The other thread about gift bags got me thinking.....about the presentation of a gift, and the Thank you for the gift.

Do you think it is laziness, uncaring, a sign of the times??? that people just throw a gift in a bag, or send out mass produced Thank YOu notes???

I could see many sides to this, myself. I recently sent a wedding gift to a couple getting married. After reading about the "mass produced"/no personal writing, Thank you notes some have gotten, I wonder what I will receive. Interesting.

Personally, I just prefer the "olden days" when people went the extra mile when giving a gift and when showing gratitude for the gift. I try to instill this in my children. I think it's important. Some people do not.

What is your opinion?

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

At the risk of my fan club pooing in your thread..........You are pretty much asking what I did.

I think there is a definite shift in our social mindset and our behaviour. The gift card thing too, is rather like why bother? The stores win because #1 people are locked into that store, and #2 the slippage from lost, stolen, or non-redeemed gift cards is a win-win situation for the stores. It would be just as easy to write a check or give cash. (or not do anything if it so bothers you)

Personally, I enjoy giving much more than getting. Maybe that's why when I saw the pile of BBB bags and boxes on the grand piano like a sea of "did any one really care?" I started to wonder. I don't think it's that hard to match the paper or bag to the occasion. I think some of it goes back to one of my least favorite words that is so very much over used and that is "busy". Everyone wants to tell everyone else how busy they are when in reality, they aren't THAT busy all the time.

I think that any couple who can make the effort to send "save the date" notes and can register at 1, 2, or more stores for their loot can surely write thank you notes.

I agree with you about taking pride in what we do, how we do it, and who we do it for. It was obivously instilled in me, whether people want to trash me for that or not. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being responsible and having pride. To any lesser extent, that is where society has problems.

I will look foward to the responses you get because thse are, indeed, interesting subjects.

dl

Maybe I'm out of the loop, but it is now the norm to send out computer-generated thank you notes as opposed to a small, personal hand-written note? I would much rather receive a note with the personal touch of a written sentence or two. In my opinion, Lazy and Impersonal.

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Aia while I do not mind like I said really nice bags but grocery bags that is tacky. I was truly thinking about what you were thinking about , which is going back to the old days. I think about this all the time, honestly and this is all my personal views on the subject. We mostly all live in very fast paced liftstyle and while we have come so far with modern technology, I honestly feel its for the worst. I mean I grateful of course for medical technology and the computer and the cell phones. But I am talking about going further then that, we never get to speak to a real person on the phone, or better yet, the same questions can be answered if you log onto our website, No I would prefer to speak to a real person. With the cell phone I truly have the oldest phone no special features and only use it for my children, my husband, my parents and the rest can wait, texting I would not know where to start with that feature lol. I do feel like you do and miss the old days we did not have all the gadgets and stuff when we were younger and we all survived well. I personally am truly friendly to all I know and meet especially in my town and where I work we are a small community and I know so many people and they all know I am Catherine. I always say thank you and please and peace and sincerely wish more people would . I have always said this, without my health and the love of my family all the money in the world would be nothing. We just live in a very complicated world. For us personally my husbands family business is here in New York and while we live on Long Island which is like the country I would move to Connecticut on a farm and live in a old old old house super fast. And please do not let me even start with the attitude and mouths of our teenagers and the way they talk and total disrespect they have towards each other and their elders. It is alot to think about and I think about it all the time. Life is a wonderful gift, yet so many people are running with so many outdoor activities with their children it is too much. Literally I could live on Little House on the Prairie, while I know it must have been hard, deep down inside it was all real and real family kind caring times... Peace to all. Catherine

I think "we" as a whole are getting so far far away from "personal touches". So much has become impersonal, and I notice more and more people are becoming passive or accepting of it. It's sad, really. We get farther and farther way from "humanity" every year.

Sense - being not so common - is following humanity out the door at an alarming rate.

When I had my wedding (or any party) , I wouldn't have thought one second of not sending a personalized note in the Thank You card. Even if I said something like "Thank you for the gift of money, we appreciate it very much. We were so happy to see you at our wedding". I don't understand doing less.

If a person having an event - wedding shower, party, baby shower, etc. - has SO many guests that "they can't possibly thank them all personally" - then maybe they have invited too many people. If a guest can spend time and money finding a gift for said event, spend time getting ready for said event, spend time traveling to and from said event, spend time at said event - then I think the host(ess) can spend time writing simple Thank You notes. Period. If it's too overwhelming of a task, don't invite more people than you're willing to spend time thanking. Cut down on the greed.

I'm not really amazed any more at the lack of kindness, thoughtfulness, personal touches, etc. I used to be. It's still incredibly sad in my opinion and it DOES get worse every year.

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Personally, if I receive a Thank You card at all for a wedding for graduation gift, I feel lucky...even if the only handwritten thing is their name. Sad but true. I think the art of "good manners" all around is lost anymore. Many of the people I know my age (30's to 40's) do not have good manners so how can we expect their kids to have them? I don't think a lot of the boomer parents out there did not pass along the lesson of good manners to their children. No offense to those that did but I believe many did not. My kids always say "please and thank you". I get comments all the time at school that they are of a select few who do. THAT is tragic...it should be the norm, not the exception. Same goes for gift presentation or thank you's. When was the last time you got an RSVP when you asked for one? Hardly ever. There isn't any "etiquette" anymore I'm not sure it's going to get any better either. Heck, if I got a thank you via email or Facebook I would be happy. At least it's a thank you. I can't think less of a person who doesn't send a Thank you or RSVP when I KNOW they weren't taught it as proper to do so. It's not their fault they weren't taught manners. Just my 2 cents

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

My nephew passed away a year ago. Over 1500 people attended his wake.His mother sent a hand written thank you to every one of them. I did take her a few months tough.

I organized a fundraiser in May and I sent hand written Thank You cards to everyone who donated something for the raffle or auction, and to some people who won the auctions. I would have sent cards to everyone who bought raffle tickets too if they had left their names and addresses.
I had so many people get in touch with me after they got the thank you card saying thanks!
Anyway I think a hand written card is more personal and means more than a email generated message.

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Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking

My dear sister in law Corinne has been battling breast cancer I have called her so many times and have handwritten letters and have sent so many cards it only takes moments to write a card. We should go back to the way things were simplier and more kind however I honestly do not feel that will happen sadly. Loved reading all the threads peace to all. Catherine

To not send a Thank You to someone who gave a gift is rude in my opinion. Whether you receive it in person or by mail it does only take a moment to send a card or note.
As far as mass produced ones they are better than nothing but a bit lazy again that's just my opinion.
As for sending gift cards as a gift I don't see anything wrong with that. Many people would rather pick something out themselves rather than receiving some gift they have no use for or don't like at all. I love it when I get a GC and I have given many of them. Also if a person is a smart shopper they can get so much more for the amount than the purchaser might have gotten.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.

I understand what you are saying, but wanted to mention something that is at least true where I am from....

Here, people never host their OWN gift-giving event. Ever. If a baby shower occurred, it would be the friends or church members of the honoree hosting it and inviting other friends/church members, etc. I had no control over how many people came to my baby shower - the hostesses did, and they invited a boatload of people. It was very nice, and I sent thank yous to everyone, but how much time I had to do so bore no relationship to the number of people that attended the shower.

When we got married, the church hosted a bridal shower for me as they did for every bride. *I* didn't invite anyone.

The hostesses of both showers did contact me and ask if there was anyone that I knew of that would want to be included that might not be on their list of people to think to ask. Otherwise.... the guest list was all theirs.

Where I'm from, it would be considered tacky to host a party for yourself or a close relative and want people to come give you stuff. The exception to that is birthday parties - people throw those for their children and for adults on the 'biggies' (40, 50, etc).

Very true - but then the person that organized can help send notes, or the maid of honor, mother - SOMEone can help.

Every shower or party I've been to, there is someone recording in some way who gave the "party-ee" what gift.

A whole volume or even a big paragraph isn't necessary to express nice thanks. Just something simple like a short couple of sentences acknowledging their gift and time spent with you. That's all.

That's part of what makes these "generic" thank you's so crappy. If a person can spend time/money/effort on someone, that someone can spend a little back - even if they get help. No excuses on this one, at least in my book.

My poor sweet Grandma - who just turned 93 - is so distressed because SHE can't send out all the thank-you's for her birthday. She even bought adorable cards. Now, these are for people that just CAME to the party, not that necessarily bought her anything - AND it's just her immediate family! But she believes in thanking people and making sure they feel acknowledged. Bless her heart - It's that kind of caring and thoughtfulness that's damn near non-existent any more.

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Sign of the times? People think they are busy. Yes, everyone is busy. Are people busier now than in the past? No, I don't think so, I think people like to think they are busier and like to whine around that they are so busy, but I think we are just a bit spoiled and a bit lazier than we used to be.

For me I am a different type of busy. In the 80's I worked a full time job and a part time job and I was a single parent with 2 kids, so I yes I was busy. Now, I have one child left at home, two adult children (not at home), 3 grandchildren (2 that live in the area), I only work a part time job, I run our local Food Bank, I am the Youth Director at my church (both volunteer positions), I attend mutiple sporting events and practices every week and I am married and I am a member of 2 civic organizations. I also sell Avon on the side. So I am still busy, but I am not away from my home and my family as much as I was when I was working a full time and part time job, so it is a different type of busy.

Plus we have alot more convenience items to help us out. I can remember having to cook when there were no microwaves to heat up something real quick when you're on the go for a fast meal. PopTarts were a "luxury" item lol. When you wanted a cup of hot tea real quick you had to boil the water on the stove and wait.

People also didn't eat fast food and eat at restaurants the way they do now, they cooked meals and ate at home. Eating at McDonald's was a treat that happened maybe once a month and the burgers were 5 for $1.00 way back then.

Anyway, getting off track here. Back to the thank you note thing, I think if you invited (in the case of a wedding) or if someone threw you a shower (they probably got a guest list from you) unless it was a surprise, then thank you notes for gifts should be sent. I personally would not care if they were the picture type, computer generated, hand written or whatever as long as there was a thank you involved. If it was me receiving the gift, if someone took the time and the money and the effort to pick out, wrap the gift and come to the event the least I could do is give them a thank you note.

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Manners are a thing of the past! Entitlement is the now! Kids have been getting getting getting presents since they were babies at every occasion there is. They think nothing of getting a gift for a wedding...to them it is nothing special. Just add it to the list of occasions that you give a gift to them(that they are entitled to). I think it's just the spoiled rotten brats that people are raising these days. Taught ZERO manners and expect everything handed to them on a silver platter. That's my 2 cents!