Marilyn I was not going to go there, but you have been soooo mean and rude to me over the years over and over, even to the point when you were at a all time low with your personal life and I still came back and said some really heartfelt words to you and for the care of your sons. Yet you still stand there and attack me ro rudely and it is true follows the pack of wolves like she does at the other website, where the same s..... goes on. It the same thing either you are with us and agree with all we say, if not your out and your out big time. Others in the group like here can make mistakes but all is forgiven it is like being back in grammar school where the click of the mean girls all stick together. In the that last post Marilyn you truly proved the vile evil B>>>>>>>> you are. On a final note what is wrong with KJ is there a hidden meaning behind it, it certaintely does not sound like ILL and you plainly know I have been called ILL meaning I am sick over and over in many previous posts, stop playing dumb and stupid, oh wait your suppposed to be one smart know it all woman, your not, again you labeled yourself with the name B>>>>>>>>> and it so fits. I will end here but be rest assured another thread comes up and you cannot wait to get your little fingers on the computer to post away and always againist me. I bet even I said evil things about your ex husband you would still pick on me. You just cannot leave me alone and you have done it a thousands of times........ Again will not take your S............ anymore and to end you are a A$$$$$$$$$ bigtime, hate to lower myself but I have had enough of you and your rudeness and it will not work and each time you come back I will come back you will never get the last word. Now lets truly see who can leave who alone. If you respond then my question was answered and if I enter any comments into another thread my question will be answered again, you will take each and every opportunity to annoy me I swear sometimes you really are a mom????? . Catherine

My mother was well aware that she could transfer the title, but for our family it was not an option. It all boils down to exactly what I have tried to say.....personal responsibility! My mother didn't expect her food, medical care, etc. to be a burden on others. It wasn't my fault, your fault or anyone elses that she had a terrible illness. Others should NOT be expected to pay for her care, as long as she had the ability (could not work, but did have assets). Although it was sad to see our family home sold to try to offset her care...it was what had to be done. What really makes me angry is to see able bodied people make the choice NOT to work, and expect food, shelter and health care for NOTHING!

I totally agree with everything you just wrote Catherine.

Marilyn, I am not a troll. I just do not have the time, the energy, nor the desire to post on this board on a regular basis. I read here from time to time. If I feel like posting, I do. Unlike you, I don't need to keep running my mouth all the time. I prefer to listen or read. The things you said about Catherine and her mental health...well, you are so out of line. I think if you spent more time concerned with yourself and your family, you would find you don't have the time nor the desire to make assumptions about other people on the Internet.

It's all so confusing, isn't it. My mom gets disability and she gets it the second Wednesday of the month. I get SSI and it comes on the first of every month, usually. I swear if I didn't get SSI for being crazy(I get it because I'm bipolar) then being on it would have made me crazy. The loopholes I have had to go thru to get it. And most months I don't get anything because they go by my husbands wages, but he hasnt lived here in months. But since we're still legally married, blah.

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Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking

I personally think that the *loopholes* are set for a reason. I do understand that it does take some work to qualify, but I think that is the way it should be. It took my mother a very long time to qualify, despite that fact that she was confined to a wheelchair, had very limited use of her hands, could not control her bladder...and was losing her eyesight!

Oh I know. I am completely happy I qualified the first time I applied, even though I had to see three drs. I just hate that even though I've been approved I don't get any $ because they go by my husbands income but he hasn't lived here in months. But since we're legally married that's what they go by. It's just frustrating.

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Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking

This situation, as you realize, is exactly how things should have happened. I get disgusted reading and hearing about how "unfair" it is the nursing home or the state "took" the house or how people connive to "save" the house from the look back period. Yet, how fair is it for taxpayers to provide someone's care when that person had the resources? Entitlement at it's best.

While it is sad to lose a family home, no one is entitled to an inheritance. Any assets, house, savings, belongings, etc, should always be utilized for that person's care and well being.

I wanted to say at least you understand how responsible people conduct themselves in life's circumstances. I salute your family.

dl

I feel the same should be true for anyone who wants any kind of government help. Be it food stamps, help with child care, rent or health care. Why should it be free.....while others have to work daily to provide for their own family. I realize that there are times when help is indeed needed, but it should only be temporary, not become a way of life. Sadly, our country is full of way too many people who refuse to take any responsibility for their own lives. It was very difficult to watch my mother drain the savings that my dad had spent most of his life building up before his death. Even with my help, while she was still at home she required 24 hour care, so it didn't take long before her entire savings was gone. Options ran out, and hard decisions had to be made.

I think welfare (all types, food, child care, child credit, free breakfast, reduced lunch, healthcare, utility assistance, etc, etc) should have to be paid back at 1/2 the rate received.

This thought has come to me recently as a way to get people off the dole. It would still help those who really have a temporary need, yet not sustain the leeches. While I know you can't get blood out of a turnip, perhaps if there was actual responsibility and people knew they had to pay 1/2 back, they'd work harder and faster to be self sufficient.

dl

I think that is a great idea, and I also feel that there should be a way of paying it back, although I can never imagine this happening. I also believe in limits, Welfare should not become a lifestyle.

I wonder....

We pay people to clean restrooms in parks... to wash windows at the courthouse... etc.

It might be an 'oversight nightmare', but it's too bad there isn't a way for people to 'work off' their debt to society by doing some work that municipalities have to pay to have done, or that go undone because there isn't funding for them. A certain amount of community service could be required in order to be eligible for benefits at some point in the process.

To wowitsdark loved your last post, that would be a wonderful idea, there is always some form of work to be done and never enough help to do. I know this is going way off topic, but it really bothers me that these sports players get paid the amount of money they do, when their are men and woman out their busting their butts just to bring up a few hundred dollars and some risk their lives doing so, it is not fair at all. Catherine

I can think of so many areas where volunteers are needed. Instead of handing over money, it would be wonderful to have a requirement of community service. I work at a local high school. We sure could use some hall monitors, or how about bus monitors...not to mention that there are always teachers who could use help with various jobs (photo copying, correcting papers, etc). The lunch room....I am sure they could use help. The janitors work very hard...how about helping them! Now, lets move onto the local nursing homes, they are always looking for volunteers. How about the hosptials, the animal shelters, the homeless shelters, the library, childcare centers. If people were required to actually *pay back*, be it thru cash or volunteer work, I have a feeling that welfare might not be so misused.

There are still abuses. We have a program for low income housing here. REcipients are required to do community service to receive it. The rent is income based. I know someone is being selective about what job he takes. He refuses to work at a fast food place because it is beneath him.
He will volunteer for (I'm not sure but I think that it is 12 hours a month) to get his rent paid and he is walking around with an iphone.
It all boils down to as long as there are loopholes (actively seeking employment or community service) people will abuse the system.

I'm sure that's all true. That's why I said that about it being an oversight nightmare.

I'm sure that the reasons people need assistance vary wildly. Some need it because they hit a rough patch - health issues, downsizing, etc.. They were responsible citizens who fell on hard times and yet still have a family to feed.

Others need assistance because of chronic instability, drug abuse, mental illness, etc.. Their irresponsible behavior - whether it is by choice or a by-product of something they can't control - would make them poor candidates for volunteer jobs in high schools, nursing homes, or anywhere for that matter. Sadly, trying to 'manage' a volunteer program connected with those benefits would probably create a whole new bureaucracy that would cost a fortune to manage.

Typical government.... lol... creating a system designed to *save* money ends up *costing* more to manage than the savings it creates....

Years ago I volunteered at what used to be known as DHS, Dept. of Human Services. They've since changed the name but I can't recall it now. I started as a transporter for a friend who was a foster mom. Then of course, they saw fresh blood and someone willing to help and I ended up being in there once a week for over a year. I loved it! Anyway, volunteering was not required by recipients of snap, SSI, etc...but it was encouraged. I don't believe there was one volunteer that I ran into that was a current recipient. BUT...when it came time for Christmas, or any other special program, people were more than wiling to make that extra trip.

I was in charge of the Christmas gift program (again I cannot remember what it was called). I would call people, inform them of dates etc. and to find out about the children's interest and sizes to see if we could meet a specific need. I would say 8 out of 10 moms spent far more time worrying about what we had for them instead of their children. Sometimes I would have to remind them to tell me about their kids!!

And, when my son reached preschool age, I signed him up for head start. When I did that, I had NO idea that it was a govt. sponsored program. We had been in the military prior to that and my dd had attended preschool on base, so I had never had any knowledge the program even existed. Well, since we had just gotten out of the AF we qualified for the program. I was told that volunteering was required. I thought, well, of course!! There ended up being maybe three of us moms that consistently volunteered and helped on a regular basis. It was shocking to me at the time. (I was still young and innocent lol) My older sister was there more than many of the mothers, the majority of which did not have work as an excuse. Soap operas and sleep maybe....work, not so much.


All that to say a volunteer program, I think, would be very difficult to enforce. It's great idea, and think it SHOULD be in place. But, it was in place for the headstart and it was not enforced because that would hurt the kids....I know I am rambling, but here is my thought on that...

"Don't enforce the volunteer rule because enforcing it would ultimately only hurt the children."

let's just say that is true. But, who is ultimately responsible these children? The parents. So, by not volunteering THEY would hurting their children. Not the people enforcing the rules. I think if we really started holding people responsible and accountable, regardless of the consequences, eventually it would get better. By allowing adults to continue to not be responsible, we are just guaranteeing yet another generation of irresponsible adults!!

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Melissa

Quote:
Originally Posted by ILUVLUCY420
Finally KJ admits the truth, ............

What a silly statement


I swear you have trouble understanding English. I said "What a silly statement" that YOU made and you respond that "it was not silly, it was rude" talking about YOUR comment -- not mine

Thanks for sharing that experience, Melissa. I had no idea there was an expectation of volunteerism with Head Start.

I really struggle with what you said about it hurting the children. I really do. Children tug at our heartstrings and they should not have to suffer because their parents are idiots.

The other thing, though, is when you step back and look at the big picture and mentally zone in on the kids... well, let me back up here. When I look at the kids my own almost-grown kids have had as their peers for 15+ years, it seems the single greatest predictor of the kinds of adults they are turning out to be is their family. Whether they got free lunch or paid for their lunches, by and large the ones doing well are the ones whose family made their education a priority, and who insisted that the kids be responsible from the time they were in kindergarten.

Giving families freebies didn't help mold those *children* from struggling families into responsible *adults*.

We say we are helping the children by offering them services.... but at the end of their childhood journey, when they finish high school and make decisions about the kinds of adults they will be, my observation is that they were not bolstered, long-term, by assistance if they did not have parental support that included a set of high expectations for them.

So are we really *helping* them? What does *help* look like, and what should it achieve?

I agree with dl: the fact that your family handled this situation with such integrity says a lot about your family values.

Yep. It really, really does!

And I think the example this sets is the very best way to *help* children. They need to see their families taking responsibility in order to grow up and see the need to do it themselves.

Gee, you have given some really insightful ideas of how the system could be improved!

This is what I'm thinking also. It would be so difficult to pay back cash for a lot of people. Many people who are former welfare recipients end up barely making ends meet. But if they had to pay back by performing community service that would make sense. There are plenty of skilled people who could bake, repair vehicles, etc and many unskilled who could clean up, file, learn a new skill, etc.

ETA: I think ALL recipients of any type of aid should be made to take a monthly hair follicle test to determine whether they've taken drugs in the previous month to qualify for benefits.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.