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The Cafe - 'TC' So? Your daughter wants her belly pierced? Your cat keeps using the couch as a litter box? Your husband taped the Hockey game over your wedding video? Your neighbor has a gnome collection and it makes you mad? Pour yourself a cup of coffee and come on in to The Café! Talk amongst yourselves...discuss, question, reply, or respond to many subjects!

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Old 07-19-2011, 02:22 PM
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I don't get it...

I haven't been around the last few days, so i missed all the alleged bashing, which I know goes on. BUT, I wandered in here today and read a few interesting posts, totally unaware that they MAY have been directed at someone. And, I was going to join the discussion, but they were locked.

I don't get it, I really don't. I would have never known if immediate attention had not been brought to it, and I can't even see that the allegations are necessarily true. So, my question is, why is it, because some people cannot handle themselves, does the rest of the group need to be punished?? I don't really even care that much, it just does not make any sense to me.

I have been on the receiving end before. You move on and let it go. It takes two to have a debate or to keep an argument going. Noone is innocent all the time.

So, I suppose this will get locked and /or deleted, and that's fine....just wanted to vent a bit. Thanks
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Old 07-19-2011, 02:40 PM
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I don't get it, either. Well, "someone" cries to the moderators for help and keeps crying that they are being picked one, etc. I go to other forums, where there are no mods. you are on your own, an adult and no one is there to "save you" from yourself. I love facebook, because everyone can say whatever they want, and there is no crying to mods.
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Old 07-19-2011, 02:46 PM
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I only frequent this board and FB....it's just so silly.
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Old 07-19-2011, 02:50 PM
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Originally Posted by momrajum View Post
I only frequent this board and FB....it's just so silly.
Me, too. I have visited some others, though, and no one rescues adults on the ones I have stopped by. I really don't come here often. My facebook page is up all day and every time I pass the computer, I check it. I agree with the silly here....almost sad, actually.
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Old 07-19-2011, 03:00 PM
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I thought we were all adults here. *sigh* I guess not.

It's an anonymous internet chat board, if a person cares so much what complete strangers thinks or says about them, then perhaps that person may have some issues.

speaking of Facebook, this was one of my friend's status;

"Never allow yourself to be defined by someone else's opinion of you.."

However, if EVERYBODY'S opinion is the same, you might want to reflect on how you behave/act, post, etc.
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Old 07-19-2011, 03:26 PM
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That's a great quote Marilyn. I struggle with that myself. I was the youngest of four children and my youngest sister is 9 years older than I. I was spoiled and nothing was expected of me, but I was adored. For nothing. As a result of that, people's opinions of me carried great weight. I was in my 30's before I realized that and started changing my perception of myself to reality. I still struggle, but am realistic and always catch myself before I really let someone's negative opinion of me get to me. Hope that made sense. Maturity is what it's called I believe.
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Old 07-19-2011, 03:36 PM
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I thought it was pretty insightful myself, Melissa!
I struggle with the same thing--worrying what people think.
However, I also found that when everyone has the same opinion of me, it may be a character flaw that I need to work on!
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Old 07-19-2011, 03:47 PM
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People were getting out of control. This type of behavior is not normally tolerated at forum and usually these offenders are banned from posting. There were about half a dozen people that didn't get banned and were just warned. I'm not sure why they were not banned, rules do exist for a reason. Not a whole lot of maturity was being used and some people were acting like juvenile bullies in junior highschool. I think the moderators were being quite kind in not banning anyone. I really don't know if these individuals would really care if they were banned or not...but they should consider themselves as lucky they weren't if they care at all. My 2 cents!
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Old 07-19-2011, 04:19 PM
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The only person that did anything "ban worthy" was the one that was crying for help all over and making up things. I have never seen this type of babysitting and any other forum. Of course, I have never seen a grown up that needed protecting from words on a forum, either.
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Old 07-19-2011, 04:22 PM
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Originally Posted by groovygirl View Post
The only person that did anything "ban worthy" was the one that was crying for help all over and making up things. I have never seen this type of babysitting and any other forum. Of course, I have never seen a grown up that needed protecting from words on a forum, either.
Bashing others is always a ban worthy offense at any forum I've ever posted at.
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Old 07-19-2011, 04:26 PM
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I am struggling with this on a personal level with someone very dear to me. I am extremely concerned about his future if he can't figure out that not everyone can be wrong....makes my heart hurt.
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Old 07-19-2011, 04:27 PM
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But couponsrock......if you don't give them something to bash....they won't bash. No bait, no bite.
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Old 07-19-2011, 04:28 PM
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People were getting out of control. This type of behavior is not normally tolerated at forum and usually these offenders are banned from posting. There were about half a dozen people that didn't get banned and were just warned.
Interesting. How do you know a) that warnings were given and b) how many received them?
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Old 07-19-2011, 04:30 PM
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I am pasting below what I usually see when I skim a forum...it basically says, your are an adult and might hear something you do not like....deal with it.

All forums are unmoderated. Users can register with the site, post to a forum, and the post is visible immediately. Unfortunately, this means a site user could post something you may find obsene, profane, inappropriate or offensive to you in some way. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

We decided to make the forums unmoderated to prevent delays (waiting approval from a moderator) in activating your posts. If you find a post objectionable, please send an email to: reed@sprungservices.com.

We will take care of the issue promptly. By using these forums, you agree to hold Sprung Services, Inc. harmless for any legal recourse related to objectionable content posted in any forum.

Thank you,
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"When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream."

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Old 07-19-2011, 04:30 PM
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' You can't control what other people do, how they act or what they say, but you can control how you let it affect you and how you react to it!! '

just seen on a FB post on my wall.....lol. NO connection to any of this. It's something many of us struggle with.
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Old 07-19-2011, 04:33 PM
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Interesting. How do you know a) that warnings were given and b) how many received them?
The warning was posted by the moderator as a post...didn't you read it? I have no idea how many received them...did I say I knew how many? Apparently no one, it was just announced on the open board for everyone to see and to stop it! I read the violating threads and it appeared to me about a half of a dozen people(probably more) were the ones taking shots at one member.
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Old 07-19-2011, 04:40 PM
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There were about half a dozen people that didn't get banned and were just warned.

That is what you said..

There was no warning from the moderators to any number of posters....except for a general statement that threads would be locked.

The half dozen was your number and again that half dozen (or any number) did not get warned.
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Old 07-19-2011, 04:42 PM
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I didn't see any warning to anyone about being banned, either. I did see more than one reminder to a certain someone.
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Old 07-19-2011, 04:42 PM
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The thing is, like I said, I didn't see the offending posts and would have never known if it were just left alone. You don't like it? Ignore it. To me they seemed innocent. I KNOW they may not have been. If you don't like posters whom you consider trolls.....don't feed them....anything. ugh. It seems so simple.
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Old 07-19-2011, 04:44 PM
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Originally Posted by momrajum View Post
The thing is, like I said, I didn't see the offending posts and would have never known if it were just left alone. You don't like it? Ignore it. To me they seemed innocent. I KNOW they may not have been. If you don't like posters whom you consider trolls.....don't feed them....anything. ugh. It seems so simple.
To a grown up, it is simple.
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Old 07-19-2011, 04:46 PM
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Originally Posted by suezz View Post
That is what you said..

There was no warning from the moderators to any number of posters....except for a general statement that threads would be locked.

The half dozen was your number and again that half dozen (or any number) did not get warned.
OK for the last time...the warning is posted here for every member to read! To stop the personal attacks or whatever it said! I did not say that half dozen people were warned(on a personal message). I said that about a half dozen people were the offenders! From my reading those offending posts, there are about a half dozen...probably more people that didn't get banned that in my opinion needed to be banned. I didn't say that half dozen people were warned. By warned, I mean the moderators post. That's the warning I am talking about. I have no idea if someone got personally warned but I'd assume no since the moderator said they were just posting a warning here in the open forum. Sheesh, some people like to twist words around to make their point.
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Old 07-19-2011, 04:47 PM
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I didn't see any warning to anyone about being banned, either. I did see more than one reminder to a certain someone.
http://www.mycoupons.com/boards/cafe...oderators.html

Here's a link to the warning post!
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Old 07-19-2011, 04:48 PM
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Half of a dozen offenders?? Really? Wow....
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Old 07-19-2011, 04:48 PM
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Saw the post, but no warning of being banned, pnly closing threads when "someone" cried about them.
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Old 07-19-2011, 04:49 PM
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Half of a dozen offenders?? Really? Wow....
At least half dozen people were bashing a certain member. Probably more!
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Old 07-19-2011, 04:50 PM
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I haven't been on here much lately, but I would like to point out something I noticed. I did go back and read some of the posts and see that not much has changed. But, one thing I did notice was that ILOVELUCY's posts were much clearer. I have seen numerous posts in the past about run-on sentences and poor punctuation and, quite frankly, would typically skip over the majority of them. I don't know if this will mean much, but the posts were noticeably different - even in a time of stress. I just wanted to point that out as it was an obvious change to me. Thanks for taking the time, ILL. Sometimes I agree with you and sometimes I don't, but I appreciate having the opportunity to understand your point of view.

I'm sure someone will take offense at my post. Bash away...
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Old 07-19-2011, 04:51 PM
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Saw the post, but no warning of being banned, pnly closing threads when "someone" cried about them.
She said that rather than sending personal warning (which is the first steps before someone being banned) she is just deleting the posts.
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Old 07-19-2011, 04:54 PM
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Right.....so no one was warned about being banned at all. That post was mostly for the person t hat was raising so much fuss and hogging the forum with it.
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Old 07-19-2011, 05:05 PM
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I don't think that warning was aimed at any one person.

I think it was aimed at one person *and* those who were trying really hard to incite... well, what usually gets incited.

Coupons, I, too, thought you were implying that about six people received private warnings about their behavior. You may not have intended it that way, but that's how it read.
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Old 07-19-2011, 05:20 PM
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OK for the last time...the warning is posted here for every member to read! To stop the personal attacks or whatever it said! I did not say that half dozen people were warned(on a personal message). I said that about a half dozen people were the offenders! From my reading those offending posts, there are about a half dozen...probably more people that didn't get banned that in my opinion needed to be banned. I didn't say that half dozen people were warned. By warned, I mean the moderators post. That's the warning I am talking about. I have no idea if someone got personally warned but I'd assume no since the moderator said they were just posting a warning here in the open forum. Sheesh, some people like to twist words around to make their point.

I couldn't have twisted your words around when I quoted you directly.
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Old 07-19-2011, 05:33 PM
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I don't think that warning was aimed at any one person.

I think it was aimed at one person *and* those who were trying really hard to incite... well, what usually gets incited.

Coupons, I, too, thought you were implying that about six people received private warnings about their behavior. You may not have intended it that way, but that's how it read.
You didn't read it how I wrote it, you read it how you wanted to hear it. You totally misunderstood what I said!

Apparently that warning post by the moderator completely went over the heads of those offenders and they think the warning post was meant for the person that was the victim of the personal bashing.
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Old 07-19-2011, 05:35 PM
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That girl is no victim, but she sure tries her hardest to make herself one!
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Old 07-19-2011, 05:40 PM
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For crying out loud I said:
"There were about half a dozen people that didn't get banned and were just warned."

OK for the first part which i stated "there were about a half dozen people that didn't get banned". Let me try and explain what that part means for the people that don't understand English. I said that because I was reading all of your posts that were bashing ILL! There were about a half dozen involved in the bashing posts...probably more but I just pulled that number out of my A&&! I said they didn't get banned because they didn't get banned and in my opinion, if I were the moderator, I would have banned all half dozen of them! I did not once say they were given formal warning by the moderator....NOW for the second half of that quote:
"were just warned" What I meant by "were just warned" was they were only warned in that simple little post the moderator put out there for everyone to read. It was not intended for the people that did nothing...it was intended for the people that were involved in that bashing of ILL!

OK that's enough of twisting up my words and if you can't figure out what I'm saying them I give up!
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Old 07-19-2011, 05:50 PM
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To GG do you realize how many times you posted in this thread, I clearly know your speaking of me, why can you simply say my name why hide. To all other posters I am dearly sorry, yet again another post about me, wish it would all go away. No peace here.....Catherine
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Old 07-19-2011, 05:53 PM
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Originally Posted by ILUVLUCY420 View Post
To GG do you realize how many times you posted in this thread, I clearly know your speaking of me, why can you simply say my name why hide. To all other posters I am dearly sorry, yet again another post about me, wish it would all go away. No peace here.....Catherine
Did not count, but probably about as many as I wanted to. lol
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Old 07-19-2011, 05:58 PM
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So you clearly admit it is fun, your having fun bashing someone...kindly please go somewhere else and bring your negative comments with you. I will end here, lets see how many more times you continue.. shame and truly sad. Peace to my friends. Catherine
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Old 07-19-2011, 06:00 PM
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Originally Posted by ILUVLUCY420 View Post
So you clearly admit it is fun, your having fun bashing someone...kindly please go somewhere else and bring your negative comments with you. I will end here, lets see how many more times you continue.. shame and truly sad. Peace to my friends. Catherine
Where did I say that? You are really sick, girl. I was here answering others and never bashed anyone. Wow....so scary that you ASSIST with young children. Oh, maybe you can go somewhere else, since you are so bothered.
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