My SO is a wonderful, sweet, caring and generous man.

He let his niece and her best friend stay at his house because they were homeless. The girls are 18/19. They managed to burn all their bridges, used up all their free passes with their families and friends. And the best friend was pregnant when they began staying at the house--she has since given birth (and placed the baby up for adoption, thank God); she already has one child that her parents have custody of.

The friend has a job. The niece won't get a job. Claims she's applying for jobs and just can't find one (I don't believe a thing she says--she's a lying, manipulative little gunch)

OH....and the niece's boyfriend has been "visiting" (it ain't visiting when you stay the night 6 out of 7)

None of them contribute to the household in any way!
Them moving in was SUPPOSE to be temporary. They've been there since MAY!!!!

I know that this is SO's "issue". And I know that when he reaches the saturation point, he'll act. He's entirely too nice. He thinks that if he's support enough they will get their act together. He's a bit of a "Pollyanna" when it comes to stuff like this. That and he doesn't want to see anyone out on the street. And I love him BECAUSE he's a sweet, caring, kind and generous man. But, man oh man--these young people are taking advantage of his nature!!!

(I'm just venting. There really is nothing to do and no advice to give. I have told him--in a kind manner--that he's being taken advantage of, and he agrees. He just doesn't want to put these kids out on the street)

see post from 9/14/11 for update

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

He needs to tell them again "this is only temporary" so they can get their s**t together. Not just a place to crash and get a free ride!

I tell ya, I have no use for a freeloader. I agree, the sweet ones are the ones that get taken advantage of the most. That's my husband for sure! He had a freeloader living with him for 12 freakin' years! I have no use for people like that! Some people are just users always and forever. They go from person to person mooching off of them...

I can only assume he is really nice guy and has a big heart...free loaders are never good for any family. Sincerely hope all works out for you and your bf and family...Peace and blessings.....Catherine

Keep this in mind if you two ever decide to marry. Just think, they could be living with you now, if you had. You can't change him, you shouldn't want to change him, but can you live with a situation like this? I think I might have problems with it.

I would dearly have problems with this issue. Free loaders especially, times are hard enough..As you and your bf get closer and built a closer relationship, out-side free loaders would not be healthy for your wonderful relationship so far....peace and sincerely hope all works out.......Catherine

No, I wouldn't change him for anything in the world. I love him just as he is! I love his kind, caring and giving nature.

I can live with the situation--I don't have to like it though.

The thing is, if we were living together, he wouldn't have the room for freeloaders.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Don't underestimate the urge to help, particularly for those that are family or close to you. They could sleep on the sofa for instance, he could pay for them to live somewhere else, or he could just "help" them financially in smaller amounts. People who are givers, just do stuff like that. And they often don't take into consideration the realities of what they are doing in their rush to help. But he does indeed sound like a keeper, problem relatives and all their baggage aside.

My husband can be like that as well, and it can get, frustrating is a good word, because he doesn't see that helping is sometimes hurting in the long run. Actually when it comes to our kids, and our grandson, we are both, definitely, enablers. We don't have nieces or nephews so I'm not sure how we would handle that situation.

Good luck to you both.

SO finally had enough last week....and told the freeloaders they needed to be OUT.
He had to get a little mean and nasty with them (so very unlike him!)

Imagine this--they were out within 3 days! They figured out somewhere else to live, when they had no choice.

And it's funny, every one assumes that he wanted them out so he could move me and the kids in! Ummmmm.....Nope! Not right now, maybe in the near future, but there isn't any plans for that immediately.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"