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The Cafe - 'TC' So? Your daughter wants her belly pierced? Your cat keeps using the couch as a litter box? Your husband taped the Hockey game over your wedding video? Your neighbor has a gnome collection and it makes you mad? Pour yourself a cup of coffee and come on in to The Café! Talk amongst yourselves...discuss, question, reply, or respond to many subjects!

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Old 04-29-2010, 05:31 PM
KellyJef's Avatar
Ultimate Member
 
Join Date: Jul 1999
Posts: 6,291
Survivor - next series

THE
NEXT SURVIVOR
SERIES

Six married men
Will be dropped on an island

With one car

And 3 kids each

For six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports
And take either music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must

Take care of his 3 kids;
Keep his assigned house clean,
Correct all homework,
Complete science projects,
Cook,
Do laundry,
And pay a list of 'pretend' bills
With not enough money.

In addition,

Each man
Will have to budget enough money
For groceries each week.

Each man
Must remember the birthdays
Of all their friends and relatives,
And send cards out on time--no emailing.

Each man must also take each child
To a doctor's appointment,
A dentist appointment
And a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and
Inconvenient visit per child to the Emergency Room.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes
For a school function.

Each man will be responsible for
Decorating his own assigned house,
Planting flowers outside, and keeping it
Presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television

When the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs,

Wear makeup daily,

Adorn themselves with jewelry,

Wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,

Keep fingernails polished,

And eyebrows groomed

During one of the six weeks,

The men will have to endure severe
Abdominal cramps, backaches, headaches,
Have extreme, unexplained mood swings
But never once complain or slow down
>From other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings

And church,
And find time at least once to spend
The afternoon at the park or a similar
Setting.


They will need to read a book to the kids each night

And in the morning,

Feed them,

Dress them,
Brush their teeth and
Comb their hair
By 7:30 am.


A test will be given

At the end of the six weeks,

And each father will be required to know

All of the following information:
Each child's
Birthday,
Height, weight,
Shoe size, clothes size,
Doctor's' name,
The child's weight at birth,
Length, time of birth,
And length of labor,
Each child's favorite color,
Middle name,
Favorite snack,
Favorite song,
Favorite drink,
Favorite toy,
Biggest fear,
And what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if...
He still
Has enough energy
To be intimate with his spouse
At a moment's notice.


If the last man does win,
He can play the game over and over and over
Again for the next 18-25 years,
Eventually earning the right
To be called Mother!
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Old 04-29-2010, 06:36 PM
njfl's Avatar
Lifetime Member - Expert
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Southern New Hamps
Posts: 758
OMG I love this. I got so tired when reading what we reakky do. Not too many men would survive this.
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When you don`t know what to do-Walk fast and look worried.
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Old 04-29-2010, 07:04 PM
lisacb's Avatar
Ultimate Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Kansas
Posts: 5,507
I heard this once and thought it was hilarious:

When a man and woman decide to have a baby they have to take a test. If you pass, then you are the mommy, if you fail, you are the daddy and that's how they decide which is which!

Lisa
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"It's not having what you want,
It's wanting what you've got"
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Old 04-30-2010, 12:27 AM
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Long Island New York
Posts: 7,346
Wink

This was way tooooooooo funny and soooooooooo true I always believe that a man will work from sun to sun but a womens work is never done .I also firmly believe that being a sahm all day with little ones is the hardest hardest job in the world. Again thanks for sharing. Peace. Catherine
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