I have not spent much time in the work force, so I always have a hard time trying to advise my daughter when she has come upon issues at work. This time I am at a total loss. Here's the situation...

She works as a tech in an opticians office. The other day they had a patient who smelled horribly, she did the exam, then just got out of the room. The Dr. went in, did his exam, came out of the room all ticked off, washed his hands then turned to her and said "Next time turn the fan on!!!" THEN proceeded to throw the wet towel in her face!!!

What would you do???

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Melissa

Did the towel really, actually get thrown in her face? Was anyone else there to witness?

She needs to calmly discuss the issue with her supervisor, prepared with date, time and factual information. This is aggression and needs to be formally addressed.

People's actions are awful. I hope it was just a one time thing with the Dr. and not something that has / or will escalate. If she doesn't pursue the issue, the Dr. will perhaps continue to treat her in a demeaning way and think it's ok because the behavior is accepted.

dl

He probably did not intentionally "throw the towel in her face" but rather just threw the towel in annoyance without being careful where it landed.

Yes the towel actually got thrown in her face. There has already been an escalation. The supervisor is his wife. They own the clinic and she keeps all her managers very close to her. There are cameras everywhere and she often runs the clinic from home, calling and giving instruction from there.

I don't think there were any witnesses except of course, the camera.

Just from talking to her, it seems that things have gotten more and more tense. I have to believe there is something going on she is not privy to. Either personal, or with the business.

I also think that she needs to find a way to put her foot down without jeopardizing her job. Not sure how she can do that since he owns the clinic.

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Melissa

Sounds to me like it is time to start job hunting!

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Square dancing is friendship set to music!

well, probably what I would do, is not what everyone would do! But....

I'd calmly approach the man, and say "I don't know if you realize it, but the other day when you tossed the towel, it landed on my face. I don't think you did it intentionally. I just wanted to let you know. I apologize about not turning on the fan, I just wasn't sure what I should do! I didn't want to offend or embarass the patient...."

And then, I would suggest she start looking for a new job! :-) Only because it doesn't sound like a very good enviroment to work in.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

That's pretty sound advice, Marilyn. I think that is the route she is heading towards.

The thing is, she was required to get a certificate within a year of being hired. She had to fork out the money for the test, and she just took it today. She did well and passed. I think she should try to find a position at another clinic....

I'll keep you updated on which way she goes!!

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Melissa

I agree with Marilyn. That way she is letting him know it's unacceptable without accusing him of anything. And I would not work for someone like that. Make sure she writes everything down so if she needs to apply for unemployment she has the details. Nobody has to put up with that type of behavior. She was just doing her job and did not want to offend the customer. Her boss lost his temper perhaps it was a one time occurrence or perhaps he always acts like that. Either way nobody has to work in a place where they feel threatened.

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Honeslty I would have called the police and filed battery charges... Drs do this all the time and get away with it.

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Be careful what you wish for.....

what was described by the OP would be an assault, not battery.

from dictionary.com:
"battery": Law. an unlawful attack upon another person by beating or wounding, or by touching in an offensive manner.

as·sault   /əˈsɔlt/ Show Spelled[uh-sawlt] Show IPA
–noun
1.a sudden, violent attack; onslaught: an assault on tradition.
2.Law. an unlawful physical attack upon another; an attempt or offer to do violence to another, with or without battery, as by holdinga stone or club in a threatening manner.

HOWEVER, most assault charges require that there be some proof of intent. It very well could be that the Dr. involved didn't actually mean to hit her, he may have misjudged the distance or he may have misjudged how hard he threw the towel.
Going to the police, in this instance, is in my opinion the absolute worst thing to do!

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Not really the worst thing.... There was a dr at my work who used to do this to people until someone FINALLY pressed charges... it stopped real fast.... And yes, the intent was there when he threw the towel... Even if he did not MEAN to hit her, it did...

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Be careful what you wish for.....

I think you said it very well.

this is probably what I would do as well.

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

I would start looking for a new job. I'm not sure confronting him, no matter how civil, will do any good. It might get her fired for fake reasons. I'd find a new job and then quit with no notice, unless she signed something when hired indicating she'd give notice.

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If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition, and then admit that we just don't want to do it.

- Stephen Colbert.

yup time to find a new job!!! Not even a question in my mind about it

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mom of 3 greats girls

I think she should call him on it, and when she is fired-cuz he sounds like a total douchebag...she needs to sue for a hostile workplace claim. Hopefully, in the meantime, she can find something else. While our economy stinks right now, it doesn't give the jerks the power to act like pimps!

Don't hold back now, linnybop, tell us what you REALLY think! LOL You are soooo funny!

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I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code. -Emo Phillips

Is she the only employee? If so, I would not confront this man, even in a non-confrontational manner, without being sure there were others within earshot. No I take that all back. She should not talk to him at all about this. He sounds like an explosion waiting to happen. And there may be times when she is alone with him. Not a good idea to be alone with someone who is bigger, meaner, madder.

If there are other employees, she should quietly mention what happened to one or two of them. See what kind of response she gets. This may be a common event. The cameras may be there more to monitor him, than the employees and customers.

As said before, Time to job hunt. Quickly in my opinion.

I would advise her to keep her job BUT to seriously be looking for another one at the same time.

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its really bad to hear that a doctor is treating a girl in such a manner. but don't get angry and do something. approach the doctor and ask him not to do this again.. in the mean time ask your daughter to search for another job.

I disagree with approaching him. This is a man with anger issues. He may be barely under control at times. The one thing she should not do is draw attention to herself or the towel throwing attack. If this were an isolated and unusual occurrence, I suspect he would have come and apologized soon after. The fact that he didn't leads me to think that he either saw nothing wrong with what happened. or is so caught up in his own anger that he doesn't care. The third possibility is that he is ashamed of his behavior and too embarrassed to bring it up, in which case she should also let it be. If approached, the first two anger him more, the third embarrasses him further, in which case he will be happy that she is moving to another job.

I think she needs to consider her career, do what she needs to do in order to get her certificate, and start looking for another job. I would also suggest that she journal this incident in detail and continue to log anything he does that is similar behavior.

Then, in her exit interview she should give the journal entry to his wife and tell her that this is a large part of why she is leaving:

1) She expects the same respect she affords others.
2) She will not spend time in a job where she is demeaned.
3) She will not remain in a position where she has things thrown at her.

Possibly hand the supervisor a few numbers for anger management and people skills classes, telling her she wants to see the practice succeed and wishes them well, and walk out with her head held high. Yeah...they'll be insulted, but frankly who cares?

The truth is, 6-8 years in medical school doesn't make you better than the next person, and it certainly doesn't buy you a sense of common decency and common sense. Some things we learn in our formative years, and this poor guy must've grown up without the benefit of good moralistic mentors. Unfortunate.

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