I've said for a long time people have money for what they want to have money for..........

Especially with the economy and job situation, it amazes me how people will tell how they don't have money for this or that. Yet....they have even more than that amount for what they want!

I have an employee who eats lunch for 2, maybe 3 days after payday. The remainder of the period, she says if she eats she will become groggy in the afternoon. I've offered here and there to buy her lunch and she declines. Yet she constantly has new shoes and new clothes.........

I have a friend who couldn't afford gas to go see family. Yet she has a cleaning lady and never uses coupons or shops sales..................

When people tell me they need assistance, or are on it, so often they have the newest cell phone, professional nails, a nice car, gold, clothes, etc and it is a lifestyle of getting what they can wherever they can.

Yes, I know. Maybe people just 2 minutes ago fell on hard times. In most cases, it's a lifestyle and having made poor decisions. They have to depend on their bank to text them to advise of low funds since they can't keep track themselves. I think it's too bad our schools and parents have lost the basics with our kids. Oh wait, it's the parents, too, who have no clue about money.

Again, just random thoughts with the market, economy, mind set, etc......

dl

Some people do things they think they "deserve" such as new shoes, purses, vacations, etc. That is not responsible. If it comes down to it we all "deserve" things but some of us are responsible enough to know that what we need i.e. lunch, gas to get to work, property taxes, etc are more pressing than what we "deserve". I don't get it but then again I guess I might not have a fancy car or a fancy house or fancy clothes but I do have a house I can count on being there, food I can eat even though sometimes I have to make do with what's in the cupboard instead of going out or even going to the store to buy the salmon and ahi I love so much. I don't know what to say other than you know and I know what is truly important and what the money should be spent on. It's nice of you to offer her food but when it comes down to it if someone can pay for the food but they choose to spend money on clothes and stuff that's their problem. It's not like she got robbed or her house fell on her in a mudslide or something it's that the choices she's making cause her problems. I think your kindness and offering to help could be better spent on someone who is doing their best and has the misfortune to be without due to no direct fault of their own.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

I agree with both of you. OP the same thoughts bug me. You see people with the best of everything to dress them up thanhave no money to bay bills and are always late paying rent etc.

When I was working as a cashier at a restaurant, one of the waitresses hurt her back and couldn't work for a while. Someone started a collection of food items for her and collected quite a bit for her and her kids.
When she came back to work, she ran up to our hostess one day and very excitedly told her about the diamond cluster ring she had just put on lay-a-way!
One week we had to feed her family and the next week she was buying diamonds!!!

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Square dancing is friendship set to music!

Maybe some people cry broke when they really aren't.

I guess I am one of those people you refer too who has a nice car, new purse, fancy Blackberry, yet I cry broke all the time. I know I do. Sometimes I do it to prevent the oh since you have more money than me you can pick up lunch or hey do you think you can spot me $20.00 until pay day type thing. I know it sounds mean but when it happens over and over you get to a point you get tired. Family members think because you make more than them you can help pay for their vacations. I love the oh you make more money than me so you can pay for our hotel it wont hurt you like it will me. You know because I am not as finacially stable as you. Yeah not my job to pay for your gas, hotel whatnot. If you couldn't afford to go then really you shouldn't have went.

I have been known to go to work and eat lunch a few days out of the week and other days not eat. Not because I can't afford to eat lunch but because really I am not hungry. I get a lecture on it, oh well. I also get the we are going to order out can you go pick it up and we will pay you when we get back thing. I get back and ofcourse no one has the right amount of money they are always short a couple of dollars and I end up covering what they can't pay. So now I just say sorry I don't want lunch I don't have the money today have someone else go and you know what no one does.

I have also been known to cry broke because other people seem offended that you might have more than they do. If your house is nicer or car is nicer they make snide remarks. If you have something they don't well then heck you must be living above your means because if they don't have it surely you shouldn't either. I have even had people make comments oh I don't need the designer things like you have. I would rather save the money for such and such than spend it on what you have. Well good, you spend yours the way you want to and I will spend mine the way I want too.

Someone will talk about a trip or buying something new. If I say oh yeah we are planning to go to such and such later in the year people get an attitude, but if I say oh I know I wish we could afford to do such and such but right now money is tight people seem warmer towards you. I know it is silly but it is true.

So maybe a lot people cry broke when they aren't just so they aren't treated differently.

It all comes down to choices. I'd rather use coupons, shop sales, and make my own coffee to save money for something that I really want in the future. Sure, I wish I had all the latest gadgets that everyone else has but I sleep well at night knowing that I don't have to live paycheck to paycheck. I carefully budget my money each month and try to bring lunch, go to the movies during the matinee, etc.

I think some people may cry broke to get out of doing things they don't really want to do. OP mentioned a friend who couldn't afford gas to see family, yet has a cleaning lady and never uses coupons. Maybe her family is not a priority. I don't want to judge anyone. I'm just saying that most people think they "deserve" things although they don't have the income to afford it. Life was simpler in the past when we didn't have all these gadgets and designer goods.

I agree with the OP. My dh and I put our kids through private school but we gave up things so they could attend (vacations, we shopped with coupons, etc.).
My dh got sick about 5 years ago and is now on disability and I work. We have gone the last 3 years on cruises because that is something that we enjoy together. We don't do certain things so we can cruise.

I know when I think of a trip ( ie..to visit family )..I also think of the stops for food, oil change when I get back..etc. It justs is quicker to say the gas is the problem.

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Live, Love, Laugh

I hate it when people "cry poor" all the time and it isn't to avoid situations like someone stated earlier, I totally understand what the earlier poster was saying about that!

"Crying poor" happens where I work all the time. One woman in particular was always at it to the point that she rarely spoke of anything else and EVERYONE else was so sick of it so one day I let bad Targetgirl out of her room and laid it on the line to whiny woman.

Whiny was complaining about not having money for something that should be a priority, probably one of the utilities which it seemed got turned off on regular basis, right after she hung up from talking to someone on her nice cellphone and right before she dug into a bag of lunch from Subway(which she had at least once a week). I turned around and said flat out that I was able to get a whole pack of buns and a pack of lunchmeat for less than what 1 Subway sandwich cost and that would give me lunch for 4 days and maybe, just maybe, if she tried doing something similar she would have a bit of extra cash too(I bought the stuff at the store we work in so it was easy and available to all)and could stop with the whining that we were all sick of. The look on her face was priceless but guess what? She stopped crying poor so dang much and many people started being nicer to her since it was easier to talk to her when she wasn't whining about money all the time.

I have no idea if she changed her ways or not but at least she shut up about it at work.


I admit it was rude but I had just had it. I didn't scream or lecture, I just laid it out flat and simple.

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Jesus SAVES by shopping smartly and using double coupons!

I think it does come down to choices. I am very frugal, I always shop with coupons, I get most of my clothes from Goodwill, I very rarely use my dryer (dry clothes on a rack in the winter, clothesline in the summer), make my own lunch for work. My family and friends tease me about being so frugal! The one thing we do splurge on would be our vacations. We do take a vacation every few years. I try my best to get a good deal when it comes to our vacations. I am also very good at saving money for those special occasions. We were able to pay for our daughters wedding, without it doing us in finacially. I also was able to save up enough money to take my family on a cruise for my daughters graduation. I actually am pleased with myself for being able to do those special things. Saving money hasn't always been easy on my $50 a day salary as a sub, but I have made it a priority.

I TOTALLY understand what you are saying! I don't cry "broke" but boy...I want to cry something! For example, I don't go out with friends anymore because a couple times a long time ago, I offered to pay for dinner for the 12 of us. I had made a big sale in my business and wanted to splurge. Since then, everyone thought I was picking up the tab. It's kinda difficult when the waiter brings the bill, it's dropped not my end of the table, I reach for my money (for my meal) and no one else reaches. I pass my money and it's like crickets chirping because I'm not paying. SO not cool. My business did really well this year...best year ever. I am so very proud. I busted by hump you know? Well people always ask "how is your business doing?". Trust me...they DO NOT want to know...honestly, they don't. If I say "it's the best year I've ever had" they get this funny look on their face and say "oh, that's nice" in a weird voice. It's like I'm rubbing salt in some wound or something. We've done home improvements this year and we get "that look" by a lot of people. It's hard to be happy with your life and what you are able to do when others want to bring you down because they aren't in the same situation.

Of coarse there are those that are happy for you and "real" friends no matter what. That's what keeps you going. When it's a down economy and a lot of people are out of work, a lot of bitching goes on. Not a lot of people want to hear about anything positive, especially if it's happening to someone else and not them. And it gets REALLY old sitting and listening to people gripe. You feel like the odd man out because you are ok.

Keowa, I've done the not eating thing when I worked at an office too...for the same reasons (sick of picking up the extra $). I know it was talked about (an office worker shared with me). That's why I love beings self employed sometimes.

I buy things on sale, bargain hunt, etc. I wheel and deal and that is a big reason why we have extra to spend. If I try to explain how to save some $$ here so you can spend it there...they don't want to hear it (even if they asked about it first). They think they are too "poor". People have walls built up. A lot of people don't want to change their lifestyle or ways because that means their previous lifestyle ways were wrong...and boy, don't tell someone they are wrong. Some folks just don't get that you can be frugal, bargain hunt, use coupons AND live in a nice house with nice things (which we didn't pay full price for of coarse). They assume you have "Daddy's money" or something

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

Sexysmurf, I think I love you lol!!

I agree 100% with the idea of spending less on some things so you have more to spend on other things that mean more to you/you want more.

I'm a coupon queen and sale rack shopper. Why should I pay full price for a toothbrush when I can get it for free with a coupon or full price for a pack of socks when I can wait for them to go on sale BOGO and then stock up a bit.

If other people can't wrap their brains around what seems such a simple concept then I can't help them.

I always wonder about freeloaders. How can anyone just sit buy and expect a friend to always buy dinner/movie tickets/what ever? The only way I could do that is if my friend won the super mega lottery but even then I wouldn't expect it and would always come prepared to pay my own way and would offer to pay for the friend from time to time as well.

And for the record, if I ever win the powerball all going out will always be on me. I won't miss the money-honest!

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Jesus SAVES by shopping smartly and using double coupons!

Ah...thank you targetgirl! I needed that!!!!! You have no idea

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

We do the same. I sale shop. I have even taught my husband to go back after he has bought something and get the sale price. Infact we just did that last night on a saw he bought for over $500.00 it went on sale Thursday for $299.00 and we marched back to home depot and got the difference. Then what we do is put the money we got back in savings or if there is something else we wanted we use that money to get it since we would have spent it anyways.

When I bought the appliances for my house. I used coupons, went to different stores researched the prices then went to the store that would pricematch plus give me 10% off lowest price. I saved almost 5000.00 doing that on appliances for the whole house. I was so proud of myself. Do you know what someone said to me? It must be nice to afford appliances that you get that much money back on, wish I had that kind of money. It wasn't said in a nice tone. I actually felt kind of guilty afterwards.

A lot of times if I want something nice that I feel is too pricey to go out and buy everyday I will ask my husband to give it to me for a gift or like last Valentines day we needed some furniture for the house and we gifted it to each other for Valentines day rather than just buy it. So what do we hear about that? Gee all I got was a card and chocolate must be nice to get furniture for Valentines day. Ugh can't win.

I have gift cards and what not I have gotten for Christmas over a year ago that I haven't spent. I save them and wait for just the right deal before I use them. Sometimes I wait just a few weeks before that deal comes sometimes it might be a year or more, but when it comes I have my gift cards and usually by that time I have enough cards to pay for the whole thing and not out of my pocket.

Some people don't understand you can get a lot of nice things if you have patience wait for the deal, save up gift cards or use the opportunity where you would already spend money and just buy something you need rather than something you want.

I hear you sister! Sounds like us. I price match and go in to get a price adjustment as well. In fact, I'm doing that today. I had to buy some nice clothes for a meeting (I am a tshirt and jeans girl). So I bought them at Kohls on sale. Now they are on sale AND I have the 30% coupon so I am heading them later today My husband loves to brag about my money saving abilities

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

I'm one of those peole who stocks-up on great priced items, uses coupons, searches for sales, and buys items @ off season times to get more bang for my buck. Of course, there are the people who think I'm poor/cheap because I do this and only a few realize it's because I save $$$$. I agree w/ you I don't understand how pople can say they don't have $ yet live a life w/ many luxuries. As a teacher, I try to teach my students about saving money and coupons, along w/ the philosophy of "want vs. need". Unfortunately, many just laugh and think I'm cheap because I don't see the sense of buying $80 jeans or tennis shoes when you can use coupons or wait for a sale. Being financially savvy takes time, patience, and effort. All too often, it's easier for people to buy w/o thinking.

Great Post - Gives me the chance to vent about a friend of mine. She has very selective memory.

I asked her if she wanted to go in with me on the lottery. She said she did but she forgot to pay me for her share. I forgot about it.

I asked her if she wanted to go with me to review a restaurant for a secret shopping assignment. She asked if her husband could come along with us. I told her he could as long as my share is free and she pays the difference. She kept telling me she wanted to pay me for it and I kept telling her to wait until I get reimbursed so I would know what it would be. When I was finally reimbursed I told her I got reimbursed but at that point she didn't ask to pay me her share. So I told her what she owed me. She gave me the strangest look like that was just too much. You guessed it, I lowered her payment and paid the rest. If just the two of us had gone, our entire bill would have been paid by the shopping service.

I keep giving her freebies I get and pick up her lunch tab and she very seldom even says thank you and never offers to pay for my lunch.

I've stopped giving her anything because she always just takes and never gives. Yet we were having a conversation one day and she said to me that she always wants to be fair and pay her share.

A few days ago she told me she is a month behind on all her payments because she ran out of unemployment compensation. But she is able to go play Bingo at least once or twice a week in addition to going up to the Casinos at the River.

I'm living on Social Security and taking from my savings every month so I don't have anything to spare. Her husband still has a job.

My sister worked for the phone company for about 20 yrs. Every day she brought her lunch to work. Every day many of the others she worked with came in the morning with fancy coffees and fast food breakfasts. At lunch they would go out and buy something. Then they would "cry poor" all the time. One day my sister was PMSing and she couldn't take their "crying poor" anymore. She said "are you guys rich?" They said "no why would you think that?" She said "do you know how much you spend on food everyday?" Them "what else are we supposed to do? We have to eat". My sister "why don't you eat breakfast at home and pack a lunch?" They looked at her like she said go jump over the moon and like the thought had never occurred to them.
The American advertising system and credit market would like us all to think we need more, better, bigger, fancier, and by the way it doesn't matter if you can't afford any of it you deserve it so get it anyway.
My husband and I have not taken any vacations and sure it gets boring sometimes but when one member of a household did not work for six months it's stupid to waste money on things you don't need.
And people are so spoiled. One of my Mom's older Italian friends said he brought his grandkids some ice cream and they wouldn't eat it because they all wanted different flavors. He told them when he growing up he was lucky to have ice cream once or twice a year and it never would have occurred to him to complain about the flavor.
We went to a birthday party for a friend the day after Christmas and a couple was talking about how they were 2 1/2 mortgage payments behind but they had decided to spend hundreds of dollars to buy their kids Christmas presents including a Wii, designer purses, clothes, etc. I could not believe it. They said since their house was upside down there was no way the bank would foreclose so they were more worried about the presents than the house payment. I wanted a Wii too and could have bought one but to me that is a luxury item and there were things we needed. I don't get it.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

I wasn't there but it didn't sound rude to me. It sounded long overdue!

I no longer offer. I guess in some ways, I thought maybe she'd realize someone was interested in her well being. It certainly is very interesting how people rationalize what they have money for.

dl

I always hear couples on talk shows about being in debt talking about how "I work hard I deserved to go to Hawaii." They are sometimes losing their homes or owe 10s or 100s of thousands of dollars in credit card debt. I guess my feeling is if I can't pay for it then I don't deserve it.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

Ok, this is only kinda off topic, I belong to freecycle and the local trader sites. I was reading thru here and clicking thru emails, and ran across this one:

"wanted left over yard sale items and any other items you want to get rid of. Will use to rasie money for a vacation. Thanks"

At least they are upfront about why, and trying to make the vacation money come from somewhere besides their bill money. I just thought this was kinda funny.

I would not go on a vacation if we did not have the cash up front to fund it! Thats part of my deal...I always make sure that when we leave for vacation, the money is at home and I can pay off the charge card when it arrives! I think my issue with making vacations important to my family is partly because before my Dad passed away, he told me one of his biggest regrets was that he never took family vacations with us, and that we should take family vacations as often as possible (as long as we don't have to borrow money to do it). We have taken several family vacations, often with as many as 15 family members going together. They are memories that my daughters talk about often! Heck...the adults in the family want to know when I am planning our next vacation. I am the official travel agent for our family..LOL

What amazes me is that people don't tailor the things they "deserve" to fit their financial situation.
If you want to go away on vacation but don't have much cash you can go camping or work out a house trade with a close friend/relative or just take a long weekend someplace inexpensive. Vacation doesn't have to mean going someplace on a plane.

When we were kids my parents didn't have much money but we went on vacation just about every year. We went camping a lot plus we did a lot of overnight trips to amusement parks/zoos/museums/etc. It was fun and didn't break the bank. We did what we could afford. Why is that concept so hard for some people?

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Jesus SAVES by shopping smartly and using double coupons!

I think many people have a hard time with the concept of spending what they can afford. Look at all the people who are defaulting on house loans. They purchased a house that they could not afford. For me...that is a very simple concept! I know lots of people who live in homes they cannot afford, drive cars they can't afford, and wear clothes they can't afford. I cannot imagine what it must be like to go to bed at night knowing you owe more money then you can afford to pay back! I wouldn't be able to sleep at night!