Woman convicted of child abuse in hot sauce case - Boston.com

Have you seen this? What do you think????

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Kim

First of all....what a horrible way to punish a child. Secondly it is absolutely reprehensible to do it as a ploy to make on television.

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Melissa

in reading several articles on this case, I read what "punishments" and unconventional methods these parents were using; however I have never read of any sort of medical treatment or psych treatment that this child received.
Also, how can the child protective services NOT take these children away, when the parents have been found guilty of abuse?

One more thing: I think the mother has some serious attention seeking behaviour issues. Part of the punishment should be mandatory counseling, psych testing (preferably inpatient) and parenting classes. Oh yeah, the mother should have to pay restitution to an account set up for the child (the court should appoint a guardian ad litem)

I had my mouth washed out w/ Ivory soap when I got a little lippy with my grandmother, but it wasn't excessive and she gave me water and a hug afterward.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Omg how terribly sad for this child, or any child that receives this as a form of punishment. I was always againist this and also using any soap in the mouth, however then again, I am againist any form of hitting, or spanking. Never once did I nor my husband ever put our hands on our children. I personally feel it would only promote more violence. To me putting them in time out, or taking away their television, or cell phones , or car I have done that, will remain with them longer then a hard smack... This poor child could have choked to death, and soap just the thought, cannot even imagine poor child...Peace. Catherine

I saw the video on the Dr. Phil show and it was awful and brought tears to my eyes.

The fact that this little boy was adopted added to my sadness. What must he have been thinking about the world and the people he trusted to love and protect him? He was screamed at for telling a story that omitted something that had happened at school (something to do with getting in trouble with the teacher) and his little voice trembled when he admitted that he didn't tell his mother the whole story......the screams coming from the cold shower while she continued to berate him about his behavior made me want to fly to Alaska and belt her in the ear.

She was cold and seemed to not know what she had done wrong on the show when she and the audiences were shown the video. There were members of the audience who were crying afterward.

Not that I would ever want a family to be broken apart but this was not a family. She was not a mother in my judgemental eyes. A mother knows how to achieve obedience from her young children with love in mind. This woman was cruel to this little boy ON TAPE for a national show! She said she didn't know it was wrong......I will never understand.

I spanked my little ones a few times over the years. But my intentions were to correct a behavior and the punishment fit the crime and having them lick a bar of soap only happened to one of my kids (afterward the other three boys knew that they never wanted to have to lick a bar of soap!) and it only happened once, if I remember correctly. I would never berate my boys while pouring hot sauce on their tongues and then throwing them in a cold shower with all their clothes on and certainly not with a stranger in the room to witness their humiliation.

My judgement......this woman is insane!

JMHO.

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GO NAVY WRESTLING!!BEAT ARMY!!!
RJB 3/18/60 - 5/22/04
We miss you, sweet brother
God Bless the USA!!!!! Praying for my Youngster son at United States Naval Academy, class of 2014!!

http://mylifeundertheabaya.blogspot.com/

ITA, USNA. Completely.

I have vague recollections of soap in my mouth for calling my brother stupid or some such thing, but hot sauce seems over the top to me.

One thing I am curious about...

I sometimes hear people saying they never spanked because they believe it teaches violence.

The reality is that I do not believe that there is any evidence to support that belief.

Your point about correction is on the money where spanking is concerned, IMHO. We spanked occasionally - not often, and not excessively, but purposefully and appropriately.

From my observation, violence is something that is rooted in a lack of control and the presence of anger. It's about 'going off on somebody'.

Sure, someone could spank out of those motives, but it's the motive that is at the heart of why that act might ever be classified as violence. That motive is what leads to over the top abuse.

A parent who is using spanking in a level-headed manner as a means of correction will NOT create a violent child.

It's NOT the act of spanking that could teach violence. It's ABUSE that teaches violence. And that woman was clearly abusive. I ached for that child.

I totally agree with you usnamon that woman is insane and never ever should have been a mother in the first place. Growing up in the 60's and 70's while things were certaintely easier for the most part, as compared to raising children today, we as kids were never once hit or spanked or never ever. My father who came from a serious abusive childhood at the hands of his mother and step-father clearly knew and realize that was not the way he was going to raise his children. I am thankful each and everyday. Do not get me wrong my dad was definitely strict, he had time limit to when you came home and believe me, 2 minutes late and you knew he was coming to get you and then the next night or a few nights you stood home. And I will say that to me I will remember and so did my brothers. Now for my husband his father never resorted to talking like my parents did, the belt, came right out and honestly they were hit hard and smacked clear across the face. In looking back my husband will always say I rather die first before I would ever strike my children, the way I was. However hot sauce or soap, cold water, hot spalding water, are severe forms of clear child abuse....My heart and soul aches for this child and too all other children who receive these forms of abuse or punishment as they deem it to be...Sick world for sure, some people should never ever be parents.....Peace to all children...Catherine

There is nothing in the world that will convince a child that some things should not be said like having their mouth washed out with Ivory soap. I was not abused, but I sure never said that word again! I never had to wash my childs mouth out, she was not as hard headed as I was. But I sure do not feel that I was abused, that is just plain silly to think that correcting a childs behavior is abuse. A REAL parent doesn't abuse, A lunatic, yes they abuse and children should be removed from those situations. Thinking that any type of behavior modification other than hand patting is child abuse is just plain silly.

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Sam

To sawsadsam I will just simply say I could never ever in a million years put soap in my children's mouth. I will also simply say that what works for one parent and their child, will not always work with everyone. Finally simply it all comes down to what your personally feel is right or wrong when dealing with your own children. I would agree that perhaps a small tap on the backside will work and many parents use this method, for us as parents we just disagree. It does not make you a bad parent or I a very easy going parent. We just all parent differently, I also do not believe a small tap is abuse, I just view it as hitting and was never ever comfortable putting my hands on my children..However thanks so much for your input.....Peace. Catherine

I have four boys and I spanked all but the last one. I did my fair share of yelling but I never had to resort to name calling or striking unnecessary fear into them by berating them or pushing them around.

A swift and firm hand to the nether regions brought my boys up short and made my displeasure at whatever they were doing known. A swat or two on the behind was meant to quickly change a behavior and it worked. I rarely had to spank for the same behavior more than once or twice. After a while, I just had to ask if someone needed to be spanked and whatever was going on magically stopped!

My boys are not violent, we have a good relationship and as I said earlier, I didn't have to spank my youngest. It is possible to raise kids without laying a hand on their behinds but my kids knew that there was always that possibility and I didn't mind using capital punishment.

Everyone can raise their children however they want....spank or not spank. It is what works for you.

I believe that my children needed to know that when I said "no" that I meant "no" and if they continued to act "crayzee" that the hammer was going to fall somewhere and it wasn't going to be pleasant. It worked for me growing up, it worked for my family growing up. BUT, this Alaska mom was not punishing her son for his own good. She was punishing him for her own good. She took her anger out on her precious little boy and if she is allowed to continue, the kind of violence that is thought to be brought by spanking will occur.

A child needs to know boundaries and that in order to have order in a family everyone has to practice self discipline to ward off chaos. I always said that I disciplined my kids, not for my sake (though in some ways it made my life so much easier) but for other people's sake......I never wanted to take my children somewhere and have people say "OMG, here come those boys again! Hide the silverware!"

Back to the topic.....again, this is not a case of discipline in Alaska, this is completely uncalled for and the people who knew about it and did nothing to stop her should be brought up on charges as well. From what I understand, the members of her church saw her abuse this little one and did nothing.....poor little thing.

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GO NAVY WRESTLING!!BEAT ARMY!!!
RJB 3/18/60 - 5/22/04
We miss you, sweet brother
God Bless the USA!!!!! Praying for my Youngster son at United States Naval Academy, class of 2014!!

http://mylifeundertheabaya.blogspot.com/

There has been much written about the difficulties facing families who adopt from Russia. The abuse that is rampant in the orphanages there defies belief. The children, after enduring abuse of all different kinds for many years, are shattered souls and have difficulty adapting to any kind of family.

I certainly am not excusing this woman since she sounds just nuts. There was also the woman who simply sent her adopted son back to Russia with a note that she could not deal with him . That was given a lot of publicity.

People need to be aware that they are often getting very damaged children from Russia in particular and many people may not be up to the challenge.

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Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

E. Roosevelt

Part of the problem is when adopting a child from Russia it is more of a rescue mission and should be treated as such. Adopting parents should be trained and prepared for the possible issues the child will have. The sad truth is, these parents are probably adopting to fulfill their own needs and when they are not met by these damaged children, when their bubble is popped, this is the reaction they have.

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Melissa

I was wondering if this side would be mentioned.... I don't condone this woman's behavior either and I have not been able to find conclusive information on her approach to the boy's behavior problems outside of discipline (counseling, etc.), but what do you do with a child that doesn't respond to standard forms of discipline? I read that they had tried spanking, taking things away, time-out, etc. with no improvement in behavior.

I have to believe that they wanted these boys, but perhaps they just weren't prepared for what they would get? It's not cheap, quick, or easy to adopt, so I struggle to understand this situation. Perhaps it is how she was raised and she grew up thinking that type of discipline was okay?? I don't agree with it, but I also know that some people would say that spanking is abuse. It's definitely something to contemplate.

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Kim

I also saw the video on Dr Phil's show and was brought to tears. I can't imagine how horrifying it was for this boy to be punished this way.
It was definitely child abuse in my opinion and she needs a lot of help. So do the children in the family.
As far as spanking goes, Kim, I'm for it to a certain degree. When a child is young you do your best to explain to them why something is wrong and what steps to take if this situation or feeling comes up again. However when they're too young to understand a spanking (not a beating) shows them that there are unpleasant consequences to inappropriate behavior.

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The political system is broke and it's a joke.