Just found out yesterday from my mom that her doctor told her she has the starting of emphysema. She does not want to tell my dad because he is always on her case about the smoking and the money it costs to buy the cigarettes. In addition to that my mom has been battling bladder cancer actutally for the last 3 years. Her cancer doctor told her that the tumors keep coming back because of the smoking. However this time when she went for her last check-up he found multiples on her bladder. Also this time he told her since he has gone into that area so many times there is a chance he may not be able to save her bladder and she would have to be fitted with a bag. Her surgery in this coming monday this will be her 6th operation. My mom quit smoking almost 21 years ago when my son Thomas was born with his bad heart as I told her there will be no smoking around the baby. She was smoking since she was 12 and for 11 years it was wonderful. In 1999 when she felt down the steps in her hallway she broke her leg left really bad in 3 places, she was very depressed and then being in the wheel chair got to her, then one month lately out of the blue my dear mother in law Rose passed away from a sudden heart attack. They were very close and my mom took her death really bad. She asked one of my brothers for a cigarette and it started very slow here and there. Then from 2000 to 2006 she lost all her brother in laws and her 4 sisters and of course 5-4-02 my brother passed away, with his death and sickness she really picked up the smoking she is smoking more now then ever. Just came here to discuss and vent and which she would stop. She has tried but the patch and the pills make her heart race which she is already on medicine for. I personally feel the only way is to do it the way she did in 1988 just quit cold turkey however she feels its too late and she cannot do it after all this. So any advice or help I am open to it all kindly say a few prayers for my mom Anna. Peace and blessings to all. Catherine

I have no advice. My mom won't quit either. She has an aneurysm and was told to stop smoking because it can contribute to it getting bigger and needing to be operated on. She says she has lived a long life (she's 67) so she doesn't want to quit. She actually enjoys smoking. I can't figure her out. I try not to worry, but it's not always easy.
I will keep your mom in my prayers.
Judy

I have no advice either. I will keep your mom and the rest of your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Maryann

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

No advice here, either. My Mom did finally quit cold turkey on my b'day 2006. She was admitted to the hospital that day because of awful headaches from the nicotine w/drawal. They did a chest X-ray and found a spot on her lung. Nov. 29th she had partial lung removal, cancerous, of course. I always remember her saying "you have to die of something" when I would tell her she is going to die from the cigarettes. She passed away this past March......I think I'm a little angry about it, too. I think people that smoke (or do any activity that could cause their death) are a bit selfish. The ones that smoke around children, IMO, are the worst. The children have no choice in it.

Sorry to get off on a tangent....what I really meant to say is that it is ultimately your Mom's decision, even tho others have to live the consequences of her actions. Just let her know how much you love her, no matter what.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

Aia I totally agree with all you said and so sorry to hear about your mom I know all too well the feelings. Have grown up around my mom who smoked and all her sisters everyone smoked. For me being a person who never smoked a single cigarette it is very hard to understand and my mom has the same feelings I am old its too late I have no reason to live I have heard it all. However I know she has done this to herself but of course I love my mom and always remind her you quit for 11 years but going back 21 years ago life was different then, perhaps if my brother was alive and she had some of her family she dearly misses her sisters they were 5 sisters and one brother btw he passed away from lung cancer at 44 years old in 1977 from smoking yet all the sisters continued. Again thanks to everyone . Peace to all. Catherine

No advise but good thoughts headed your way! My dad smoked for over 30 years. My mom wouldn't let him smoke in the house or in the car...only outside. He finally quit by taking Zyban (a prescription drug) about 12 years ago. I was preggo and my dad, aunt, uncle and cousin all went on it at the same time to quit. They are all still non smokers. I don't know if zyban is still available or not

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Proud to say I haven't shopped at a Wal-Mart since Sept 2003

So sorry to hear about your mom and her health. I kind of feel sorry for those that become so addicted to nicotine that they would rather die than quit smoking. They truly become a slave to their addiction. Doesn't sound like very much fun to me. I can understand older people who started smoking when they were not educated about the dangers, but when I see young people light up, I just want to slap them. You poor mom just may think along the lines that she will perish one day, so why not do what she likes. I'm sure it's difficult to sit and watch her make her condition worse. Maybe you could talk her into a limit of so many cigarettes a day. She might agree to start with that at least.

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

My mother smoked since she was 11 or 12. She was up to 3 1/2 packs a day. She developed a tumor on the back of her throat which was cancerous. They said she needed to quit smoking, but she wouldn't. She gave up eating much before that, I think because she was depressed. A doc wanted her to take antidepressants, but she wouldn't, said she wasn't depressed. She took radiation which shrunk it to almost nothing and they were going to remove what was left if she would quit and then give chemo. She wouldn't and it grew back to the same size it was within 3 weeks. She also needed a feeding tube when she stopped eating and I was the one who did the tube and the pain patches. While I would stand over her to do the tube, she wouldn't stop smoking-she would just let it blow up my nose, as she couldn't quit that long. Talking didn't do any good. She set her things on fire by falling asleep with a cig in her hand. She also had cirrosis of the liver because she was an alcoholic. I was raised by my grandmother from practically the day I was born . I couldn't talk to her about this or anything else. She passed away about 3 years ago and her death cert. said cancer from smoking and secondary cirrosis.

I hope things turn out for you much better. It is so addictive. People have to want to stop. You can't make them. I feel for you for what you are going through.

Well a bit of update here I went over to visit my parents. She told me today she is scared and after her surgery set for monday for the tumors on her bladder, she said she is going to try a different patch this time, because the last patches made her heart race really fast which is already takes meds for . So kindly say a prayer and cross your fingers that first she comes out of the surgery okay and that they do not have to remove her bladder and that when she puts the patch on it will work for her to stop smoking so that those tumors do not come back and all that it can slow down the advancement of the emphysema. Thanks again for everyones concern I deeply appreciate it all. Peace to all. Catherine

Catherine
How did your mother's surgery go? Praying for a speedy recovery for her.

Maryann

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

Thanks everyone here is the update mom came through the surgery no problems just some pain and uncomfortable she has to wear the catherer for 2 days till she urinates without any blood, but they were able to save her bladder thanks to God. And in a few days they are going to try a new patch for her to wear so I truly hope she can quit the cigarettes as with the emphysema it will kill her and it will cause the tumors to come back. I sincerely appreciate all your kind words god Bless you all. peace. Catherine