I don't come here much, but I think this needs to be said.

The crap that gets thrown around here is frightening. Some of it is a lawsuit or an unemployment compensation claim waiting to happen.

You can get sued for things said on a website.

You can get fired over things said on a website.

Just google Anthony Ciolli, Ellen Simonetti, Dan Leone, as a quick introduction. Hell, just google "facebook fired," and you will find that 8 percent of the reporting companies fired someone because of things that they posted online.

The crap that you say about other persons may not be enough to rise to the level of a lawsuit for defamation or libel, although it might. You would be surprised at the claims that survive a motion to dismiss. A lawyer successfully got past a motion to dismiss, for example, because he was called a "fixer" in a bar journal article.

Even if it isn't enough to get you sued, it may be enough to get you fired or not hired.

Last year, Butte, Montana, asked applicants to reveal their names and passwords to social networking sites. They dropped the demand after an outcry. But if you think that your employers and potential employers are not looking at your posts, you are a fool. I've sat through presentations from hiring officials from companies where the employer's representative has discussed the web-based research that they do into applicants' on-line posting.

You should exercise some discretion. You aren't as anonymous as you might think.

This is totally off your topic, but still something to be concerned about. Several years ago we had a "Family Board" which was much like the current "Cafe". If you were around back then, you know we lost that board for a long time because of some of the same type behavior that is going on now. They just pulled the board, no notice, nothing, one day it was just gone. I would hope that does not happen again.

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visit my homepage http://penny.mycoupons.com/

dannyboy, I rarely agree with you, but this time I think you are spot on.

I have no idea how likely it is anyone would go after people with anonymous ID's, but once people start using their photos as their avatars... well, it's all downhill from there.

Penny, the topic of pulling The Cafe has been getting more on the front burner as of late. The problem we have is the adults behaving not so nicely and the snowballs it makes.

When we volunteer to moderate these boards for no pay, no Christmas Card, no Thank you card, no nothing but to see and help something we like. We all have lives out side of here, spouses, kids, jobs. For us having to babysit the adults really is difficult.

We understand the opinions we all have and how it can create hard feelings. But it is getting no body anywhere. The successful things coming out of it would be less stress for everyone when the board is gone. I really do not think it needs to go that way if it gets changed soon.

I'd like to know what "the boss Greg" has to say? Does he care an iota? Just wondering. There are stated posting rules on here and there are members that violate them over and over again. Wouldn't it just be easier to warn and then ban the continued violators rather than pull the board? I would think you could do that legally when the rules are clearly posted. Just a thought. This is the only board I post on (except my local online newspaper and not very often) so I'd kind of like it to stay as there are lots of nice people still on here. Just MHO.

Just for the record. The drama doesn't bother me. I hope the board doesn't get pulled because of a few, shall we say, heated debates. I get pissed here.......but we just need to let it go. For those that can't move on........well, I just ignore them.


What the heck is that Jen??

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Melissa

If things are to to really change, then some changes will really need to be made. For starters, there needs to be more consistency in what's allowed and what's not. There are a couple of posters who routinely insult others but cry foul when given a MUCH milder dose of their own medicine. It needs to be decided what's acceptable behavior and what's not and the rules enforced.

There's also the vulgarity and cursing that's overlooked when made by some members, yet immediately deleted when made by others. It would be nice if all posters could manage not to behave badly but it just won't happen when the rules aren't evenly applied. Either cursing and insults are allowed or they aren't. Decide how far it can go and firmly draw the line accordingly.

And anyone sending another member threatening PMs or messages really should be banned. You can't expect people to keep their squabbles off the board when it was the board posts that started the squabbles in the first place and name calling continues on the board.

I know that the mods here work very hard and I admit that I would give my eye teeth to learn how My Coupons manages to get people to volunteer to put up with this kind of stress for free. I've never been able to understand how they do it. Most businesses do give Christmas cards, bonuses, and (gasp) regular paychecks and still can't get their employees to work as hard as the mods do here for nothing at all. Seriously, you don't even get a crummy Christmas card? Or a simple 'Thank You'? And yet you are willing to work here for nothing. Amazing.

Sorry, I have to stop for a minute and tip my hat to Greg on this one. Millions of employers would pay big money to learn his secret!

Rate of pay aside, if you want this board to be civil, you'll have to insist on it. You can't let the free-for-alls rage on undisturbed and and just pop in every once in a blue moon to say 'Play Nice". You need rules. You need consistency. You need to apply the rules consistently. Otherwise, the board WILL continue to deteriorate and be closed and nobody will even care if it becomes much worse than it already is.

JTTH.

I was actually hoping to make the opposite point. Moderators are helpful, but when it comes down to it, the poster is responsible for the poster's content.

In sum, you can't be an ass and then blame the moderator for not preventing you from being an ass. You are responsible for what you post. It is those posts that can get you fired, not hired, or sued. Posters should take a little personal responsibility here. A fight is a two-way street. As wowitsdark acknowledged before, she and I have had some heated conversations here. But I don't think we ever crossed the line from heated argument to libelous or defamatory statements.

You all have a choice about what you say and how you say it. Retaliatory posting is stupid and risky.

I completely agree with you but my point is that some posters aren't capable of taking ANY personal responsibility for their squabbles, even the ones they initiated by blatantly insulting those who didn't agree with their position. They sling mud haphazardly and when some mud sticks to them, they complain that they're dirty while picking up still more mud to throw. These people need clearly spelled out rules to follow because they just don't have the capacity to determine what constitutes acceptable behavior without help.

I think it would be lovely if everyone could instinctly know where the civility line is and make sure not to cross it but I just don't think it will happen without consistent, evenly applied rules.

Applying across-the-board stringent rules is time-consuming and costly. If the moderators have to babysit all the posts, then it will have to become a paying job. I vote for everyone doing their best to play by the rules.

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If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition, and then admit that we just don't want to do it.

- Stephen Colbert.

I was just an exchange between an employee and HR. He called in sick, but admitted on FB that he was drunk. I forgot it had a naughty word in the pic.

Here it is edited... (I wish we had clickable tags so it didn't take up so much room)

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Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

I agree - not only from a fear of consequences outside of mycoupons, but just from a respect standpoint. We are all adults. Moderate yourself and see if you actually post half of what you would have. I don't understand how SO MANY posts get off-topic and turn in to attacks. What is that????? Why? It's completely unnecessary and, in my opinion, uncalled for. Stick to the topic and keep the emotion out of it. There are a number of posters who have disagreements that stick to the facts and topics and I enjoy reading those. The ones that turn ugly and personal are just sad and ridiculous. JMTC...

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Kim

With all due respect....yes, you can get fired over something like the facebook thing, because he lied! I don't think you can get fired for arguing, though, which is most of what is here.

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"When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream."

John Lennon

I do appreciate the understanding and I will ask everyone to please keep this board open by monitoring the tempers and words. Since we all have lives out side of here the moderators cannot be on 24/7 reading every post, but since we are adults we all know the guidelines as far as when to draw the line.

Thank you all for being members of MyCoupons and if there is anything we can do, we would appreciate gentle emails or posts.

Yeah, not likely. I think if someone got fired over arguing on a coupon board they might have a wrongful termination suit or at least a good case for unemployment.

It is possible that an employer could read things that an employee posts that cast the employee in a negative light. That may be enough for the employer to start looking for other reasons to let go of the employee. But really the stuff posted here is pretty tame, hardly anything for an employer to get their panties in a bunch about.

I have seen cases on The Something Awful Forums (and other places) where someone sent a thread to another poster's employer or family that got them in hot water.

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Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

Just like real life, you just run into ppl who are ornery. Who want to argue and be right now matter what. I have to be very invested in an issue to make a fuss. That's just my personality. And I'm secure enough in who I am and what I believe that if someone attacks me and is way off base, I won't argue. I'll just move one. That's just who I am. (ok if I'm feeling froggy I might chime into a debate)

"lines of civility".....just like moral standards these are not the same for everyone.....obviously. opaldancing....I get you. I don't always like what you say, or agree with you. But you feel you are just being honest. Well, that is your "line of civility". Being honest from y*our perspective isn't always "civil" from another's perspective.

*jen...I wasn't being critical...just didn't know what I was looking at.

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Melissa

Please note that the posting by Jenh22 was from Australia, which may have vastly different employment laws than the US. Most jobs in the US are classified as "at will employment", which means you can be fired for any reason or no reason or not given a reason and it will not qualify at a "wrongful termination" (which has a very specific meaning in employment law). So, yes most of us could be fired for calling in sick then getting busted on FB. One exception would be if you were a Union employee and had a bona fide contract. Being fired does not automatically qualify or disqualify you from recieving unemployment--each state has its own rules and determination process.

Also, to prove "libel" or "defamation" you have to PROVE damages.....and hurt feelings are not damages. Therefore, it is extremely unlikely that something posted on an internet board, such as this one, would result in anyone winning the 'lawsuit lottery'. The only people that would make money would be the lawyers........

But, I also would like to see less sniping and personal attacks......I just think it's boring.

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"It's not about how much baggage you have, it's about whether or not you can carry your own baggage with grace and dignity."

I think it's a matter of how you present yourself also. If someone for example works as a counselor for drug addicts (just pulling something out of my hat for an example) and they are advocating drug use on a message board there would be concern. Or if someone is let's say a married Reverend or Pastor and has pictures of scantily clad women on his site there would be concern.
If someone is supposed to be doing legal work and their site shows them involved in something shady also a reason for concern.
As far as libel or slander if a person can prove damage to their reputation then it's a valid claim.
If someone says you're stupid or fat or ugly that is not libel if someone says you robbed the bank on the street and sold drugs on the corner and that's not true then that damages your reputation.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

You can get sued over comments made anonymously online, and you can get fired or not hired. I mentioned Anthony Ciolla in my initial post. Ciolla was an administrator on a board called Autoadmit, where anonymous posters singled out two female Yale law students for allegedly harassing and defamatory comments. Ciolla was sued by the students, who contended (at least in my recollection) that they were denied employment as a result of the posts on Autoadmit, apparently because employers had read the posts about them when they came up during a Google search. Also sued were anonymous posters. Through discovery in the lawsuit, some of the anonymous posters were identified.

Ciolla (who was a law student) got a job offer revoked, with the law firm telling him explicitly that it was because of Autoadmit, "We expect any lawyer affiliated with our firm, when presented with the kind of language exhibited on the message board, to reject it and to disavow any affiliation with it. You, instead, facilitated the expression and publication of such language."

AutoAdmit - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia He wasn't even one of the posters of the purportedly harassing posts, and he got his job offer revoked.

The two students ultimately dismissed their suit, apparently because they obtained acceptable settlements from the defendants. Althouse: Erstwhile Yale Law students Heide Iravani and Brittan Heller settle the lawsuit they brought against Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey, Pauliewalnuts and Sleazy Z, etc. — the AutoAdmit commenters who wrote those nasty things.. The terms of the settlements are confidential.

Needless to say, though, even if the settlements by the anonymous posters didn't involve much money, the attorneys fees that the defendants needed to pay to defend the suit weren't cheap. I also remember reading articles revealing the name of one of the anonymous posters, and I can't imagine that it did his job prospects any great service.

I just don't know why people would risk it. I can tell you that, without any question, employers research its applicants and current employees' posts online. I've seen it. I also mentioned Dan Leone in my initial post. Leone worked as a gate chief for the Philadelphia Eagles. He was fired after he criticized one of the Eagle's trades on his facebook page. When you read his post, it seems totally innocuous. But he still lost his job because of it.

I think that, if you are posting something that you would rather that you wouldn't want your employer associating with you, you shouldn't be posting it at all.

There is also, as mentioned by others, the personal pride thing. Do you really want people's perceptions of you to be that of a nasty, hostile person? And, from my standpoint, the posts here aren't uniformly tame. Some do cross the line and enter into the realm of personal and mean spirited.

I've nothing constructive to add. But, I just wanted to say ---

Hello DB !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi you! It's been a while. How are you keeping?

I'm running out of popcorn lately and I can't explain it.

Oh, no prob, I didn't think you were.

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Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

Dannyboy very nice to see you posting. Peace. Catherine