You all know the saying: Who needs enemies when you have friends??
One of my very good friends runs a home daycare. I am at my friend's house on a weekly basis during the school year so I know the kids and they're comfortable with me. I've been my friends backup care for several years. I've had her call at 6:30 a.m. when she woke up sick. I step up and keep the kids for Mom's that don't have family to keep them for the day. During the summer I have kept kids when she went on family vacation. Usually during the summer there's not many kids to keep because up until this past school year most of her kids came from school teachers. However, that has changed and she has 7 kids this summer.
My friend asked me over a month ago if I wanted to keep any kids this week. I'll add here that I'm the planner and she's the fly by the seat of her pants sort of gal. I'd been trying all last week to find out how many kids I'd have this week. Sunday evening she finally answered the phone and explains that while she was out of town the previous weekend that her DH (who was at home all weekend) forgot to tell her that church camp was this past Saturday through today (Wednesday). Ok, so that's only 3 days to keep kids.
I was expecting 1 early child at around 6:40-50. I get up at 6:30, wash my face, brush my teeth and get dressed. I go out to get the newspaper and leave the front door open so I can see out. Still no child so I decide to pass the time and check my email. My friend had sent me an email at 2:20 this morning. In it she says that her DH reminded her about 9 last night that he'd told the daycare moms that they were going to be gone only Thursday & Friday. She also said that she tried calling her moms at 10:00 and no one would answer. Now the kicker: Last night I called my friend between 9:10-15 on her cell and landline to verify how many were coming as she still wasn't sure yesterday morning. She never answered either call.
I have to wonder what my friend was doing Monday when her DH told the moms that it would be only Thursday and Friday. I emailed her back before 7 this morning saying I would have appreciated if she'd called me last night so I wouldn't have gotten up early for nothing. No reply or even a phone call yet today to apologize. So far there's been no apology in the email either.
Sorry so long but I knew I'd feel better just sharing my frustrations.

That does sound frustrating. I hope she apologizes. If it is not something she normally does, I think I would let her know that next time to please give more advance notice, and then just let it go. We all get caught up in things at times and forget to do something. You sound like you are good dependable friend and hopefully she realizes that!

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While her behavior is not remotely ideal, I think people operate at the level you teach them to.

If a library book is due in three weeks but they don't charge you a fine until the 4th week, people will consider the end of Week 4 as the *real* expected date.

If you have a habit of saying to your friend, "Oh, that's okay," they will not worry too much about letting you know because they have never felt any sort of a penalty for doing otherwise.

I do agree with you - she was irresponsible. But this is something you know about her, so it shouldn't be a surprise.

I think you need to make sure that she fully understands how unhappy you are with her. If you don't, this will become chronic behavior.

Maybe there is something going on in the background of her life causing her to act out of the ordinary?