Hollywood
Squares:
These great questions and
answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show
responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter
Marshall was the host asking the questions, of
course..

Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding
meat?


A. Paul
Lynde: Loneliness!

(The audience laughed so long and
so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)


Q. Do female frogs croak?


A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their
little heads under
water long enough.


Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at
least how high should you be

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of
steady drinking should do it.


Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as
5,000 years...


A. George
Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.


Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep.
Are you probably a man or a woman?

A. Don Knotts: That's
what's been keeping me awake.


Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a
stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to
come out and ask him if he's married?

A... Rose Marie: No
wait until morning.



Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish
as you get older?


A. Charley
Weaver: My sense of decency..


Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three
words to say 'I Love You'?

A. Vincent Price: No, you can say
it with a pineapple and a twenty..


Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I
Can't Get Enough'?


A. George Gobel:
I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.


Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture
more or less with your hands while talking?

A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more
growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never
forget.



Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear
leather?


A. Paul Lynde:
Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.


Q.. Charley, you've just decided to grow
strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first
year?


A.. Charley
Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.


Q. In bowling, what's a perfect
score?


A. Rose Marie:
Ralph, the pin boy.



Q.
It is considered
in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.. One is politics, what is
the other?


A. Paul Lynde:
Tape measures..



Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the
bedroom or in the closet?

A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter,
I'm always safe in the bedroom.


Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire
Girls?


A.. Marty
Allen: Only after lights out.


Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag
his tail. What will a goose do?

A. Paul Lynde: Make him
bark?



Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what
would you give birth to?

A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it
would never be afraid of the dark..


Q. According to Ann Landers, is
there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of
people?


A. Charley
Weaver: It got me out of the army..


Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of
your body, what is it?

A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused,
but it certainly isn't neglected.


Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put
horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?

A. George Gobel: Get it in his
mouth.



Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of
time, your wife or your elephant?

A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about
my elephant?



Q.
When a couple
have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

A.. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him
the car, the rest is up to him


Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he
firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions.
What are they?


A. Charley
Weaver: His feet.



Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two
things you should never do in bed?

A. Paul Lynde: Point
and laugh



WE DON'T
STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD,
WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP
LAUGHING.

__________________
The political system is broke and it's a joke.

K-snort! Thanks for the laugh, loved those!

Anna thanks so much for posting I remember the show so well and there were many many laughs that came from the show thanks for sharing peace. Catherine

Anna, are you rating your own posts again??? JK lol

__________________
Melissa

Troublemaker! Pretty soon people will figure out that you and I are the same person!

__________________
The political system is broke and it's a joke.

I remember watching that show. Those are way too funny! Thanks for sharing!

__________________
~~just open your eyes and see that life if beautiful~~