My daughter has 2 Jr. Proms to attend this year

One dress she is borrowing from a friend -- it has to be hemmed by a tailor - and she will need shoes, purse and so on

the second dress she has chosen is $180 plus $50 to be hemmed --plus any othe items she needs

My niece has offered her to look through her dresses and she can cut them down if need be--

I really lean to doing that -- it will be expensive for all the little things -- but my husband feels this is me being too frugal

My daughter is very petite and it is diificult to find a dress to fit her -- she is a good kid -- but I can't help but think -- it is alot of money for one night for Jr. Prom -- we can afford it -- but have a lot of tution bills coming over the next few months

Do I just buy the dress and be glad we only have to buy one -- or be my frugal self and check out my nieces used dresses?

How does your daughter feel about it? If she's ok with it, I say check out your niece's dresses. I assume she still has her senior prom coming up also. She can always buy a new dress for that.
This is a good opportunity to teach her about saving money for more important things i.e college.
Judy

I know I would have loved to have been able to save money as a teen. I too would ask her how she feels. I would give her a set limit on how much can be spent on both dances including accessories. If she chooses to buy a dress, it will have to come out of that. That's what my mom did. I got a set amount of money to buy dresses and accessories for all dances that year. I got a nice pair of black heels my sophmore year and was able to use them for every dance through my senior prom as well as the same purse (as nice satin handbag I STILL use almost 20 years later).

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You mentioned that it was Jr. Prom How old is your daughter? If she were a junior or senior in high school, I would be more apt to spend a little money, but younger than that, no way. If you spend over $200 or more for a dress now, what will she expect in a couple of years? I would agree to the newer, expensive dress if she could pay for some it, and she will appreciate the dress that much more.

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Google cheap prom dresses.....you can find some really cute dresses starting at $80. Last year my dd received a very last minute invite to the senior prom (she was a junior) and we bought a $79 dress on line that was really cute. We measured her according to the website instructions and the dress fit like a glove. I made her buy the shoes. This was a case of she wanted to go to the prom because alot of her friends were seniors and the boy was a good friend who needed a date- so I wasn't inclined to spend alot. She did try on some of her friend's older dresses, but the problem there is that they rarely in near perfect condition by the next year- they either have snags or stains and DD did, of course, not want to deal with that.

This year DD found her own dress at a shop on clearance for $80. It is very pretty. It does have to be altered, but luckily we know someone who is very reasonable. Perhaps you could ask around and find a more reasonable price for the alterations.....

She is Jr. in high school-- thanks for all the input!

This is two different proms? If so, why does she need two different dresses?

Is the new dress for her prom and the borrowed dress for someone elses prom?

Imho it's a special day and as long as you can afford it I'd get her the new dress -- how many more opportunities will you have like this for your daughter?

You say she is in junior high? If she were my daughter (I have 3, 2 adults and a 14 year old) , I would get away as cheaply as possible now, while she was younger, right now she is just going to be exicted to go to the prom. I would use the money later on to buy the newer, more expensive dresses when she is older, you will have many more proms coming, if she is only in junior high now.

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She said she is a Junior in High School

Oops, my mistake! So she will go to her own prom next year too. So you will be buying another dress next year also. I would still do it the same way. Save the money and spend it on her own prom.

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I wouldn't spend any money as we all know these traditional ladies do not keep their clothes on long at these proms.

Another way to save on prom dresses is to buy them at the end of the year. One of my daughters did pageants and we would buy prom dresses at the end of the year marked down to $10- $15 from $200-$300. I never payed full price for a nice dress. So at the end of this year start looking for next years dress, that way you can afford several and she can have several to choose from when the time comes. My middle daughter always had a ton of dresses to choose from to wear and her friends would come and borrow her dresses too. Even as an adult at 24 she still wears the same size and still wears some of the dresses to the military balls that she now goes to, she's married to a sailor now.

My youngest also did a pageant (a couple of years ago), thank goodness she wasn't that into them (because I am not) and we did the same for her I had bought several gowns at the end of the prom season marked down to $10 from $200. I always try to support my kids in what they want to do (within reason and within budget) her thing has always been sports and the others was always sewing and pageants. We still have some gowns new with tags hanging in the closet.

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Does she sew? She could always make one. I did that for my senior prom years ago.
Judy

You guys rock--
Yes it is her High school prom - Her Jr year -- She will also have a Sr one

She has been asked by a friend to go to his-- she is wearing a borrowed dress

Another friend has hinted at her going to his---

I am happy that she is willing to go with a friend so that he has a date!

Plus she has her own prom!

I am still on the fence --- $220 is a lot of money to look pretty for a couple of hours! It is a night she will remember for ever -- what to do what to do

I will look for after prom sales this year -- she has never been much on going to the formal dances - but I guess that is changing!

Judy, that reminds me, my now 24 year old did sew a prom dress " a formal gown" to enter in the fair in 4-H, she won best in show for it, then later 1st in county, but she wouldn't wear it to prom because she didn't want to mess it up, LOL, she had worked so hard on it and hand sewed pearls on the top and on the spaghtetti straps. it turned out really nice. My mom had been a professional seamstress and this daughter was the only one that learned everything she could from her before she passed away. Anyway, she would always wear one of the cheapo ($200-300) dresses we paid $10-20 for because she didn't want to mess the one she made up.

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I have to wonder why one dress won't suffice? And I would take this as an opportunity for her to learn how to get the best value. The same dress could be changed with different accessories, scarf, etc, even the hem could be shortened or scalloped, etc.

dl

I remember being a teen and gotta say there is NO WAY you can wear the same dress to two different dances at school. I know I would have pinched a fit about wearing the same dress to different dances because if someone sees you there that notices...it can be socially awkward and bad. Stupid? Sure but this is high school. Dress swapping could work if she says a friend a similar size but it sounds like her stuff needs lots of altering. I know around our area they have drop off spots to donate used prom dresses so girls can get good dresses for free. not sure if there is a program like that around you

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ss - it read to me that it's two different proms. Also it seems it would two proms/schools because one school (in my experience) does not have two proms in the same year. I continue to see no reason she can't wear the same dress with a bit of ingenuity and creativity. That's part of what's wrong with society. Spend, spend, spend to impress. One can have some pride and be reasonable to live within financial means.

Where I come from, we say "pitched a fit", I've never heard "pinched a fit", interesting.

dl

dl,

being an adult, I understand the spend to impress is stupid. As a teen...totally another story when proms were concerned. If her DD would wear the same dress to the 2nd prom, that would be great. I know I went to multiple proms and some of the people who saw me at my prom were at prom #2. That is why I wouldn't want the same dress. In some circles (perhaps not OP's DD's), wearing the same dress to two proms (no matter if it's different schools) is not good. Is this good thinking? No but it's how a lot of teens think.

LOL on the fit phrase. I have seen it/heard it both ways. My mom says "pinched a fit" as does my DH although I usually say "pitched a fit" (as my Dad says). OMG...I must be turning into my mom since I wrote it her way LOL

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What I always did with my 23 year old when he wanted something expensive I would ask him to pay half. If he really wanted it he would say yes. I don't think he ever wanted anything that much. lol

This is a tough one. Two junior proms or possibly even three..... That can be very expensive. Most of those dresses are worn 1 time. It's justifiable to me for senior prom, but I'd have a hard time spending that kind of money on multiples - plus all the other stuff... shoes, bag, hair, jewelry, etc. My parents shelled out the money for my senior prom, but we had lots of other events that required dressing up - football banquet, NHS banquet, senior cruise (which had 2 formal nights). We would trade dresses with other girls or even (gasp) go some upscale resell shops. I would keep looking and talk with your niece to see if she has anything that would work.

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Kim

She's going to two, possibly 3 proms this year, she's only asking for 1 dress -- sounds pretty reasonable to me.

Just a thought, do you have any dress shops that sell consignment locally?

We just did cotillion with my middle DD and we found a consignment dress at the local formal shop ( worn once to a prom ) and then had it altered into a tea length for her event, plus tucked here and there for good fit. The dress cost me $30 and the alteration $35 and it turned out super. If you shop around I'm sure you can find something she loves, but for less. We shopped a little a found cute silver sandals for $10 on sale .. rather than $40. Add in $30 for a cute up do and some pretty hair twists .. the whole thing was fairly inexpensive, but looked classy on a budget.

She found a dress she is happy with - it was $110
a pair of silver heels - $10 on clearance-
will use a purse she has that is silver-

the shoes and purse will also be used with her other dress-- for her first prom --

Boy am I happy that is done --
We have been looking at Craigslist also for dresses that could be cut down

Thanks for all the good Mom advice

Sounds like all is well. I hope she has a good time!

Kim

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Kim