My DD who is 11, recently went to Florida with my adult nephew (31) and his daughter (9). They went to stay at my sisters house. It was not a big deal becuase my DD has been there a million times and loves it..
Well I found out that one night while they were there, the two girls were initially going to stay in a hotel room alone, in orlando, while the adults (my sis, her husband, nephew and his girlfriend) went to the bar. Not sure if this happened or not however once I blew a gasket about it I was then told that they took the girls to swim in the pool and the adults went to the bar and watched them.

THEN, when the girls came home they said that they had to keep a secret that my nephew got married while they were down there. (there is some bad blood between my nephew and myself. He ended a 10 year realtionship and I ahve remained friends with the lady. She is the mother of my great neice for gods sake and I love her to death. He and his sister will NOT Forgive me for remaining friends with her and barely speak to me) His daughter and mine are VERY close so I didnt think the trip would be a big deal)
When my daughter told me she said, "We were not supposed to tell you but... got married." I said Why were you not allowed to tell me? And she just said "because"
Well my sister has always been known for playing games and hiding things from people. She lives in the past and loves drama. However I was a little bothered over the fact that she told the girls not to tell their mothers.... I also thought that it was pretty sad that the mother of my 9 year old great neice was not given a second thought. They are doing a wonderful job co parenting and when the girls mom moved in with her boyfriend, she sat down and talked about it with my nephew so there were no hard feelings...
I just really really do not like children being put in the place that these two were put in...
Am I wrong????

__________________
Be careful what you wish for.....

You're feelings are justified.
However, I don't think there's anything you can or should do. Unless you just want to stir up more trouble/grief/animosity within your family unit

__________________
Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

She told you...so is the problem that she was told not to tell? You could let it be known that she did tell you because you TAUGHT her NEVER to keep a secret from her mother.....for her own safety.

__________________
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

E. Roosevelt

I would be really thankful that your daughter shared her "secret" with you. It was absolutely wrong of them to ask the children to keep secrets. Very wrong. I would also think twice before sending my daughter off to spend time alone with these people, family or not. Just the fact that they asked the girls to keep a secret leads me to believe that they do not have the children's best interest at heart, so what else would they be capable of...? Other than that, I would do nothing, what they did is on them.

__________________
Melissa

NO, I don't think that you are wrong to not want the children placed in the middle. I would probably keep this "knowledge" to myself, tho. You state in your post that you have "issues" (not your exact words) with your sister and nephew, so I can't understand why you even let your DD go on a trip with them to begin with. That is not the issue you wanted addressed tho, so I guess I'll leave it at that.

__________________
Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

What would I do?

Lets see I would probably bury the hatchet with my nephew -- you might love his ex lady friend to pieces, but THIS is YOUR Nephew -- there is so much bad blood between you that he got married and didn't even want you to know - very sad. Bright spot is he cared enough about your dd to want her there. Be glad she told you, be sad that he didn't want you to know, explain to your dd that she was right to tell you, talk to your Nephew ... that's what I'd do.

I agree kids shouldn't have been put in the middle but I wouldn't make an issue about the wedding at this point, your dd did the right thing and told you. It's possible that since your nephew didn't (have the guts to?) tell his own ex about the wedding beforehand, maybe they thought you would spill the beans to her.

Really I would be more concerned about someone lying about watching my dd, if it were me. You said you don't know if that happened or not, or if they left her alone.

So what I would do first - I would ask my dd if they were left alone in the hotel room and told to keep that a secret. That's a dealbreaker for me. The wedding thing, I could overlook, and would try to make up with the nephew. But if they pretend to watch the kids and leave them alone, and lie about it, well, I couldn't trust them enough to take her on trips.