to your son-in-law (or daughter-in-law) for a Christmas gift as you give your own child? Do you tend to give your own grown up child more than their spouse?

My MIL gives each of her three grown kids and their spouses the same amount of money for Christmas.

My children are not married yet and my IL's have never sent us money, ever!

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My parents tend to give us girls a bit extra than our spouses! They get very nice gifts, but we do get a little something extra!

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My MIL has NEVER given us money. She sell's Avon and that is all we have ever gotten from her. Every Christmas and Birthday for us and the kids. Same for DH's brother and sister. Its become a joke with the kids. Will it be the same dog wallet or Harley Davidson sunglasses they got two years in a row. Their cousin gets the same. We don't know what the other sister and her family gets. We are never with them for gifts and their family is her favorite. My parents were very generous to us but I am an only child so it was easier for them.

Do you at least get to pick out the Avon stuff you want ? My IL's are notorious for giving outright painful gifts.

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I definitely think parents should give their "own" children the same amount as their "in-law" children.

After all, we're supposed to love our "in-law" children as much as our "own" children

My father and step-mom give us a joint gift and they also do the same for my brother and his wife. I am not sure what they are doing for my other sister in law this year.
As for my in-laws, they stopped Christmas and birthdays when their children turned 8 (they are truly dysfunctional people) it would be nice however, if they returned the jewlery and money they stole from us but that is like asking for a miracle.

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Well, I have always been guilty of giving my daughter more than the SIL. I used to feel guilty, but now I think that he should understand. I do give him decent gifts. He even admits that his gifts from us are better than he gets from his own parents. The one or two things she gets extra might either be for the house or a gc to an eating place, which they both get to use anyway. I try and do nice things for him throughout the year, so I have given up worrying about it.

My mil does not give us anything. My dad gives me $50 and my dh a bottle of wine. My dh does not care and I usually end up spending it on the kids. THis year the $50 will go towards two year books for my youngest children.

My parents have always spent the same on DH and I. His parents buy him a large gift and then usually a gc for me thats much less money wise. (which I'm fine with, since it's always someplace I like!)

If it were my DIL (since I have 2 sons), I would want it to be equal. But, then again, I grew up that way with my parents treating my DH that way.

My parents spend the same amount on BIL as they spend on my sister or myself. He also gets the exact same amount of $ on his birthday-$50.

They feel that he is their son now so he gets treated the same as their bio kids, and rightly so.

They also treat him exactly the same when it comes to asking him to help out with preparing for a holiday, etc. Things such as going to the garage to grab pop or run to the store to get ice, etc.

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I don't give money, but I give them equal gifts.

My mom gives DH and I a combo gift. One year she gave us this tiered santa full of gift cards and candy! Since then we have requested that of mom We have kept 3 of the santas so she has to go out and find them too! LOL she thinks it's funny that we always want the same thing! Anyways we share what's in there, but she does get gift cards just for him, but she knows we share them just the same.

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For Christmas my inlaws usually send my husband, my daughter and me each a gift card in the same amount.
They usually send my husband and daughter money for thier birthday but I do not receive anything for my birthday.

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I give my DIL the same amount as my son and his brother. I said I would never do what my MIL has done to me all these years. Every year my husband gets cash and a nice gift from his mother. I get a small amount of $ in comparison to what he gets (He'll get $1000 and I will get $100) in addition he'll get a really nice gift (or two) and I'll get a K-mart robe. I've just learned to accept it thru the years and I vowed I would never ever treat my DIL as a second-class family member like I've been treated.

P.S. What she doesn't know is.... my dear husband halfs the money with me after she leaves or we buy something together!!! LOL!!!

No but DH can never have too much cologne.

my parents give the same amount to me and my brothers and their families and the same to my husband and all the grandchildren all get the same. Also the same goes for my husbands family everyone is considered equal and all and everyone gets the same from my father in law, my mil passed away 10 years ago. I feel this is only fair and the correct way as my parents and in laws always feel they are both are children now.. Peace. Catherine

My parents (who are divorced) give all 4 of us kids and our familys a family giftcard or cash. My MIL actually gave hubby and I ONE(yes I said 1) coffee cup with out picture on it one year(and she isn't poor).

My mom usually gives us gifts that are pretty equal. Except one year, I had mentioned in passing a few years ago that I wanted to get an ipod but knew we didn't have the extra money. My dh called my mom and asked if instead of getting him a present would she go in on an ipod with him for me.

My mother in-law usually give me a little more than dh. Usually the extras are are household gifts that both of us could use.

My grandparents usually give a cash gift that's for the whole family.

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Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

I agree with this statement.

In my experience, not only have my in-laws not given the same to each, they have treated different "families" differently, as well. For instance, MIL would give DH and me a pop-corn bowl set. BIL and his family would all get new outfits, appliances, etc. Now, granted, BIL and his family NEEDED these things, but, it still was blatant the disparity in gifts.

Over the years, I have gotten to the point where I don't care what gift anyone gives me, to me it is the KNOWING how they feel about me that is most meaningful. I could get a brand new car from MIL and a used paper bag from my BFF, and I would cherish that paper bag SO MUCH more, knowing that my BFF sincerely cares about me.

Sorry, a bit off topic there

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

My parents have always given us gifts that are pretty much equal. I might get an extra like one day out and about mom will pay for my lunch or get my nails done. When we get cash, DH and I get the same amount as my brother. My in-laws at times have given us money. They write a check made out to both of us. If it's cash, it's equal.

I think that if you want to do something extra (ie: not equal), do it at another time as a "just because" gift. That way, no one feels slighted.

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gosh I feel bad I give my sons $200 and DIL $100 and she always thanks me for being so generous

I think if I was giving cash, I would keep the $ amount the same - my kids aren't married yet, though. My parents don't usually give us cash, so I have no data, but they are "fair" with the kids. For gifts, my Mom keeps the package count even but favors me over DH. I think it's just because I'm easier for her to buy for though. DH's mother gives him much more than me - cash or gifts. She's a goofball though and lives for her adult children.

cj/

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