On the radio before they were talking about roadside memorials and people were calling in with their opinions on them. I was shocked to hear that most of the people said that they should not be allowed at all and that the family/friends who put them up are just being selfish. Now, I was able to agree with some of the people who said that they are sometimes huge and cause a distraction.
there was a young girl killed on the highway by me not too long ago and I will admit with everything her friends/family left at the site, it is very distrating and is in a very bad spot.
However, what some people may not know is not everyone has a cemetary to go to once their loved ones pass. I am one of those people. All my family has to go to is the spot where my brother was killed, We have a small cross that his friend made and a few things under it, BUT we got permission from the gas station owner to put it down.
So what are your thougts on the roadside memorials? Should they be allowed or do you think the family/friends of the deceased are being selfish?

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

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I personally don't care for them. My father passed away in our front yard from a heart attack while mowing the grass but we never once thought to put a memorial there. It seems to just be with car accidents and I wonder why that is. Unfortunately people pass away everyday from all kinds of things and you don't see memorials at the hospital, etc...so why on the roadside? You don't have to go the place where the person died to remember or honor them.

This is the first time I've heard it termed selfish. I think it's a nice tribute and believe most are meant not only to remember those who died, but also as kind of a wake up call that the area is dangerous, or for people to be more cautious.

Kind of along the same lines, what I don't care for is the stuff all across the car or truck windows honoring Dale Sr. and other "celebs". Come on, they didn't even know the person and I bet cared more for Dale Sr. ( yes, picking on him, he comes to mind) than they cared for their own mother.

And, since this is about dedd, it's now more important to go get tattoos than pay for the funeral, and then wear a tshirt with the sleeves cut off so everyone is sure to see it for males, or a tank top with umpteen bra straps showing for females.

I prefer the roadside memorials because they are heartfelt and more relevant than the latter two.

dl

edited to correct from Jr. to Sr.....thanks for letting me know

I can't imagine them as selfish. I don't like them so huge that they're a distraction, lest that one area become a memorial for many - but I don't see anything wrong with them.

I don't know the folks that died at those spots. I can't help but say a few words of prayer when I pass them.

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I think that they are a big distraction. Anything that would make a driver look away from the road is not a good thing. My son who was 17 years old at the time was driving on the freeway in stop and go traffic. There was a memorial on the side of the road with a cross and name on it. He glanced over to read the name thinking he would just take his eyes off the road for a second. At the same time the car in front of him put on his breaks. My son hit him and was very lucky that he was going around 10 mph at the time. We were lucky that nobody was hurt. If a family puts up something that is flat and cannot be seen from the road that would be fine, but not something that would distract other drivers.

My personal opinion is that it is horrendous to place a memorial at the death spot. I would prefer for myself and my loved ones to have a memorial at a spot where I (or the other person) had fun and happy memories. I don't want to remembered as a mashed up something on the highway I want to be remembered running and swimming and laughing and watching stars and playing in the ocean etc.

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Ah, but distractions come in so many more forms. Cell phones, radios, ipods, passengers, eating, billboards, road signs, bumper stickers, people walking, people riding, yard sale signs, balloons on a mailbox for a birthday, the hot girl or guy in the next car over........

dl

I think people should be left alone to put them up provided they aren't too large. When I go past one it reminds me to be careful while driving. I feel the victims families should be able to express their grief.

Laurie

LOL!! When I first started reading your post, the first thought in my mind, thinking of a young man driving....the hot chick with the big boobs...

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I don't mind them. What I do mind is the fact people put them up and then lose interest or stop coming out there and they start to look run down. The crosses start to lean, all the bears and trinkets are strewn all over.

I think if people are going to put them up they should leave them up for awhile and then take them down after a period of time. I understand that some people need a place to go where they feel close to the person and some people believe that is where the soul left the body. But after awhile it should be moved to the cemetary or a persons home where it can be cared for. Maybe just leave a small trinket or plaque at the site that people can visit if they want too. But something that doesn't require someone to go out and maintain it.

As long as they post no hazard to drivers, such as putting them in a median, then I see no problem with them. If I had a loved one that was killed in an accident I'm sure I'd put one up.

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Mary

I wouldn't do it, but I don't have a problem with them. Like another poster said, it may be a wake up call for some folks. I think if you're distracted by something like that, to the point where it's a hazard, you probably shouldn't be driving.

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- Stephen Colbert.

About 4 years ago and man skidded into a curve while driving on a foggy mountain road...he died at the scene. The family has since then put up, I kid you not, a freaking park like scene on a small knoll beside the area of road he was killed. There is a park bench, decorations for the season ( I am sure they will put a scarecrow, pumpkins, etc up soon )..night lights , shepherd's hook with wind chimes, etc. I find it distracting..I have never seen anyone sitting on the bench..but once I did see a car beside the road, maybe they were visiting ..

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I still think nothing extra should be on a freeway to distract drivers. When you are driving 65+ you should be looking ahead. A lot of our freeways don't even have billboard other than the ones with what street is coming up next. There are no people walking, yard signs, balloons etc... So when a memorial pops up it is very distracting. There is no stopping on a freeway so they don't show up very often. When they do they get taken down pretty fast. When they are on a surface street and people are going slower I don't think they are as bad. It depends where they are. I still think you can remember your loved one with a memorial/plaque that is flat on the ground. You know where it is but it doesn't effect other drivers.

Most of the roadside "memorials" I've seen are tacky at best and trashy looking at worst. I have no problem with something simple such as a cross or something similar but I always see piles of super cheap looking plastic flowers, stuffed animals, etc.

If I was the loved one being remembered by heaps of tacky looking "mementos" I'd be mad! I'd be coming back to haunt my loved ones forever, lol!

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While they can get tacky looking I do not think the family/friends are being selfish. I personally do not care for them - they are as much a distraction as talking on the cell phone.

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Laura
Please visit my blog
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Dont need them, they get run down and ends up being just more trash to clutter up the streets and roads. The road crews mowing have to either chop them up or spend extra time to go around them but still try to mow the area.

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They didnt bother me before but last year on xmas my brother was killed on the interstate the vechile rolled in river & it was a blazer a older one the top came off & they were thrown well people put up signs & pictures not me personally but at first I wanted to but it was like 30 below out & unless you stopped on this curve on the hwy and got out which I wasnt going to do you had to walk like 5 miles or more to get there so I didnt figured I wait til weather was nicer

Well point being some other peole put up things & people stopped like every hour to look & gawk right on the interstate at the curve!!! Got right out of the car & gawked!!!

I thought someone else would be killed for sure so it made me really scared so no the answer is I dont like them at all!!!! The car my brother was in either slipped or swirved to miss a car that was broke down it a freak accident I didnt want more people dead over it. I mean if they knew my brother they would know he wouldnt want anyone hurt or dead over looking at pictures or the sight where the car was

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mom of 3 greats girls

If you want to have a place to go, then go to your local park, arboretum, etc. and ask to plant a memorial tree. Then put a memorial bench near the tree and that gives you a place to go. Many people have nowhere to visit a lost family member. There are other solutions. If the loved one had a particular charity, passion or hobby, perhaps that could be turned into a memorial. Start a small scholarship in their name. You could erect something in your yard if all else fails.

But a roadside memorial should not be done. It's not only a distraction, but often the location is dangerous to begin with and just the fact of pulling off the road safely to erect and maintain the memorial is dangerous to whoever is doing that, and the other drivers who might be driving by at the time. And yes it is selfish. Do your mourning where it doesn't endanger others.

Just because there are other distractions is no reason to add to the list.

I have a 30 mile or so commute to work and there are no fewer than 18 of these roadside monuments along the way. (yeah, I counted on the way home this morning) And I have to say that I never really minded a small white cross as a rememberance of a spot where a fatal accident had occurred.
But it seems like with most things nowadays, it's over the top. It's almost like a competition to show who's loved one was more cherished or valued. And I have to go with annadrose on this one, most just look tacky.
I know here in Arizona there has been talk of limiting what can be placed as a memorial. I would like to see that happen. I mean really when is it no longer a memorial and just a pile of litter?
If this sounds harsh I don't mean it to but you asked.

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I agree. I pass one on the work every day that has an old, nasty brown Christmas wreath from 2007 (or maybe even 2006). Rather than memorializing the deceased, it disgraces them, IMO.

cj/

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

I just drove by one for someones CAT. Probably cause an accident having someone read the sign.....