It's my belief that we were put in this world to form meaningful relationships with other people and to enjoy the bounty that God gave us i.e. nature, animals, etc.

I don't believe we were put here to slog our lives away to make money basically for other people (most of us are working hard to make other people rich). Working 40 hours a week takes us away from our families and our homes and all that is dear to us. Most people do not have jobs that fulfill them but rather to pay the bills necessary for survival. I don't want to poop and sleep outside and I like having food.

Right now I am frustrated as my Aunt just died and I can't go to the services.

I wonder if the day will ever come in this or perhaps a more screwed up economy/world when I will be able to just relax and enjoy the company of the people I love or will we all die before that?

Every time someone dies I feel this way very strongly however I always feel like most of us are drones working to make the rich even richer while we struggle to get along. Every time there is a bit of money that is above and beyond what is needed something happens to take it away.

What does it all mean? Why? Were we put here on Earth just to be tools for a small percentage of the elite? My life is not miserable by any means especially compared to some however it would be nice to not have to always pinch pennies and to be able to go somewhere and enjoy the USA at the very least and to spend time with loved ones.

It seems backwards to me that the executives at the top of companies make the most money. They are not the important ones who keep the company going and many of them are only where they are because they were born into it. If there a hotel who is more important? The room attendants and customer service or the CEO? If the CEO walks off the job the company keeps going but if every room attendant and customer service walks off then there is nothing. Is that not a sign of who is more important?

Thanks for letting me vent I am down right now and just wish that things would be a little more equitable. Why should a small percentage of the population hold most of the wealth and power, especially when they are not the ones who do the hard or dirty work and often not even in the top intelligence?

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

Oh my goodness....I have been feeling the same way to an extent. I read the magazines put out by the company I work for and they talk about team work and how everyone working together makes the company work. I agree. But they are making their money on the backs on minimum wage workers. Not cool, but that is just how it is. I am in a position, for the most part, where if they told me I couldn't have time off for a funeral, I would just quit, some things are just too important, but there are others who work there who do not have that luxury. Team work....right. We are on the same wave length on this one.

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Melissa

Anna I feel for you and again so dearly sorry about your aunt may God rest her soul. As fas some people having way toooooooo much money and others just barely getting by, there are so many issues I could discuss about this. However the one true problem I have is that I totally believe some of these sports players earn way way way toooooo much money no one has that much talent to get the salaries they do it is ridicious and will always be againist that on all levels. Feel better hon and vent away that is why we are here. Peace. Catherine

My condelences on the loss of your aunt Anna. Please try and do something in her honor ...

I fully understand not being able to attend something because of the financial havoc it would cause. I could easily get the day off for a such a need, but I couldn't go anywhere. It's been years since I've been able to "pay myself" (y'know, savings). Instead, I've spent those years cutting anything and everything (except internet) to cover the increasing costs of anything and everything out of my control (and internet has not increased, yay!). With every cut I make, two things seem to increase (or my pay gets cut, hello furlough days). I know it's that way for everyone around me, too, friends, neighbors, family members. It is frustrating. It does seem unfair.

I was just pondering this the other day. Don't get me wrong, I am very luck because I LOVE my career and I always say most of the time, I don't even see it as a job, but I still have to be there.

The thing is, even though I make good money, there is never enough for anything extra and it does not seem fair. I am off of school(work) for the summer, but I am attending several workshops, because I need the money. I am cutting my summer 3 weeks short to teach a reading program the end of July for half days, because I need the money.

I just want to go have fun sometimes without $$$$ worries! Sorry, I don't have any answers, but you are not alone.

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"When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream."

John Lennon

Anna,
I am very sorry about your loss! I do not understand companies mentalities on stuff like that. I know my DH's company will only give funeral time off to immediate family (my parents, his parents, a sibling or a child). We had to paid vacation days or days unpaid for my grandparents and his grandpa's funeral Family isn't valued anymore. They just past a law here (not sure if it's national or just our state) where a person can take up to so many hours a year unpaid to got to things like graduations and parent teacher conferences for their children. The employers put up a BIG stink. I guess I understand if your whole staff wants to take the same day/hours off and then you are out of business but it's still not right.

I told myself I was not content being a "worker bee" working a bit for me and a lot for someone else. That's why I am self employed but being self employed is NOT all wine and roses but at least I am in control of what I do. That's works better for me in the end

You will be in my thoughts. Perhaps take an evening once you are off work and go sit somewhere quiet outdoors and "talk" to your aunt. Tell her your frustrations and how much she meant to you.

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

Aunts have never been considered immediate family for paid bereavement. Maybe it's possible you can take time off without pay if it's that important to you? That is what I would do.

As for life, you are in control of your own destiny. Each of us is. People talk about money, and yet for the most part, they've put themselves in the position they are in. For instance, no one made you (generally speaking) buy the house you couldn't afford, 1 or 2 new cars, dump $300 at Walmart and realize later you really got nothing, $175 for an outfit you didn't really need, etc.


Many people continue to cry foul when their priorities are not conducive to what they want or need. However, they don't realize it's themselves who don't have their priorities in order.

dl

A lot of people can't afford to take off with no pay.

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"When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream."

John Lennon

I totally agree. I, myself, have two nieces in their 30's with kids who CONSTANTLY complain about how they "never catch a break, never have any money", whine, whine, whine, yet they are at Wal-Mart two or three times a week buying CRAP that they don't need and that will fall apart in no time

It is my opinion that the single category of goods that people buy too much of is clothes. People go to Wal-Mart and "pick up" a $15 top that they don't need just because it's "cute".

Most adults have "enough" clothes right now to last them for a long time because adult clothes rarely "wear out".

Now kids' clothes are a little different because they do wear out and kids do outgrow them.

In a word~
Choices.

I'm sorry you are having a hard time right now.
Look back at some of the choices you've made and make different ones next time.
The results will be different.
Success is based on a pattern of making better choices and changing the pattern when the results aren't taking you where you want to be.

ps.. I think you're moving in the right direction if your tag line indicates you are using faith as one way to succeed. I was worried about you back in Oct when you wanted to be a Sex phone operator.

Hang in there,
X

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Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Really? Some people do not have the option of choices. I am not really complaining, because I have it pretty good, but I sure see how some people just don't get a fair break and it sometimes is not from lack of trying.

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"When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream."

John Lennon

I said "if" it's possible for her to take off. No one knows that but the op.

exhausted1 put it spot on. It is all about choices. Yes, "some" do not have the option of ALL choices, but for people posting here who have the means and intellect to communicate, be aware, etc THEY do have choices.

It typically IS from lack of trying. All of their energy is invested in playing the sympathy or woe is me card. Many times they don't see it and can't have it pointed out, they direct it to another self perceived problem.

No one is guaranteed a fair break, you have to do something (many things) to help yourself. I am watching "America the story of US" series on the History Channel. Several times I've thought about the choices those folks made, the chances they took, and where we, as a country, are today. Currently, many don't want to work for anything, they just want to stick their hand out and have it filled. That mentality is more rampant than I'd care to see, and yes, I see it for myself.

So as far as people not getting a fair break, I disagree.

dl

~~wonders what made some people so mean and bitter~~

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"When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream."

John Lennon

I also agree with this statement: life is not fair

and I have to politely disagree with this statement made by ya'll.

You have the power to impact other people just by being a human being.

I don't know the exact quote and when I googled it several variations came up but consider it's meaning not the exact phrase itself.

Edison referenced the fact that he didn't FAIL, he simply found 586 ways "not" to make a storage battery or light bulb or something he invented.

If he had stopped at try number 67 and said "whoa is me, I don't have the right equipment, I can't find a sponsor, I've already put in 80 plus hours in the lab this week".....(you get the picture) and STOPPED. QUIT. GAVE UP. Fell down one more time than he got back up. Where would we be now?

Successful people have a mentality that drives success. I think the "life's unfair" mentality is a polar opposite of it.

JMHO,
X

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Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

"Choices" is the key to a lot of things. What I am talking about are choices like this: (and this is purely hypothetical) Let's say someone finds out they have some disease and they will die soon (or their parent, sibling, mate, or child has the disease). Their choice is to either just quit their job to spend time with loved ones and to do things important to them, often thus losing everything they've worked for their entire life or leaving their wife/husband in a desperate situation after they are gone OR to keep working and lose that precious time that they will never get back.
There are plenty of people (I consider myself one of them) who make very good financial decisions. I don't spend money I don't have, only using the credit card for emergencies (car repairs, a new roof, vet emergencies, etc) I haven't bought new clothes in over a year. I have bought some purses but only on craigslist the most expensive being a $400 purse that I bought for $60 and I consider an investment.
I sell or try to sell everything I have that I don't need or use.
I could go to my Aunt's funeral however it would put us in a precarious situation when it comes to next month's bills.
We are not extravagant by any means. We don't eat out anymore (I earned over twice as much on my last job on a monthly basis than I do now).
I have taken on a second job at my work and I am applying for a third job at a place that one of my friends works for providing care for people on a flexible basis so that means no days off for me.
One thing that really bothers me is that the decisions that really affect me were made when I was very young. I could have gone to college right out of high school. I am intelligent and I was offered many opportunities (with different branches of government as well as with private corporations) however due to my youth, ignorance on life and lack of perspective on how my decisions would affect my future I made stupid choices. One of them was moving this far from my family. Now I am here with my job my home and my husband and it would be near impossible to move back. So in essence a lot of my "punishment in life" is due to those youthful decisions thus making me feel "punished for life" for things I did when I did not the good sense to make the right choices.
Once again I am far from miserable. I like my job and I have it better than a lot of people but God did not put us here to waste our lives doing meaningless things he put us here to spend time with people who matter to us.

Thanks to all of you for your condolences and your understanding. It makes me feel a lot better that I'm not the only one who feels this way.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

If per chance, you are again referring to me, without outright doing so, we've been over this before. Just because someone disagrees with you doesn't make them mean and bitter.

There isn't anything wrong with people getting into reality and doing for themselves ! That is actually the American way - to succeed on your own. The do-good, take care of everyone thinking hasn't and isn't working.

Shouldn't you be in school today ?

dl

Then tell me what the future is for my student that has brain damage from dehydration when he was left in a car. I guess he better just get out there and hustle. Sorry, but that is NOT FAIR and he did not ask for it, could not have prevented it, and can't change it! Just an example, but everyone that has been dealt crap did not create it and many can't always change it.

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"When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream."

John Lennon

I never have to say it.,.,..you are a very bitter person and it shows. I just wonder why. I am out of school(work) for summer, as I already stated. It's called summer vacation, but thanks for asking..??

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"When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream."

John Lennon

gg - no one is talking about a child (1 out of however many you have since you choose to ignore the others for what is generally being discussed here) who perhaps doesn't have the motor or physical skills to be on his/her own. You just do not get it.

We are talking about able bodied people, able to think on their own. You just don't get it. We are talking about people who can and should be responsible for their actions landing them in a less than desirable place or situation as life goes along.

I am glad you are out to enjoy Memorial Day, although last year it didin't mean much to you and you didn't see any reason for the children you are supposedly educating to learn or respect the day and what the true meaning is.

sl

I hope you know even I feel this way sometimes too. I think it's referred to as Monday Morning Quarterbacking. I look back and think, man, I could have done this different and I wouldn't be sitting where I'm sitting.

I'd like to offer some encouragement though. If you ever decide to refocus your energy on one job instead of three. Consider the fact that many companies have something called Tuition Reimbursement as a job perk they give employees. (yes, even the mail room (entry level) people are eligible). Your choice in that situation would be the choice of how much time you could dedicate to taking classes after work. Sneak in some of the summer courses Colleges offer and only take 12 weeks for the credit needed instead of a full two semester, 9 month school year course. You can do it.

Find a mentor, find someone who has done it before and ask them how.
You can do it!

Read that story about the dude that started with a paperclip and traded his way on Craigslist into a house....It took time but he had a dream.

I read stories about people who overcame unbelievable childhoods and went on to do such great things.

Groovy, I can't explain why bad things happen, but as a part of my faith I believe God has a purpose for every living being. I don't expect him to "get out there and hustle". As a society we should take care of his needs and provide him with the best quality of life we can.

Again, reemphasizing the need for good/better choices.
Like Anna, her choice to "invest" in a purse for a rainy day later on, means she has a choice to make when the proverbial rainy day arrives. Does she need a purse or an umbrella? She will choose.

X

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Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

That child will be an adult one day and he, like many others will be the victim of people like you saying he should get over it and make life the way he wants it. His is extreme, but MY point is that you , miss high and mighty, do not know the situations of all that struggle.

I am out for summer break, not Memorial Day, and last year was.....well, last year. A friggin year ago and you, bitter that you are, STILL harp on it. Do you have nothing else in your life?

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"When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream."

John Lennon

Most people are capable of seeing shades of gray. Not everything is black or white. Your example is a shade of gray. Anyone with any sense knows that!

I've been on the receiving end of dl's feistiness....I don't see her/him as bitter or angry. I see him/her as just really blunt and too the point. And I presume that he/she does NOT sugar-coat anything; here or in their personal life.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

That is the beauty of life. We all see things in a different way. I do see her as a very bitter person. Just something I pick up on, especially when she is still trying to fight about stuff from a year ago. People that can't ever let things go, in my eyes, are very bitter and unhappy. I respect your opinion, though girl!

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"When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream."

John Lennon

I have a degree and there is nothing I want to go to school for. One of our issues is the several hundred dollars a month is costs my husband to drive to work-a one hour drive each way and there is nothing we can do about that.
As far as having a "better" (translates to more lucrative) job that is a wonderful idea--in theory. These days you can't pick and choose your jobs even doctors are getting screwed due to the times we are in. These days a person is lucky to have whatever job they have. Also if it came down to it my job provides a valuable contribution to society and families so I guess I would rather be not rich than do a job that I don't like and that I feel takes from rather than contributes to society.
Starting a business costs money--inventory, insurance, etc or I'd have my own.
As far as the purse I could be wrong but I get the feeling you are insinuating that my choice to purchase a purse is the cause of my "troubles" or it implies I make bad choices both are far from the truth.
We live basically pretty frugally and I am extremely innovative and ingenious at making the most out of nothing.

And my point in this thread is to say that it's a horrible decision to have to choose between being destitute and homeless over spending time with loved ones whose time on earth is limited.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

I got your point, Anna and I totally agree with you.

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"When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream."

John Lennon

and we have our elderly having to choose between food and medicine.
We have parents having to choose whether to buy the kids a new pair of shoes, or send them to school in completely falling apart shoes---or paying a bill.

It's not a perfect world.
And sometimes that imperfect world makes me sad and appalled.
But, it's the only world we have. And hopefully, we can make the best of a (bad) situation and no one ends up too terrible hurt.

I do get what you're saying, I do.
I just know that if you (the general you) dwell on it, you will drive yourself insane!

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

You're right Marilyn. The only time I dwell on it is when I lose someone I love. The rest of the time I generally spend dwelling on what's right and good about my life and the world.

Right now I am very sad as my father's sister was like a second mother to me and I am going to miss her very much.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

Here is my 2 cents worth I personally do not have to worry about money. I know I said I never would discuss finances and so that is the end of that. With that in mind this is how I view life, I would rather have some money and also have my health and my family to live forever because all the money in world will not save you, yes it can make things easier but in the end if you are going to get sick and die you will die. I love my coupons and garage sales and the goodwill stores and the clearence racks would not trade them for the world. I love love old stuff the older the better. It does make me upset that some people have billions of dollars yet some cannot scrap 2 cents together life is very unfair. However I also believe if you truly want money and need money you will do any job to get that money. It sort of reminds me of my grandmother who was widowed new to this country and 6 small children she worked 3 jobs barely speaking english yet she learned and she put food on the table for my mom and her 5 siblings. I also believe there are people who feel jealous and think the money should just fall into their hands and let their parents continue to support them. I also feel people abuse the welfare system when there are so many people who truly need the money. As I stated before I would 100 percent live in tent to have my health my families health and have them live forever so we can be together and also to have my brother Sonny back. As Marilyn said there is plenty of black and white and we all could go on and on. Feel better Anna.. Peace to all. Catherine

this world and the way it is................hmmmmm..........all I know is that when I get back to wherever it is I came from, I am demanding a refund. This trip to Earth is not the greatest place it was advertised to be......................LOL just trying to lighten up and smile.
Realistically, things are sometimes just so darn hard and definitely not fair.

I agree that life can be hard and unfair at times. I always try to remind myself what the most important things in life are. For me, it is my health and a good relationship with my family (especially my kids). There are times when I look around and see very nice homes and expensive cars and think what would it be like to live in that home or drive a car like that. My conclusion is maybe it would be fun for awhile, but the illusion or fantasy for me would wear off, and I just wouldn't care since that sort of thing is really not the most important thing for me.

Anna, it seems obvious that the most important things to you are family. I know firsthand what it is like to live apart from family, as we have been forced to do this because of work. My mother and MIL passed away a few yrs ago years ago, and there are times that I feel resentful that I didn't get to spend more time with them, but because we lived in a different state, it was not possible. It really stinks and you can't put a price on time you spend with loved ones. I know exactly where you are coming from, and I wish that I had the answer, but I don't. Just keep moving along, and have faith that things will get better.

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Thank you Crittles.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

Anna I am so sorry for your loss.

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

Thank you.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.