My neice asked me to be her sponser for Confirmation, and I was told by my brother's church that I needed a letter from my church. I went to my church (where I have been going since my baptism) and I was told that they wouldn't give me the letter because I currently living in the wrong jurisdiction (I lived two towns over from where the church is) and that I needed to go to the church in my jurisdiction for the letter. I went over to that church, explained the situation , and also advised that I was in the process of moving,and because the new address is in PA they said I had to go to the church I'd be registering into in PA, which is where the confirmation would be taking place, and that that church could call them and they'd give them any information they'd like. I went over to the new church with my brother yesterday to register and hopefully get this mess straightened out since the confirmation is a few weeks away and the woman wouldn't even let me register to join the church because I am divorced. When we questioned why I couldn't join the church she said because since I am divorced that means I am not a good Catholic When we asked to speak to a priest, he also advised me that in his "good faith" he could not allow a divorced woman to join his congregation (sp?) because that is a mortal sin. (the sarcastic part of me wanted to tell him I just divorced my ex, I didn't kill him or anything ) So is anyone else here a divorced Catholic and did you ever encounter anything like this???

__________________
~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

Yep...it is unfortunate that this continues into the 21st century. When my sister went to get married she was told that the best her church could do would allow her to married in the vestible of the church....out of sight of the altar because her husband- to- be was divorced. She went church shopping and the Methodist church down the street welcomed her and she had a beautiful wedding there.

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Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

E. Roosevelt

To op did you tell them you were divorced, while I am a catholic and am married, I will refer to my mom, who was married once before for 3 years, it was annuled and when she and my dad got married, they could not get married in a catholic church. However my mom and dad both went on to be godparents to many nieces and nephews and they have been married for 50 years now. That sincerely was not nice for the lady to tell you, your not a good catholic. I do not see, why because you are divorced, why it should be a issue to be a godmother, which is a lovely thing. I am a godmother 4 times. I can see the issue of not being able to be married again, once divorced, however I sincerely hope all works out so that you can be the Godmother, kindly keep us updated... Catherine

I'm not Catholic so I don't subscribe to Catholic doctrine, but I guess I don't understand the '21st century' reference. The basic premise of a faith system is that God is sovereign, and the church exists as an earthly body of individuals who have specifically joined together to further God's ideals for mankind (obviously, it is deeper than that when things like heaven and hell are considered... but that's a simplistic explanation).

If there is no indication that God's expectation has changed, what century it is shouldn't matter. Church isn't about letting people do what they want. It's about people doing what God wants.

Again - I'm not Catholic. We don't have officially recognized 'godparents' in my faith. I just think if it is your faith system that it would be helpful to understand why they have this rule, and if it is a universal one with all Catholic churches or not.

I guess the Methodist God is more understanding and his/her "expectations" are different. Hence, the reference to "church shopping". Just because one is born into a faith, does not mean one has to remain there. God wanting different things for different people hardly makes sense in the 21st century.

__________________
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

E. Roosevelt

I both agree and disagree with you.

I am not at all for 'church shopping', but I am all for people doing what the Bible says: Study to show thyself approved unto God; a workman needeth not be ashamed rightly dividing the word of truth. (2 Tim 2:15).

If after serious study of God's word, one comes to the conclusion that the church with which they are affiliated isn't doing what they believe God would have people do, then I would hope that they would be compelled to move to a church family that does what they believe God wants them to do. I don't think 'church shopping' for one that someone *likes* better is a good reason. Changing churches should happen because you have decided the new one fits what *God* wants better.

I know many people stick with the Catholic faith because it's 'what their family does' even though they don't really agree with it. I'll never understand that. My relationship with God is more important to me than my earthly family. Fortunately, my family is pretty much on the same page about God, and that makes our earthly bonds with each other just that much stronger.

My best guess with the Godparent issue is this: I know the Catholic church takes very seriously the precept of marriage being a covenant that is only to be broken under certain circumstances. My understanding is also that a Godparent's key job is to educate and nurture a child in the doctrine of the Catholic faith. It's not like an 'honorary degree'; to the Church, the position carries a very serious responsibility.

My guess is that since the marriage issue is one that is very important in Catholic doctrine, that they want Godparents to walk that walk so they can talk that talk to the children whose spiritual lives they are overseeing.

Denying someone the role of Godparent doesn't, to me, say, "Hey, you are not a nice person!" To me, it simply says that they require Godparents to meet requirements that the OP doesn't meet.

Since I'm not Catholic, the whole "godparent" (do you capitalize it? I don't even know! lol) thing is not something I am really educated about. In my faith system, there are some roles a divorced person would not be allowed to hold. It wouldn't mean that we wouldn't fellowship them or that they weren't 'right with God' or hadn't been forgiven for whatever they might have been guilty of (and I recognize that all divorced people are not 'guilty' of anything - some are, some aren't)... just that they were not eligible for some *positions*.

My children all have one Godparent each who is divorced and one of my kids Godparents isn't even Catholic. He's Luthern. We are Catholic. That was never even brought up when we told the church who we wanted as Godparents. My oldest DS made his confirmation a few yrs ago and his sponsor was divorced at the time. No questions or problems there either. I think you found a church who is making up their own rules. Sorry!!

__________________
Mom to Jake, Zach & Meghan
SJCC STREAKS FOOTBALL!!
CLEVELAND BROWNS FOOTBALL!

My guess is that the opposite is true - that the church you were in didn't observe Catholic doctrine to the letter of the law.

This is what I found:

While I was born and raised a Catholic, had my baptism, communion, and confirmation and then married, I do not as a Catholic follow the rules , rule by rule, that is why I am personally not for reformed religion. Some may argue then I am not a Catholic, which is okay, that is your preference, I just cannot live my life that way. I totally believe in God, I do believe that he sent his son Jesus to be born to the virgin Mary. I also believe that Jesus died on the cross and rose from the dead 3 days later to be seated at the right hand of the father, which later make his death a reason so that our sins may be forgiven. I believe in all that, however there are some rules that the Catholic religion does not believe in, and I do. However back to op I can somewhat understand why they would think that if your divorced , you would not be a good enough Catholic to be a godmother, because the reason behind the whole Godparents responsiblities in the Catholic religion is, god forbid your parents die, your godparents would take over and raise you, in good faith accordingly to the bible and all of its Catholic teachings. However I personally do not believe that, just because a person is divorced it does not make them a bad person or a bad catholic, but I can see why, just again do not agree. Again op please keep us posted and hope all works out... Catherine

We are Catholic and my DD's Godfather is Baptist. The priest objected at first and my DH explained that we wanted spiritual Godparents for our children and his friend fit the bill. The priest agreed since DD's Godmother is Catholic. Now, I'm hearing of people who have not made their confirmation cannot be Godparents. My feelings are alot like Catherine's....I'm Catholic and believe in God but not all of the church's teachings.

Selena

__________________
God is not Santa Claus

and yet another reason that I'm not a huge fan of organized religion!

__________________
Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Exactly that is why I do not believe in reformed religion, I believe what I believe and there are some issues I do not agree with, and live my life according to what the issue or subject may be. Catherine

Then why are you still Catholic?

I am not Catholic. That being said, perhaps it is the op's Diocese dictating the local mandate. An annulment is almost always able to be obtained. you have to pay and go to counseling (for lack of a better term on my part). I haven't heard the term jurisdiction, it's always been parish.

I know in NY especially, the Diocese seems to be much more traditional, whereas further south and in other areas of the country, they are more umm, lenient.

I will, as wow has again so eloquently posted, never understand how one professes to practice their faith and yet do as they please in so many ways against their religion. But I guess that's part of the "go to church on Sunday, poo on everyone else all week" lifestyle.

dl

To wowitsdark after last weekend I decided I will no longer debate an issue I feel very strongly about, I already stated I believe what I believe and choose not to believe in what I feel is wrong. God will and does love me, I have not questioned any of your religious feelings or thoughts and would love to close this out, as I will not answer and debate my personal feelings over and over, kindly may be the same respect and live and let live, thanks. Catherine

I do not understand how any one person can be a particular religion, but not ascribe to all it's tenets.

I can't/won't be part of a religion where I don't believe/support the tenets of that religion 100%.

Thankfully, I don't have to belong to a religion to be a good person, believe in God or have faith!

__________________
Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Since Dl and Marilyn once again decided to come here and post, I will repeat, live and let live, do not judge me, you do not know me, only from here at the cafe, and I will not repeat this weekend. End and if you wish to continue go ahead, it does not effect me, I am Catholic to some beliefs and not to others and again God loves me the same. End of story. Catherine

I was not asking to debate you.

I just asked why you remain a Catholic if you do not believe in their core commands.

Again, it's not all about you. Neither of us quoted any of your posts or brought up your name, YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF AGAIN.

For crying out loud, it's a public forum, we can decide to post and you cannot tell us what to do. I can see it wouldn't effect you because maybe it would affect you. No wonder you are so good with your 5 years olds, you are one of them - proven again by no one else but you.

dl

I have a very good friend who also went "church shopping" for her wedding. She did it under the (at the time) well meant idea of wanting to find a church they could attend after marriage and eventually join. I suspected teven though she believed it at the time, she/they woudln't continue going. I said nothing.

As time went on and she "shopped" it became apparent she really wanted a beautiful church for her wedding and I don't think she even fully realized her own motives. She based it on appearance and amenities. I said nothing.

She was married at a non-denominational historic church. I said nothing.

That was about 9 years ago and they never continued with any church. I say nothing.

dl

because I don't understand you, I'm judging you?
because I don't agree with you, I'm judging you?

OMG!

I don't come here just to post in response to you....it ain't all about you toots!

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

You said OMG! As in "oh my God".......with all due respect Marilyn, it's not your God, obviously it's her God - at her convenience, when it suits her, when it's to her advantage.

dl

I stand corrected

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

To OP, I don't think anyone should have ever stated that you could not be the godparent because you were "not a good Catholic."

Is it possible that they actually said that you were "not in good standing as a Catholic?"

I bring this up because the way you convey it, it was probably very hurtful, as it sounds like such a judgement. However, if it was explained that a divorced person is considered not to be in good standing, it would have been more accurate, and less personally attacking.

However, any Catholic who has received an annulment (along with their divorce) is considered to be in good standing.

The question about whether a person is a "good Catholic" isn't one for anyone else to determine. That is unfair if that was conveyed that way.

Regarding the choice some people make to consider themselves Catholic even if they are not practicing Catholics, that is always interesting to me. However, I've come to look at it as more of a life-long identity thing that they choose to maintain. They identify with that faith best and they don't feel drawn to any other faith more than this one, even if they don't actually practice their religion.

For example, from what I understand of the Jewish faith, and I'm sure to be corrected if I'm wrong, the vast majority of Jews aren't practicing Jews at all. But they feel very Jewish, and it isn't even necessarily a very religious connection - more of a vague identity that they feel is non-negotiable, in a way. It could almost be compared to how a person connects with their nationality.

These are just my theories. I hope I didn't offend anyone. Religion can be such a touchy subject, and it seems that many people within any particular religious affiliation are often not even knowledgeable about the beliefs and teachings of that religion.

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"The errors of faith are better than the best thoughts of unbelief." - Thomas Russell

I understand your analogy with Jews. That's a little different in that being Jewish is both a faith and an ethnic heritage.

I do agree - it is always surprising to me how little people know about their own faith affiliation. To me, it's too important an issue not to take it seriously.

TO Devinsmom loved your post thanks for posting what you did. My dearest friend is Jewish and she knows more Jewish people then I do and from speaking to her many times, she has told me there are more religious Jewish people then others, and like she while my friend Stacey is of the Jewish faith, she does not attend services every saturday and only on special occassions, does she prepare a Sabbath dinner on Friday night. So just like me she does not follow her religion to the strict guidelines and she is absolutely fine and happy as I am doing what I do with me being a Catholic again thanks Devinsmom so much.. Catherine

I was baptised and raised catholic. I attended catholic school. I married catholic and was abused, beaten, starved and homeless with a sick infant. I went home with my parents and was divorced 43 years ago. I had married in a civil ceremony at the court house and later married in the church(to the same man), 9 days later the marriage was over and the priest was in a mental institution with a breakdown.
I went to the church to get an annulment and was told bring me 500 dollars or you can never be a catholic or do anything catholic again or enter a catholic church.I didn't have 5 cents at the time and I would never have paid anything again to a church that showed me no compassion. They fully knew the circumstances under which I was living. I had nothing but myself and a new baby and the big beautiful world.
My God and I are still happily together very happily and I have never been back to that church.

I agree, Marilyn. Since when are we "allowed" to pick and choose what tenets of a religion we "like"?

I was born and raised a Catholic and got married the first time in a Catholic church ----- at the age of 18 to get out of an abusive home

When I got divorced a year later, I was told that I could no longer receive the sacraments of the Catholic church. That is when I began questioning my Catholic beliefs.

I soon found and fell in love with a non-denominational church (Assembly of God) in which I could accept all the tenets. 45 years later, it is still my church

I get so confused by the relegion thing. My dh is Catholic, and I am Methodist. Both my daughters attend church on a regular basis. My oldest daughter, who is 25, married into a Baptist family, and they often attend their church together. My youngest daughter opted to become part of the Church of Christ, which is the most laid back church I have ever attended. The pastor is Gay, they accept everyone and do not beleive you must be in attendance every Sunday, or give a certain percent of your wage to them. They provide a safe place for the teenagers to have fun, one Friday a month. I am very impressed with the manner that this church presents itself. I feel that the moment you walk thru the doors, they do not care what color you are, how much money you make...or who you are in love with. Of course, my dh and I only attend four or five times a year, but my daughter goes almost every Sunday.

Although I'm Catholic, I'm not an expert...however, I did go through this.

Assuming you were married in the Catholic faith, you can get divorced and still be in "good standing" with the Catholic church. It becomes a problem when you get remarried without an annulment from the Church. Because you are divorced has no impact in your standings w/ the Church. In short, it's not the divorce that is the problem, it's getting remarried.

On the other hand, if you were married outside the Church and are divorced it actually should have a better impact on your status in the Church. If you were married outside the Catholic Church the marriage was never recognized in the first place so the divorce would not be recognized either. In the eyes of the Catholic Church it's as if you were never married and committing adultery.

To get an annulment is hard work and you may be asked to help the parish pay for the paperwork, but there should be no "charge" to get an annulment.

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Mary

A friend of my husbands mother got an annulement after being married for over 40 years, and having four children. To me that would make the entire marriage null and void, so where does that leave the children born into that marriage? She recently remarried in the Catholic church.

The Marriage is null and void in the eyes of the Church...but legally the marriage was valid and the annulment in the Church has no impact on the children. No, they are not bastards, born out of wedlock...legally or morally.

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Mary

I think it is probably actually a "United Church of Christ".

To me it's the same as being a patriotic American but not agreeing with the government on every single issue.

I consider myself Catholic I was raised that way and that is where I feel the most comfortable spiritually. However I don't agree with the Church on all issues. That doesn't make me less of a Catholic just as disagreeing with the government doesn't make me less of an American. God gave us free will to come to our own conclusions. And just as there as been lying and deceit in the forming of our government in the last several hundred years I also feel that most organized religions my own included also used lying and deceit in years past to manipulate people.

It's just as understandable to be a member of a religion that you don't agree 100% with as it's understandable to love a parent, relative or friend who is racist, or drug addicted, or has other beliefs/lifestyle choices that you don't agree with.

__________________
The political system is broke and it's a joke.

To Annadrose very well spoke thanks so much exactly what I mean and believe, thanks for putting it into words. Catherine

That is what I want to know, as well, from anyone who shares this same opinion as anyone who claims a certain religion yet does not agree with it's principals. To me, it is like saying you are a Democrat, but, don't agree with gay marriage, abortion, or several other things the Democrats stand for.

I have a friend who was raised Catholic, baptised, married in the Catholic Church, the whole nine. She struggled her whole life with the beliefs of the religion. She has since changed her religion.

Another ??? I have about the Catholic religion, in particular, and I think I have addressed this here before, but, here goes again....LOL. A relative who is Catholic, said they don't believe in Confession. Never have never will. Not sure if she was just referring to herself, or her religion. I was of the belief that the Catholic religion is big on confession, so this really confused me.

__________________
Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

The only disagreement I have with your analogy is that neither the government nor the people in your life expect or even demand that you accept all aspects of their being. The Church does expect that you accept everything they put out.

__________________
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

E. Roosevelt

I am sure they all will be glad to hear that!!! <grin>

That's my source of confusion, suezz.

Many different 'faith families' within Christianity ... well, for instance, someone mentioned the Church of Christ above. I think they got the name a bit wrong and that it was the "United Church of Christ", but basically, that church - which is the one the Obama's happened to attend in Chicago - is kind of loosey-goosey when it comes to doctrine. They don't seem to draw many hard lines about issues and have pretty open policies about everything. I don't think they interpret much of the Bible literally.

Catholicism, from my understanding, is very, very different. They maintain - unless I am incorrect here - that there is apostolic succession and that the Pope is in that line and gets his information about the 'rules' directly from God. That is the very basis of everything the church stands for. God made everything, God tells the Pope what he wants, and the Pope speaks on God's behalf and Catholics are to obey it.

If you don't believe that the Pope is saying what God says... well, either you are saying that you don't care what God says (in which case, why bother with religion?) or you don't think the Pope is accurately conveying what God wants (and that is the most core issue within Catholicism - that the Pope is the earthly mouthpiece of the very word of God).

I'm not Catholic, so I don't believe any of it. I belong to a non-denominational church and we believe that we have a responsibility to study the Bible personally, and that on matters of opinion to be convicted and be able to back up our stance. We're to be willing to bend when we recognize that there are going to be legitimately held differences of opinion, but also not bend when something is directly addressed in the Bible. An example of an opinion would be what women wear to worship (there are references to not wearing gold and jewels to worship because it's not supposed to be an opportunity to show off your wealthy position... and some see the 'gold and jewels' thing as being something related to that culture since today most women have gold and jewels and they aren't necessarily a display of wealth)... and an example of something that isn't just an opinion is that the Bible specifically forbids fornication and adultery.

If I didn't believe that we as individuals had a responsibility to read the Bible and figure out what I believed and live it, I would have to find a different faith family.

That's why the "I'm Catholic but I don't follow it all" thing confuses me. At the very core, that is what Catholicism expects and demands. It is not a religion that holds that people get a *choice* to decide what they believe.

There is no religion that I agree completely with so should people like me just wander with no spiritual community? I find it comforting to worship with like minded people and this is the religion that espouses the beliefs that I feel most connected to.

I have been taught that God is all forgiving and that He loves us and sees in our hearts so I don't think He's going to condemn me to Hell or reject me in any way because I choose to align myself with Catholicism. On the contrary I believe he understands and accepts me and everyone else no matter what our beliefs about religion are.

__________________
The political system is broke and it's a joke.

[quote=annadrose;3461001

I have been taught that God is all forgiving and that He loves us and sees in our hearts so I don't think He's going to condemn me to Hell or reject me in any way because I choose to align myself with Catholicism. On the contrary I believe he understands and accepts me and everyone else no matter what our beliefs about religion are.[/QUOTE]

Of course not... It is the Church that I am not sure is so open and forgiving. Are they aware that you feel that way and do not accept some of the "laws"??

__________________
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

E. Roosevelt

I have talked to Priests throughout the years about my thoughts, doubts, opinions, etc. Nobody ever told me I couldn't be a Catholic if I didn't agree 100% with the Church.

__________________
The political system is broke and it's a joke.

Of course they aren't going to tell you that you can't be Catholic...Just like my mom and dad wouldn't tell anyone that they couldn't belong to the religion that my mom and dad are both ministers in. However, just because you CAN be a member doesn't mean you should.

I could be a Taoist, but I probably shouldn't be. I could be Jehovah's Witness, but I probably shouldn't be. I simply don't agree with the things that some religions hold dear, and I'm not willing to sacrifice my personal beliefs for the beliefs of a religion. Nor am I willing to ascribe to a religion without fully embracing every belief that religion holds dear.

You said it yourself--you are Catholic because that's what you know, that's what is comfortable for you.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Thank you everyone for your responses. After reading what Wowitsdark posted that she found, it was clearer to me as to why they wouldn't allow me to be her sponser, and if they would have said it that way, it would have made more sense to me. Devinmom, they both said "you aren't a good Catholic" they were both elderly so maybe they meant in good standing, but that was not how it came out. Catherine, when we were talking to them I was truthful and told them I was divorced, that is how it came out.

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

OMG, this is almost the same thing that happened to me. Dh is catholic and I am lutheran....and divorced. The catholic chuch told us we couldn't get married in their church because I was divorced unless we wanted to 'grease a few palms' (like to the tune of $500 or so...). Seriously??? NO thanks! We got married for nothing at my church.

__________________

Friends are like butt cheeks.
Crap might separate them,
But they always come back together.

You can be a divorced Catholic and be a full member of the Catholic Church as long as you are not living with a man or re-married without an anullment. I went through the anullment process myself so I am very familiar with all the rules and understand what makes a marriage valid in the eyes of the church, etc...

Annadrose, I completely agree with everything as you've explained it.

I think people should remember to separate what "the church" says with what "the pastor" says.

The teachings of Catholicism are pretty clear. There is not a lot of wiggle room.

Some clergy members obviously choose to take the liberty of interpreting things for worshippers, as in the case of OP. I would venture to theorize that this probably happens often in other religions, as well.

As I said, nobody had the right - clergy member or otherwise - to tell you that you "aren't a good Catholic." In fact, that goes against the Catholic teaching that God will be the ultimate judge, not people.

OP, sounds to me like an over-zealous person made a judgemental, unfair statement.

I have been a practicing Catholic all my life. I do know that my faith is not perfect (nor are any others), because it is PEOPLE who interpret our faith, and clergy members are people. Most are good people. My priest doesn't turn away anyone. He has often said "Let the one among us who has not sinned be the one to cast the first stone." (reference to famous bible story, and reminder that we are all sinners, and that none of us should sit in judgement).

Sometimes people have difficulty knowing how to distinguish between actual Catholic church's stands on an issue, and "interpretations" of various people as well as clergy. On this thread alone, it's clear that there are numerous "interpretations" of where the Catholic church stands on some basic issues!

I would never base my understanding of my church's teachings on what other people tell me have been their experiences/feelings/opinions. As Wow has touched on, it's important to educate yourself.

For me, I have a strong faith that helps guide my decisions. I'm lucky to have my faith, and I hope everyone else finds the same comfort and peace in theirs.

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"The errors of faith are better than the best thoughts of unbelief." - Thomas Russell

Hey, I've been following this post since it was first started and trying to "keep up" with it all. I don't have any experience with it but wanted to ask if you could educate me... if it's not too personal, what exactly is an annulment process??

I get the whole part about not judging the DOCTRINE at large based solely on one or two individual clergy members or congregations that start to shift into their own independent interpretations of shades of gray....

Thanks,
X

__________________

Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

What a decree of Nullity Is. An annulment, properly called a Decree of Nullity, is a finding by a Church tribunal that ON THE DAY VOWS WERE EXCHANGED at least some essential element for a valid marriage was lacking, such as, one of the parties did not intend lifelong fidelity to the other person or excluded children entirely. Another example would be that one of the parties was incapable of marriage (due to some constitutional weakness, such as mental illness or some psychological condition that prevented making the marital commitment - gross immaturity, homosexuality, etc.).

None of these conditions are assumed they must be proven. A Decree of Nullity does NOT dissolve the marriage, it cannot. It is a reasoned judgement that one never existed, and as such is capable of human error. If the tribunal is fastidious to Church law and theology and the couple and their witnesses are honest, the decision can be followed in good-faith, including a new marriage. If someone is ABUSING the process through deceit, however, it would be a very grave sin for that person. A person who innocently enters a second marriage would not be guilty of sin, but the person who abused the process to fraudulently obtain a decree in order to remarry would commit adultery by remarrying.

An "annulment" does NOT concern whether the marriage was a happy one, whether one of the spouses LATER became unfaithful, or LATER decided not to have children, but only their INTENTION on the wedding day. If a marriage was made THAT day it is a life-long bond, irrespective of what happened later in the marriage. To "annul" a marriage based on "failure to achieve communion" or some other factor not recognized by the Holy See (as has been done) is not a decree of nullity at all but a divorce. Such decisions are a source of grave scandal in the Church and are both canonically and morally invalid.

I copied and pasted for you! I hope this helps.

Thanks for the explanation. I kinda get it. I think.

I'm glad I'm a forgiven sinner (period) and understand enough about the Bible to know I don't need anyone's (mortal person's) approval to worship God.

Isaiah 43:25
"I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more."

Hebrews 8:12 NIV
"For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more."


X

__________________

Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

I think that could be contributing to the problem. OP has posted about living with her Boy Friend, so maybe that is why???

__________________
Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

Ah ha, I missed that. That would be a very big problem, unless they are living as brother and sister!