If you watched, do you think you could be as forgiving as the Amish?
I watched it and was amazed at how forgiving they were so soon after the shooting, esp. the father who had learned that he lost his daughter. Personally, I do not know if I would be able to forgive the person if I was in the same situation. Maybe years later I could forgive them, but there would be no way I could do it just hours afterwards.

__________________
~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

I didn't see the movie but I saw the previews I am not sure how I would behave. However I believe that forgiveness is something you give yourself, as in letting go of the bitter feelings so you can live your life without carrying the burden of hate or revenge or whatever heavy negative feelings you may have. I don't know if I could so far as to make "friends" with the offender however in this case the wife and family of the monster had nothing to do with it and their lives were shattered also so I might be able to. It's really hard to say without, God forbid, having that experience.

__________________
The political system is broke and it's a joke.

i watched it. very good movie. i had read the book about a year ago, thought it had a different name than that though. i don't think i could forgive as easily, although i know that's what you are supposed to do.

I forgot it was on-previews looked really good. I'll have to catch it in a re-run sometime.

The best thing we can do is forgive being angry will never bring our loved one back.I have forgiven the people who killed my sister and my husband BUT i dont ever want to see them or be friends with them but i no longer hate them and wish them dead and believe me there was i time that i did.
that movie mad me cry.

__________________
Tim
My Husband, My Love....Best Dad
You Were Taken From Us Way To Soon
Forever In Our Hearts
We Will Always Love You
2-18-69 TO 12-23-03
http://www.freewebs.com/mcgrathville/index.htm

I watched it. I bawled like a baby. I was glad I was watching it alone.

No, I couldn't forgive like the Amish. I think they're wonderful people and I respect them greatly, but I couldn't do it. I'm a pretty forgiving person, but I'm holding a deep, deep grudge against someone I blame for a family death 2 1/2 years ago to the point that I feel more hatred towards this person today than I did originally. I know it's wrong - I just can't seem to let it go. Every guilty breath he takes is a breath she didn't get to take.

Anyone every thought about having an Amish pen pal? I wonder if someone would write back? I'd love to hear more about their way of life.

I would love to have an Amish pen pal, I wonder how one could go about finding one. I also think they are wonderful people.

__________________
~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Forgiveness is very hard and I'm not saying I could do it but forgiveness is a gift to yourself. It really doesn't affect the "guilty" party, it just takes away the deep seated anger that you have. Look how unhappy the anger makes you. Forgiveness doesn't mean you are ok with what happened nor does it lesson the horror of what happened. Your hate will only hurt you in the long run, not the perpetrator. God bless you and I hope you find healing.

Kathy, thank you for your kind words. I realize intellectually that what you say is true...I experience it daily. In my heart of hearts, I'm not sure I'll ever find peace though, til he takes his last breath. Again, I know it's wrong and I know I'm hurting me, not him, but I'm really having difficulty letting it go. Maybe I should pray for a more forgiving and understanding heart or something. Quite frankly, I'm a little ticked off at God, too, over her death. Still, thank you.

It does sound like you are working through the stages of grief. Quite a few years ago my then husband was in a 3 or 4 yr tenure battle with the dept head of the University where he was working. It took a huge toll on our marriage-one of many things that led to my divorce. I must admit I HATED that dept head for years for putting us through hell. It cost us $5K hiring an attorney, etc... All the full professors were on my husbands side and it opened up a whole can of worms. It ended up ok, my husband was tenured, but the dept head was such a scumbag that he took a different job before he got into too much trouble. But I was just soooo angry for years. Now I look back and see how much that anger hurt ME, never a drop hurt him. Good luck with your journey. Remember, no matter how much it hurts, God IS on your side! Give it all to Him! We can't understand all of Gods plans but we have to put our faith in Him and know that he will help us through anything that happens. God bless you.