7 Days To Go

Today I will share the memory of when my oldest daughter started school.
I had been a SAHM since my oldest was born. She had been with me, never going to preschool or Mother's Day Out or any other program, since day 1 of her life. In fact, she had spent very little time away from me. She had spent the night with my parents some but overall my daughter was by my side day in and day out.
So when the time came to send my precious girl to school, it was hard. Very hard. I shed many tears in the months and days leading up to this event. I wrote her a letter before she started school(a tradition that I've kept up for both girls writing them a letter before the start of a new school year. I save them and one day will print them out for them to read)explaining that I felt I had spent the first 5 years of her life protecting her, guarding her and now I felt like I was sending her to swim in a pool of sharks. It was a gut wrenching thing to send my girl into a school with complete strangers. And to simply be without her each day for several hours was tough. My oldest daughter has always been attached to me and I worried how that would be for her. We had preregistered her a few months before she would start school and that caused "the lump" in my throat but I managed to not cry. My daughter stood there looking like she would melt but she too managed to make it through preregistration. And then that August day arrived when my sweet girl would walk through those big doors into that great big, new world...school. She had her backpack(she chose Spiderman, LOL), lunch box and scared look with her that day. We walked her into the gym where all the kids assembled and waited for their teacher to walk them to their class. The principal saw the look on my daughter's face and came up, hugged her, introduced himself and told her how much fun she was going to have. I gently kissed her good bye, told her I'd be back to pick her up that afternoon and to have a good day. She looked like panic had set in but I made my way back into the hallway, not knowing exactly what else to do. Her dad and I waited in the hallway and finally her teacher walked them to class. She looked at me, a little scared, a little edgy but the look said "why are you doing this to me". Needless to say, I had a teary moment but managed to not let her see me. I knew that would set her off. I went home, thinking of her the entire day. My youngest daughter and I went to Walmart to get some celebratory items...cupcakes, ice cream and a balloon. On the way home, I had about 1 hour to get home, put up my ice cream and make it to school(dismissal was earlier than normal that day). I had a flat tire.....oh my goodness.....I panicked....I would be late and my daughter would think I wasn't coming back for her(she had specifically ask if I would ever leave her at school and not come back for her)....I started to flag cars down to see if someone, anyone would change my tire. I felt desperate and stupid. Some wonderful lady turned around, not knowing what I was flagging her for, came back to me to see if I was ok. I explained my situation and that I lived only a few miles up the road and the school was only a few more miles from my home, could she please just take me to get my daughter and drop us off at home. I trusted this lady, she had young kids in her car(I would never have thought I'd take a ride from a stranger but at times like these your instinct kicks in and you go with gut reactions)and I was right to do so. I was the last parent to arrive to pick up(but there was only 3 kids there that day as they stagger the kids out for the first 2 weeks)and my little girl was starting to worry. She looked at me like I was crazy, coming in a strange car with a strange lady but she was still relieved to see me. The lady took us home and I explained what happened to my daughter and then she began to explain her exciting day to me and then jump into the cupcakes and ice cream(which did NOT melt??). It was a stressful day but one we all lived through. My daughter didn't go back to school for a week(again, the staggered schedule for 2 weeks) and that 2nd day was hard also but we all made it through. Every year as school starts I get a little teary eyed. I see my daughter growing up and am simply amazed that time has gone by so fast. My sweet girl will be in 5th grade this year and this will be her last year in elementary school so I'm thinking the first day of school this year will be a little harder than normal for me. I almost tear up just looking at my mental picture of my oldest daughter on her first day of kindergarten and now the first day of 5th grade. Oh my, is she really almost 10 years old? I better run out now and stock up on the Kleenex, I think I'll need lots of them!
Miss T, sending you and your sister off to school each year is a little emotional for me. It means that an entire year has gone by and you've grown that much more. For whatever reason, it's the time of year that I actually stop to think about how much you've changed, how tall you've become, how your interests have changed and how I will miss your company during the day while you're at school. But we always survive the school year and happily wait for that last day. Yes this year, the last day will be really tough on me. It means the end of elementary school and the beginning of middle school....another milestone. But I will still be filled with pride and joy for you. I'm already dreading August!