Just thought I'd get opinions & advice.

Last June, I found out that my brother and his wife were wanting to give away their cat. After three months of trying to schedule times/dates to get him to me, I finally got him last Friday.

Well, my brother calls me today and said that he changed his mind -- he wants the cat back. However, my 10 year old and 14 year old daughters have gotten attached to him (even though it's only been two days). (Honestly, I've become attached to him as well.)

My brother is trying to tell me that he gave him to me on a "trail basis" based on how his kids handled it all. That is a lie. Fact is, the "trial basis" was on my end because I also have two dogs. I told them that if, for some reason, the cat could not handle being around my dogs that I would let them know right away... that I wouldn't just give him away without contacting them first. Then it was stated that if it didn't work out with us/our dogs, that our sister would take the cat instead.

So I told them that I wasn't willing to give him back and he and his wife FREAKED OUT and threatened to come and "beat up" my husband... and my sis-in-law called and left a VM saying that she was coming to pick up the cat tomorrow or Tuesday (even though I've already told them that I wasn't giving him back).

I'm not sure how to handle this situation. I would have never agreed to take the cat if it was a "trail basis" for THEM. That is ridiculous. Why would I agree to bring him into my home and allow my children to become attached to him, knowing that my brother could take him back whenever he wants?! Insane!

Anyway, what are your thoughts/opinions?

If it were me I would have just given him back the cat when he first asked for it. A 10 and 14 year old should be able to understand that they changed their minds. Since you all fell in love with tha cat I would then go to a shelter and pick up kitten/cat and give it a second chance for a good life. If your shelters are anything like ours they are turning away animals because they don't have room for any more.

Yep. I agree.

I would give the cat back. It's not like it has been months or years. He changed his mind almost immediately so I would give the cat back. If your kids are that attached you could always give a shelter cat a great home.

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What a lucky cat to have 2 families that want and love him. Give him back and get a shelter cat that has no one.

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Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

If I were sure the brother wouldn't change his mind again, I'd give him back and adopt a shelter cat too. Why did your brother want to give him away in the first place? Is that situation likely to recur?

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If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition, and then admit that we just don't want to do it.

- Stephen Colbert.

I agree -- go get another cat and give your brother back his cat.

I agree as well for there are so many many animals especially cats and kittens who need a loving home and wish there were more people who could adopt. This was you and your children can have your own pet to love . Peace. Catherine

i agree with the others and hope that your brother will not just rid of it again.

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Laura
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Another one here who'd like to know why the brother wanted to get rid of it in the first place and what could have possibly changed in 2 days that he wants it back again.

Poor cat.

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Give the cat back and adopt a shelter cat. There's plenty out there that need a good home.

A cat is no reason to cause family problems.

Gotta agree with everyone else. It's not a nice way for your brother to behave, but your kids might enjoy getting to pick their own cat anyway...

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Kim

I agree with the others. Give the cat back & adopt another. If your bother decides after he takes it back that he doesn't want it again, take that cat also, but put in writing that he doesn't get it back again & have the wife & him sign it. Then enjoy having 2 cats & 2 dogs.
You can the join me with having a "farm". lol
Judy

I was out with my mom all day today, so I'm just now getting back to this thread.

Thank you for your advice. I'm taking it into consideration.

To answer some questions about why they gave me the cat in the fist place; my brother & sis-in-law don't like the cat. They've kept him (as well as another cat) shut up in their bathroom for several months. Also, my sis-in-law told me that whenever she lets him out, her allergies act up & her son starts coughing.

The reason they want him back now is two-fold; 1) their daughter (age 4) noticed the cat was gone & cried. 2) My sis-in-law is the type to fight to the death when she wants something, so this is now a mission for her.

It's quite possible that they will give the cat away again in a few months -- but it won't be to me, as I am now the enemy for having said "no" at first. (Actually, as it stands, I have not told them otherwise.) They have had several (nine, I think - usually one at a time) dogs over the past three years and have given all but one away. The one they have left, they're trying to get rid of as well.

Why the heck didn't you tell us all the 'background' before you asked what we thought you should do???

I don't know if I'd give the cat back now or not. If it's kept up in a bathroom all the time, it causes allergies to the sister in law and her child, plus they've had and given away 9 dogs over 3 years... well, that might change some of our opinions!!

I agree.

My opinion now is that I would not give the cat back so it can be mistreated

I agree also should not be given back sad story, please update if you can .Peace. Catherine

You have given it a good home, and there is no telling what will happen to the poor thing when they decide to get rid of it again. I would keep it, that way you know it will FINALLY have a good life.

I thought it said "pot" question.

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LOL .... what have you been doing tonight???

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Kim

I didn't give that background info because some people (IRL) were telling me that it didn't matter - that I should just give the cat back anyway, regardless; yet others were telling me that it did matter. So I initially tried to make myself believe that it didn't matter; therefore, I omitted that info.

My own mother wants me to give him back to my brother (to avoid family conflict). She agreed with what most said - that I should go and get another cat, from a shelter.

My husband is leaving it up to me and said that he supports whatever decision I make.

Two of my sisters (including the one who was supposed to have taken the cat if he wasn't able to get along with my two dogs) think that I should not give him back. But my other sister is like my mom, and avoids conflict at all costs. She said that she would give him back, but that she supports me and realizes that my keeping him would be the right thing to do.

My brother has four kids, ages 8 and under. His 4 year old daughter cried when she found out the cat was gone. That is why he called and told me to give them back the cat. They didn't let their kids know they were giving him away. My mom said that she (the 4 y.o. dd) just likes knowing that the cat is there [in the bathroom].

So, yes, there is background info and I feel that it's morally right that I keep the cat. I also know that I am not objective in this situation. My emotions are involved. I'm a huge cat person but haven't had one in years because one of my brothers-in-law & one of his children are very allergic. (But they just moved out of state permanently... first thing I told them when they moved was, "I'm gettin' a cat!" lol)

I wanted opinions and advice without emotions involved - so I came here. I tried to be as vague as possible. I questioned whether I had a valid right to judge how they treat their pets. I wondered if it was MY love for this cat (and cats in general), and my girls' love for this (and all) cats, that was causing me to want to keep him.

In other words, I was and am confused as to what I should do. I know what I want to do - but is that what I should do? Do I follow the advice of some, or others? I need to make a decision today. *sigh*

Thanks for "listening." I'll update when I decide.

I think you should keep the cat. I couldn't live with myself if I knew I was putting a pet into an abusive situation like that.

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If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition, and then admit that we just don't want to do it.

- Stephen Colbert.

With the new info you've provided, I couldn't in good conscience give the cat back.

I can't imagine keeping a cat in a bathroom, that's terrible.

I am currently cat sitting for a friend, they had an emergency and have to stay at a hotel until their house is ready. (about 2 weeks) I feel bad that I have to keep them in the garage, they absolutely do not get along with my cats or dog. Our garage is 960 sq. feet, clear of any hazards and the weather has been beautiful. They have kitty beds, cat box, food and water, plenty of room to run around and we go out and play with them several times a day. Still it's not ideal, I can't imagine keeping an animal locked away indefinitely. What's the point of having a pet if you're not going to make it part of your family?

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Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

I change my answer. Don't give the cat back.. He deserves a better life than being locked in a bathroom all the time. I
Judy

I wouldn't give the cat back and I would lay it out flat as to exactly WHY I wasn't giving the cat back.

Keeping a cat locked in a bathroom long term is unfair to the cat IMHO. Just how great of a life does the cat have being locked in a small room all the time with next to no human interaction?

Why do people bother to have pets if they aren't going to treat them right/interact with them?

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I spoke to my brother last night & let him know that we will be keeping the cat. He has disowned me & my children; and his wife said she's taking us to small claims court.

So far, that's where things stand.

Good for you! I bet the wife is bluffing. If it were me, I'd respond to the small claims court threat with a threat to report them to the SPCA for their keeping the other cat locked up. Actually, I'd probably report them for that anyway.

Besides, unless they can show that you stole the cat, on what grounds do they have a claim? They gave you the cat!

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If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition, and then admit that we just don't want to do it.

- Stephen Colbert.

Wow.... that's seriously ridiculous. I can't imagine a judge not being royally irritated at having to hear such a claim when they gave you the cat.... Not trying to be critical or rude, but I think your brother might have some issues. Good luck with all of this.

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Kim

Even before you gave us the additional info, I felt you should keep the cat. An owner who can discard an animal on a whim and then want it back on another whim has issues.

While I'm sure the 4 yo was upset, chances are she's moved on to other things as 4 year olds will do.

Good for you holding your ground. The SIL sounds like a piece of work not to mention an animal abuser.

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I think that there is something seriously wrong with your brother and his wife. Keep the cat. It's lucky to have escaped.

You should definitely keep the cat.

When Abel was born we put our two cats in the laundry room for a couple of nights until we were sure about how they responded to the baby. I felt AWFUL! I could hear them in there crying about not being free, and our laundry room is much bigger than most bathrooms. I cannot imagine having a cat stay in a bathroom 24/7. It would be miserable. I know our cats were.

Thank you for the advice and support. Yes, my brother and his wife have issues, sadly. Unfortunately, my niece and nephews get placed in the middle and have to suffer.

I also believe my niece has already moved on... unless her parents won't let her... which is very likely. In fact, it's probable.

Anyway, my new kitty is sitting on my feet (he loves me ). I think I'll go & pet him for a while.

Thanks for the "ear." Much appreciated!

Good for you. I would've kept the kitty. Why get an animal and keep it in a bathroom? I'm sure they wouldn't like to be kept in one room all day/night.

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~~just open your eyes and see that life if beautiful~~

I hope they never divorce. I bet they'll use the kids as pawns if they do.

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If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition, and then admit that we just don't want to do it.

- Stephen Colbert.