if I wanted to become one.
Believe it or not, that was mild considering what I have experienced while in the friendly skies. I have been vomited on, cried upon, and once spent six grueling hours sitting at the gate in Philadelphia while the plane was de-iced. They wouldn't let us get off the plane, heck, they wouldn't even let us stand up.
That is truly the closest I have ever come to going completely and totally ****zo. And to add insult to injury, I was sitting next to a woman who was experiencing minor gastrointestinal distress. She made no excuses, or even attempts to mask her malady. She did, however, apologize.
At least I had that going for me.
But of all flying stories I have, by far the one that goes down in history is the time I was en route to Las Vegas. The weather was horrible, the turbulence was abundant, and I was sitting next to a man who was convinced we were going down.
To ease his fear, he drank himself into a comfortably numb state. I was relieved when he fell asleep, even though his head was on my shoulder. I was reading my book when he woke up, turned to me and said "Are we in Denver yet?"
Confused, I explained we were not going to Denver, we were going to Las Vegas.
He laughed at me and said "Funny."
It hit me that he was not only extremely drunk, but very confused.
He fell back asleep and when we touched down, I stood up to get my bag from the overhead bin. He was still fast asleep and snoring. As I exited the plane, I told the flight attendant that the guy in row 12, seat B was still sleeping.
She glanced back at him, then said "Oh, that's one of our Captain's. He just got off an international flight and we are giving him a ride back home."
Nice.
Needless to say, every single time I board a plane now, I look at the Captain.
If I ever see Captain Morgan sitting at the controls, I am going to stage the biggest coughing fit I can muster.
Until we meet again,
Cici
Cici@MyCoupons.com
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