Some men have no business being a father!

What kind of man allows a woman to shove/push said man's 12 y/o hard enough to knock a TV off the stand?
What kind of man allows same woman to call his children the "N" word?
What kind of man would allow same woman to put his 10 and 12 y/o children onto a bus for a 4-6 hour trip home? (with a suitcase full of wet clothes because she got angry and the kids "had" to go home right then!)

So very angry--angry that another woman (who is a mother and a teacher)would treat my children (or any children) the way she has. Angry because the children's father allowed the mistreatment. Angry because I chose badly when I chose to marry the man and have children with said man...

The Ex had the good sense to call me prior to put them on a Greyhound---and has the good sense to NOT tell me any of this. Boyfriend and I went, met Ex, got my children and started home. THEN the children told me what happened. Good thing that I wasn't driving. Good thing that boyfriend was with me.....I do believe I would have snapped had he not been.
As it is, I'm still contemplating driving 4 hours and "explaining" to Ex and this "woman" just how hard I push back. I won't though--I'll get my attorney on it. There will be no more visitation until this is figured out (kids are ok with that...) And if the attorney thinks it is a wise decision, I intend to press charges against her for assault on a minor.

All this after Ex threw a wall-eyed fit to have the kids for Christmas. They didn't want to go. They wanted to go to see my family out-of-state. But, in the interest of trying to get along, and make nice, I changed all of our plans to accommodate the jerk's demands! I even gave him more days than I had with the kids on their vacation.
I have been trying to be the better person and "play nice w/ others" in the interest of the kids. I think I'm done playing nice w/ the schoolyard bullies!

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Marilyn, I am so sorry your children went throught this. Hopefully the courts will see to it that ex and his *woman* will only have supervised visitation for now, if even that. You did the right thing by not going nuts over the situation (although we all would understand if you had). Stay safe.

Are there bruises? Take pictures with time stamps.

I don't know if your visitation is court ordered or if you have an agreement. But, without proof other than your kid's story, I doubt a judge will change visitation orders.

I am glad you were able to go get the kids. Greyhound is the pits and I am surprised they allow kids to travel unescorted.

I hope your 2011 goes better than 2010 ended.

ETA -- out of boredome I looked at Greyhound minor rules. WOW -- I can't imagine sending an 8 year old on a bus! They breakdown all the time. Bus stations are very scary places. YUCK for the poor kid who gets put on a bus that breaks down half way to where they are going. Airplanes are very different IMO

the parenting plan says overnight visitation w/ their father is at my discretion....Thank goodness my attorney put that in place (and the ex agreed to it!)

If he wants overnight visitation---he'll have to take me back to court. (unless the kids decide they want to spend overnight w/ their father).

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

That is great. Good luck in the next few months. Kids, parents, and visitation are a judge's most difficult decisions to make.

Wow I am sorry Marilyn that your children had to go through that. I agree with you that they should not go back until you go through the courts. No women should be putting a hand on your children and shame on him for allowing it.

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SAHM of Bailey 12, Tyler 10 , Emily Ann 6, and Ryan Matthew 4 yrs old.

Oh my gracious. I don't know how you contained yourself. I am so glad you have the visitation in place that you do have!!! Marilyn, I am So sorry......

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Melissa

YES, every right to be angry. Have you met this woman you speak of? If so, what was your impression of her? I know that I would have a hard time sending my kids off to my ex and his girlfriend...4 or 5 hours away. Sounds like your Ex was not as in charge as he should have been. Sorry.

Just curious, what is the "N" word she called your children?

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

called the child THAT "N" word (extremely offensive racial slur)---weird thing is that we are all white.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

My kids used to tell me that their step mom did things too.. Then I found out that they were exagerating a little....

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Be careful what you wish for.....

But, she's not their step mom. She has no business being anything than perfectly well behaved where Marilyn's children are concerned. No correction, no discipline......she's the outsider, period.

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Melissa

She's not their step-mom first of all.
Second of all--the ex admitted to it all.
She was in the hallway, my son was in a bedroom getting yelled out, ex was standing beside son....she told him "raise your hand to me, I dare you"....I know what that means, you know what that means. My son doesn't not know what that means. It's not a phrase he's heard or I've used. So he raised his hand (similar to raising your hand to answer a question in class). She flipped out (per the youngest child who wasn't even involved) charged into the room and shoved my son hard enough to knock a TV off the stand...

She's flipped out with me via email and in the background of telephone conversations. I finally had to block her from my email. And I will not have phone contact w/ the Ex. Everything has to go through my attorney.

Finally--I've dated a couple of men (seriously), and while those men have not lived with me, it doesn't alter the fact that neither of those men ever even considered/consider touching my children in anger. And if they had or if the one does---I'd be all over him so fast it would make his head spin.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

It is none of my business, that being said I would ask my attorney if this behavior should be brought to the attention of the school board for which she works. If she behaves with your children what is she doing to the kids in her class?

I know....

But, I believe---and this is just my opinion: She has an issue w/ MY children. I don't know if she sees them as a threat for their father's attention, or if it's because the one looks like me (and she sees me as a threat--Lord only knows why! I divorced him--wouldn't take him back for all the money in the world!) or because she thinks that I'm trying to turn the children against their father (don't have to--he's done a fine job of that himself!).


I don't know. I just know that there won't any more instances of this kind because the boys are refusing to go to that house again.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

You'd have to have a boatload of proof before you messed with somebody's livlihood...especially a teacher. Glad that Marilyn did not take the suggestion.

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Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

E. Roosevelt

Marilyn,
First, I am sorry that your babies had to experience this and second, you have my undying admiration for not driving across the state to cold slap this babe in the mouth....and then take on your ex as well. I would have. Then I would have regretted it because I always want to take the high road and show my kids that words don't hurt me and only make the person who is being mean look like an idiot and classless. Your kids know what this chick is about and that is what matters.

In any case, I can't imagine how awful you felt as a mother for them to experience that. Heartbreaking, it is. And who puts an 8 year old on a bus? And who lets some relative stranger call their own kids names? Geesh.

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GO NAVY WRESTLING!!BEAT ARMY!!!
RJB 3/18/60 - 5/22/04
We miss you, sweet brother
God Bless the USA!!!!! Praying for my Youngster son at United States Naval Academy, class of 2014!!

http://mylifeundertheabaya.blogspot.com/

oh....I thought horrible things to do to him and her!
I am fortunate to have a very calm, rational, and loving boyfriend who talked some sense in to me. He reminded me that some of the things I wanted to do would have long reaching effects on the boys. He reminded me that I was a better person than she is. He let me rant, rave and cry on his shoulder. Seriously, he is such a genuinely good man. I am a better person because of him.

Plus, I realized that while what happened was "bad"---I still had control of the future, because I don't have to allow the children to go to their Dad's (not that they want to at this point!) I'm still a little angry and upset. But, I'm working on that....

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Usanmom another friendly familar name so glad to see you posting and hope that 2011 is a wonderful year for you...Catherine