when someone says they will "pray for you"???

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

no. I get happy.

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"When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream."

John Lennon

No, not at all. I can use all the prayers I can get! ~Lisa

Pray for me because I'm going through a rough time and they want to help?

Or pray for my soul because they think I'm going to hell?

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Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

Well, in theory it's nice to pray for someone. But there's always an exception. On this board (and other boards, lol) haven't we all seen posts written something like this....."Well now you have shown your true colors/I feel so sorry for you/it's such a shame that you are such a horrible/awful/pathetic/liar/thief/ignorant/have no morals (fill in the blank) and so, I will say a prayer for you".
OK that's not the same as someone really praying for you...it's more of a self-serving insult, a slam-

Why should you get offended? It has nothing to do with your religion, just theirs. I personally would appreciate the fact that someone takes the time in their day to pray for me whether you believe in it or not.

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Only if I think they have 'misdiagnosed' me with a problem I don't think I have, kind of like a Mrs Kravitz might do. Otherwise, no, I accept it as a gesture of hope that whatever burden I'm carrying will be lifted from my life. I realize not everyone believes there is truly power behind praying, but if nothing else, I wish people could appreciate that the heart of the person doing the praying is one that wishes to see good come to them.

I agree---I think it all depends on what context it is said in.

If it's because I am going through a rough time and the person cares/wants to help/wants to be supportive--then no, it doesn't bother me a bit.

If it's because they think I'm a heathern and I'm going to hell--then yes, it is offensive.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Yes, and after I posted this, I thought "well, it could depend on the person doing the praying, and the whole situation surrounding it". So, each case would be different.

The situation I am referring to in my situation, I tend to be offended. The person who prays for me , well, we have a non-existent relationship basically. They have wronged DH and I in so many ways over the years that DH and I had to cut ties with them. They never accepted responsibility for the things they did (or didn't do) and never would give any credibility to our feelings of how we felt slighted/wronged.

Anyway(s) hehehehhe...... they sent us a plaque that says how they are praying for us. I found it offensive. I don't need them to pray for me or DH in that context, as if WE have done something wrong and they NEED to pray for us. I can't really explain it here in the typed word, but, I just found this particular "prayer" offensive. And, the plaque is musical, and plays "Amazing Grace" which I have always associated with funerals. ODD.....very odd.

Anyway, now we are wondering what to do with this plaque.....it has a monogrammed bronze (faux I'm sure) plate with our names on it, so we can't really donate it anywhere........but, at the same time, we really don't want to display this anywhere in our home.

I know, in the big scheme of things, this is NBD, but, hey, figured I'd throw something up on the boards to get us thinking......

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

No, I don't get offended. On the other side. When I pray for people I just do it, I don't tell them I will. I really see no sense in that.

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Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!

If Vegetarians eat Vegetables. Do Humanitarians eat Humans?

'Vegetarian' is an old Native American word for bad hunter.

I would send it back to them!

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Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!

If Vegetarians eat Vegetables. Do Humanitarians eat Humans?

'Vegetarian' is an old Native American word for bad hunter.

and have their names re engraved on it!

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Melissa

It depends on how they mean it...someone can say that being an A HOLE like my husband's EX gf...because she thinks it makes her sound special and it's very condescending. Then it's different if someone really means it and you are having a rough time in life. See what I mean....it can be a really mean thing to say or a really sweet thing...depends who it's coming from!

This is how I feel. I have told a friend that I will "good good vibes" or "send hugs" their way and they got offended because I wouldn't *pray* for them. Uh, you are supposed to be my friend...

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Yes, actually I do get offended. I know that I am truly in the minority, but I get offended for a reason. Sometimes saying "I'll pray for you" is just something we say when we don't know what else to say. I've heard proclaimed atheists say it solely because they thought it would make the other person feel better.

I never have told anyone that I found it offensive becuase I never really know what someone is thinking or feeling. But the reason that I generally find it offensive is because of my own experiences (or lack thereof) wiht God and religion in general. God has never, ever, answered a single prayer of mine. And it's not like I'm asking for a mansion and a lamborghini; I don't ask God for anything that is not truly a need. I personally know a woman who claims to have been healed by God during a (I can't think of hte name of it; when all the church elders get together and pray for someone's healing and put their hands on their shoulders or something like that) "prayer session" since I can't recall the proper term. Yet my husband of four years continues to suffer from Lupus and is in constant pain every day. I have literally begged God to cure Him and even offered to take the Lupus on myself to alleviate him of it.

Bottom line for me is that I find it offensive becuase God has never answered any of my prayers, so if he is answering the prayers of others, He must be playing favorites or politics or some other kind of game.

Please don't be offended by what I've written. This is a personal issue that I have been struggling with for years. My brother-in-law who is a pastor hasn't even been able to help me with it. I don't want to hurt anyone else becuase I do understand that most people do believe that God answers prayers and I'm sure there are a ton of people reading this who could give me any number of examples of incidences where they believe God has answered their prayers.

Never a prayer is always helpful. Peace. Catherine

I would not be offended unless they were praying that I fell off a bridge and drowned.

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I think it depends on the situation. In the OPs situation, I would not be pleased. An engraved plaque? What the heck are you supposed to do with that? I'm assuming the giver does not visit so will never know if it's diplayed or not. Is it possible to pry off the brass plate and donate it? I bought a lovely clock a few years ago at a yard sale that someone had removed the plaque from.

If someone says to me "I'll keep you in my prayers", I reply "thank you". It doesn't matter what religion they are, or what religion I am...it's just an act of kindness.

lol.......................

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"When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream."

John Lennon

I'll take all the prayers I can get!

What to do with the item? You don't like it, so get rid of it...You should throw it out probably...Here's what Flylady would say (FlyLady.net: Your personal online coach to help you gain control of your house and home)... ~Lisa

What to declutter? Things to ask yourself as you get rid of your clutter:
Do I love this item?
Have I used it in the past year?
Is it really garbage?
Do I have another one that is better?
Should I really keep two?
Does it have sentimental value that causes me to love it?
Or does it give me guilt and make me sad when I see the item?

Cleanse this room of everything that does not make you SMILE.

Ditto, but if you want to to pray to change my heathen ways then have at it....lol
I have already been told I'm, going to hell so whatever!!! (Because I wouldn't accept the man's literature....lol)

It depends. If someone is praying for me because I'm ill or homeless or jobless and they are praying with good intentions then it's wonderful and I'm happy. If someone say's "you're a heathen and you need my prayers" or something like that then yes I'm offended. In allinaugust's situation then I would be offended. I don't anyone praying for me because I'm not what they think I should be.
That is offensive for sure to me anyway.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

I appreciated being prayed for if it's for the right reasons.
And if everyone wants to say a prayer for me that my son will contact me , please feel free!!! Thanks!

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Square dancing is friendship set to music!

That's my first thought, that they feel sorry for me.

Vonda

Lisa, I LOVE Fly Lady!!!

The person that sent it to us has a b'day this month. We are seriously considering sending it to them as a b'day gift. I want to think on this one a while and get input. I've had knee jerk reactions before that I later came to regret.

It is a shame to waste it, but, we will not display this in our home.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I love her too! I used to subscribe, but the emails got to be a bit overwhelming for me. Now that you've explained the situation, I don't think that their intentions were good. They were being ugly. I'm glad you're thinking it over. I would feel like sending it back to them too, but I'd feel better knowing that I was the mature, better person by just ignoring them. I myself think that I'd just throw it out in the trash. It definitely doesn't make you smile! LOL... Shame they have to be that way... ~Lisa

Ditto on the emails....LOL. I could barely get up out of the computer chair for reading all her emails.

Anyway, talked to DH and he doesn't want to send it back as a b'day gift. Not sure I want to trash it, as I think someone may get some joy or comfort from it, just not us. I take it personally as a "oh, you poor soul, I'll pray for you and your sinful ways/past", especially since I looked up "Amazing Grace" and got a lot of back ground on that song.

Yes, Lisa, shame they have to be that way. But, oh well.....it takes all kinds, I guess.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

I think you're the only one who can judge the intent behind the gift. You know these people and can tell whether they meant it as a kindness or as a dig.

However, I think you're really over analyzing the song part of it and looking for offense in something that isn't there. I like 'Amazing Grace' and don't think of it as "a funeral song". The song is a standard choice for religious gifts so the background on the song probably makes no difference at all.

I would not send it back to them as a birthday gift. It's a rude, petty thing to do and guaranteed to cause trouble. Personally, I'd try removing the personalization plate and give the thing to someone who'd actually enjoy it, just as a day brightener for them. If it's impossible to remove the personalized plate, I'd throw it away.

Either way, I'd ask myself if I really wanted to exchange gifts with someone that I disliked as much as you dislike these people. Life's too short to waste time and energy on relationships that make you unhappy.

Heck, I can take all the prayers I can get.

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Mary