Okay - so here's a challenge for everyone.

Let's say your out-of-state inlaws invite themselves to visit, and although the thought of a visit isn't a huge problem, the length of the visit is.

When someone is driving across the country to visit, how long do you feel is a respectful visit and making the long trip (for retired individuals) worth their effort?

How would you define good manners for both sides in a situation such as this?

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"Dance like no one is watching."

It depends ....

I have a few family members I would let move in; however, I can only handle 4-7 days for everyone else. If they are making an effort to visit and there is expense with that, perhaps you can get them a week at a local hotel and tell them it is to give them a break from you ...

Good manners = mind your own business, clean up after the meals and after yourself, buy the food for most of the meals and offer to cook, and leave before they want you to go.

Good luck!

When I was a kid my dad had two weeks off for vacation. Sometimes we would drive from San Diego to North Dakota to see my grandparents. It took 2 1/2 to 3 days each way so we were only there for a week or a little longer. With all that driving I always thought it was way to short. I always wished that we could stay for 2 or 3 weeks. They did drive up there a couple times after my dad retired and when there was no time that they had to be back I think they stayed 2 full weeks. For a long drive I think that is the min. amount of time you would want to stay.

I think it depends on the size of the house, the expectations of the visitors as to time spent together, the work hours of the hosts, and the other needs of the hosts and visitors. My husband and I just had a conversation about our mothers while watching Everybody Loves Raymond. My Mom, even if she lived next door would not come over unless invited, his would be over every five minutes, make curtains for us with no consultation and have her feelings hurt if we didn't hang them and keep them.
Some relatives are invasive, others are not.
There are many variables to be considered.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

I would say a minimum of a one week stay should be expected. I have a feeling that you may be suggesting that they plan on staying much longer though.

Are they fairly independent or would they require much entertaining?

I would take the approach that I do not see them very often, and whatever happens during the visit, even if it's longer than expected, I will enjoy and make the best of it.

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

If I liked my in-laws I would have no problem with them staying at my house for as long as they wanted. With my ex-inlaws, I adored my father in law, we even got a two family house just so he could be close to the kids. My ex-mother in law, well she is another story..and I will just say that its a good thing they divorced. Now with my boyfriends parents, if they ever say they are coming for a visit, they better find themselves a nice comfy bus station because after their one (and only) trip up here and how they acted, they are not and never will be allowed in our home.

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it