My daughter, in second grade, usually gets one warning a week. It is usually for talking. However, a couple of weeks ago, on 3 different days in one week in her advanced reading class, she got in trouble. Once was for setting her watch while the teacher was reading, the next she wrote in a journal while the teacher was reading, and the third time, she twirled her necklace around a pencil while the teacher was reading. I certainly do not condone her disrupting the class. On the third day, she was sent to the principal's office for "chronic lack of work". My child has not made less than a 97 all year. She does all her work, loves school, loves running. She just can't seem to keep her mouth shut at times or fidgets. Not good and I am working on that at home.
I called and spoke nicely with the principal and she told me that the teacher must be putting her in study hall to keep up her grades. I told her that was not so. She insisted that it was a chronic lack of work and she would have the teacher call me. The teacher called and first thing she said is that the principal told her to tell me that I was right and she was wrong about daughter's work. The punishment for the classroom disruption was talking to the principal, an hour and half in isolation (one hour that kept her from Guidance class, the other half hour was recess). Also, she is not allowed to go to the basketball game that is being held during school hours later this month that is offered to all students. I feel that the punishment is a bit steep for the crime.
What might they use for punishment if she did something that was not akin to normal childhood behavior?
Things are once again going smoothly at school. I do worry the damage that the "crime" being mislabeled could do. Chronic disruption to class I would have said nothing about.
The same teacher teaches my daughter's advanced math class and there is never a problem. I asked my daughter why this was. She said, "Mamma, I don't like to hear her read. She reads fluently but, but, ...well, let me show you how she reads." She read a paragraph as the teacher reads and then as she, herself, would read. She made the story come to life. The teacher read monotone.
I am working on the disruption problem as best I can at home. But, I am expected to punish my daughter at home for a disruption...such as not letting her go to Girl Scout meeting if she doesn't get a smiley on the calendar or take away a privilege. At first I done this and it seemed to actually make things worse. Our home was stressful and my daughter was oppressed with trying to make a perfect slate all week. I have stopped any punishment at home. I do discuss matters with her and let her know that it isn't acceptable. I feel the child is truly trying to get that smiley. I cheerlead her each morning and evening. She seems to be doing better. She was to the point that she did not want to go to school and wanted to move back to where we lived the first half of last year. She has a great love a learning, a brilliant mind. I do not want that destroyed.
I do not want to homeschool her as I feel the social aspect of school is important as well.
Am I over protective or does this seem a might much? Anyone else had this problem?

I can't believe that the school would punish your child for such minor infractions. I would have been THRILLED if those were the extent of the "problem behaviors" I saw in the classroom when I was teaching.

It seems to me that the school is creating a negative learning environment by making such a big issue of such minor behaviors. My classroom management was much different and focused on the POSITIVE behaviors going on in the classroom. For instance, if your daughter has a habit of twirling her necklace the teacher might:

1. make a concerted effort to praise her (smile at her, pat her back, thumbs up..... ) when she does sit quietly
2. praise other students who are sitting still
3. talk to her and ask her if/why she is feeling distracted and ask if she can help in some way
4. offer her suggestions to assist her with focusing

There are a hundred ways to handle unwanted behaviors in a positive manner.

Instant punishment is often the lazy way to handle the situation in my opinion and can often be counter productive. I'm not trying to say that undesirable behaviors in the classroom should not be addressed and corrected, but rather corrected in a positive manner.

JMHO

It seems a bit much to me. Especially the "punishment for the crime". I don't see how twirling your necklace on a pencil or writing in your journal is that disruptive. We have the opposite problem in our school systems. We've got kids up and walking around during class! Your daughter seems very bored. That's pretty obvious what's going on when the teacher is reading. Can you go to school and spend the day and watch the teacher? How was your daughter in first grade? Any problems? If you find a good homeschooling group you can get tons of socialization. When my son homeschooled for the last two years of high school he had about 10 times more fun with the homeschooling group then he did at the large public school he had attended. At public school he was bored, never went to any dances, etc... He did all the activities in the homeschool group including Prom both years and there's no way he would have gone to the public school one. It just depends on what suits your child. I'm glad you are being very proactive and looking out for your daughter.

Wow the punishment seems a bit severe.
I think any second grader would lose concentration while a teacher was reading, no matter how well they read. I really don't see how you can expect them to be able to concentrate the whole time.
And it doesn't sound at all like she was being disruptive. Sounds like she was just slightly distracted.

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Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking

The only problem DD has had with behavior in school is talking when she shouldn't at times. Personally, I see that is normal behavior for her age. That doesn't mean that I condone the behavior. I do believe she needs to control her talking and I do believe that she is and will continue to do better as she ages.
When I spoke with the teacher, I suggested that she dwell less on the negative, since it was normal childhood behavior anyway, and focus on the positive. At home, I mildly scold minor infractions and concentrate on her positive behavior. This works wonderfully well and makes for a pleasant home and a happy child.

Things seem to be on an even keel right now at school. If things get like they were, I will spend some time at school. If there is no other alternative, I will home school her. She is a joy to teach. However, she is very extroverted and loves being at school. There are just the two of us in the household and she needs the social environment. But, if it gets negative again, I will do what is best for her long term well being.

It is so easy to side with your child. I wanted to run this by you guys and see if I was being a softie or it really is as harsh as it seems.

Thanks for your feed back.

seems to me that the teacher is choosing the wrong battles to fight....how much disruption did the setting her watch and writing in a journal cause? Twirling the beads I can see causing more disruption than the other two. And that's a simple fix--you take the beads away until after school.

My "high-maintenance" child often talks when he's not suppose to and gives off a little more attitude than is acceptable (ok, some days it's a lot more attitude) but he's never been punished that severely and he's in 4th GRADE!

I think the punishment is too severe for the "crime". I certainly wouldn't punish her more at home.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

It may be a matter of not paying attention as much as anything. While the disruptions don't sound like a huge deal, when you are the teacher and reading orally, it's not just an exercise for her vocal cords - it's something the kids need to participate in with their ears, too.

Maybe I missed it, but have you talked to the teacher or just the principal?

I understand what you are saying...However, people absorb knowledge and learn differently. I can not absorb anything if I am "just" listening. I have to be doing something, even if it's reading ahead or writing/doodling. "just" listening is difficult for me to stay focused on what is being said. Perhaps the OPs child is like that.

*shrugs* I don't know. But it sounds like the OPs DD may have had an "off" week.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

I agree... and that's why I wondered if she had spoken to the teacher. She may find that the teacher than asked her questions about the story and the daughter didn't know what it was about, etc. Auditory learning is an important skill... and that may be what the teacher is trying to develop.

My nieces son is in a class that uses different colors. The worst being black signifying a really bad day. I think it's a terrible idea. This is first grade. You talk in class you get yellow, for example. Do it again..orange. I think it is a very negative way of dealing with infractions. She uses this both for the class and individuals. Can you imagine all those little 6 yos watching the wall as is changes color based on their behavior?? It just seems really stressful to me...not productive.

It sounds to me like you have a typical second grader and the punishments were a bit severe.

I was thinking the other day as I was speaking to a mom about parent teacher conferences...wouldn't it be great if we could do a conference like that, but it would be parents talking about the teacher...not our kids. I wonder if it would motivate teachers??? LOL

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Melissa

When my kids were in elementary, up to 2nd or 3rd grade they had to "flip a card". They're cards were in a pocket on green. A warning meant they had to put yellow in front. Getting in trouble was a red card. A lot of kids didn't think twice about flipping their card. Each of my kids had to switch to yellow once (talking) and were both mortified. Of course, those who acted up consistently had a different deal - they got positive rewards daily & weekly. It used to drive my kids crazy that the bad kids got treats and rewards for the behavior they exhibited all the time.

When they got older, they had to "sign in" with each infraction. It was a composition book they had to sign with their name and what they did. It was always negative based. What I hated the absolute worst was when they would punish the whole class for the actions of one or a few.

Lisa

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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"

While your daughter was able to focus with her tasks, probably the disruptive behavior came from her classmates who are not able to focus as well, and decided that her actions were more exciting than the teacher's actions, and paid their attention to your daughter, rather than the teacher. Even if she is only writing in her journal, as long as she is off task from what the other kids are expected to do-it is noticed, and there are certain kids who will be agitated by this. Her teacher should be better though, by encouraging her as a role model. I would keep up the encouragement at home, and I cannot believe she was banished from the game-that just isn't right. It sounds like you are handling things quite well around the homefront. Don't let them tell you that you need to cut off certain priveleges in the home aka Girl Scouts.!

This type of classroom management drives me crazy. Why in the world would a teacher want to make an example of a negative behavior?? Or even draw attention to a negative behavior?

When I was teaching, I wrote a student's name on the board....... IF THEY WERE DONG SOMETHING GOOD! That's what I wanted to make an example of and draw attention to.

I also had business cards made with about 10 positive phrases printed on them (great job, nice work, fantastic..... ) and passed them out to each student. As I walked around the room and "caught" a child doing something good, I would have them circle one of the phrases with a special green pen. When each word/phrase was circled, the student could bring the card home and show their parents how great they did.

What did you notice when you observed your daughter's class? Did it match up with what your daughter said? Sometimes the "truth" of the matter lies somewhere in between both parties' versions.