Reading today's Dear Abby made me giggle on her response to someone which got me thinking with the group of gals we've got here there could be some unique points of view on this one.
Dear Abby on uExpress

In short it was signed Pregnant with Apprehension and among her concerns were that her fiance's mother was somewhat hurt that she had not been allowed in L & D during the birth of their first child and now she was half way through pregnancy with number 2. She was concerned with the "future in laws" coming to stay after the birth too but the main part I thought I'd ask around here was after Dear Abby called it "not Performance Art":

Mother in Law IN or OUT during delivery for you?

I invited mine in and she was blessed because of it. Birth is a miracle and she had been twi-lighted during my husband's birth some 30 years earlier so I thought she'd like to be there.

Considering how many different Nurses (both male and female), Lab technicians, Anesthesiologists, High Risk Team Members and Physicians roam in and out at any given time during a delivery and they're all strangers, why not have someone that loves you and the event would be meaningful for.

So both Moms, and DH were present right at the last delivery part after they had given DH and me "our" time leading up to that.

She stood over my left shoulder with my mom and never ventured to the ugly business end of things so I didn't have a problem. She cried when she thanked me later.

Anybody else invite theirs in?

X

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Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

ummm.....NO! And did I mention NO!!!!
(I wasn't a big fan of my in-laws from day one, so I was doubly blessed when I divorced! LOL)

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

When I had my 1st (DS), I never made it into the hospital,as I was walking into the er, he decided to bungee jump into my pants leg.

When I had my 2nd (DD) my ex-mother in law invited herself into the room I have a high pain tolorance and sleep through labor, I remember the dr breaking my water, and I fell asleep. The next thing I knew I was being wheeled into the delivery room and she was telling my ex-dh that he did not want to be in there and see it because it wasn't going to be a nice sight before I could open my mouth to argue, my DD was here, her father missed her arrival, but her grandmother was there

With my youngest (DD) my ex-inlaws were divorced and although my father in law and his girlfriend (who was like a MIL to me) were there, they waited outside the door so it was only me, my ex, the drs and nurses.


I had my tubes tied after my DD, so I can't have anymore children but if I were to have one with my boyfriend, there is NOOOO way I'd let anyone in his family, especially his parents near the hospital, me or the baby. I know how his parents raised their children, and how they treat their children and grandchildren, and IMO they shouldn't be able to parent a goldfish, let alone be near children

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

Ok... Ok... I can see where THAT would be Performance Art!

Whoa on that one! was that a full term kiddo or a surprise like we had at 24 weeks and water broke on one of ours?

Marilyn Check and double Check Check on the NO. LOL!

Hearing 2much up there sleepin' though hers there on of them. I guess that beats what happened to me on that last one when it was emergency prep and wheeling me into surgery so blasted quick they forgot to put me to sleep... women who've had a c-section will appreciate this --- You know when the doc pinches your tummy right before he starts the incision and says "can you feel this". Well we still haven't figured out how he missed me answering YES! and then went on to make the cut while I was still "awake" and no epidural... {{shudders}} I have nightmares for people who are awake the whole time they are having surgery... When I squirmed the anesthesiologist looked down at my face and realized I was AWAKE and feeling.. Whoops! He cranked a knob and I was out in 3 seconds but man that hurt!

X

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Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

My "kids" are 38 and 41, so not only did husband not want to be there, I did not want him to be there. He would have fainted and it would have been ugly. That was then, now I suspect he would survive watching a birth without fainting, but he still wouldn't want to. In laws lived far away and there was no way they would have been there either. My mom came right after the first one, but I would not have wanted her in the delivery room either. In fact if I could have done it alone, I would have.

Second birth, inlaws showed up 6 weeks before and "moved" in temporarily, but since this was number 2 they had the job of taking care of number 1 when I went to the hospital. Four weeks later my husband literally kicked them out. They had been there almost 3 months at that point and were beginning to complain that I was not feeding them on their schedule with the correct food, that I was lazy and didn't clean up after myself, telling husband that he should divorce me and they would help raise the children, etc. I didn't even know most of this complaining was going on and I got up one morning and he was escorting them to the door without any prior notice and saying he was driving them to the bus station. He only told me later what had been going on.

I suffered from some postpartum depression and had had a tubal ligation after the birth, which was not done with the nice little cuts they use today. It was major abdominal surgery, with a six or seven inch opening. So I was dealing with the fact that we had moved to CA while I was 7 months pregnant, bought a house, in a heat wave, during a seller's market, with a two year old in tow, moved in to said house, found a new OB, put up with inlaws for a month before the birth, felt lousy after the birth, and they decided to complain to my darling husband about me. Evidently complaining many times. I'm still not sure how such a nice man came from those two. I guess what makes a good parent does not always make a good inlaw.

So a resounding "NO!" to having someone watch my hoo ha push out a baby. I don't want my hoo ha on display at all, for any reason. A baby is a beautiful thing, but giving birth is not. I don't care what anyone else says.

I can tell you a possible way---you were in "fog" and the connection between the brain and the mouth didn't quite click. You KNOW you said YES, but it might not have made it to your lips. I heard my doctors discussing golf while "finishing" up. I didn't feel anything, but surprised the crap out of my doc when I asked him a very specific question about something I heard!

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Oh on the golfin' LOL!Bet he did freak out when you asked! My doc is a really cool Doctor.
On the video after number one you hear me tell him I'm not awarding him first place in this quilting bee so wrap it up and be done with it already and he laughs. LOL!-- He and I have a great relationship and can joke without embarrassment about what all is going on.

(3) and DONE - no more babies here either unless the stork drops one during a fly by.

X

He was full term, just a week early. I had a dr appt at 4 on Sept 24, and at 515am on the 25th I was filling out his birth certificate The funny thing is when I was at the dr's I asked her how would I know when I'm in labor, and she laughed and said "Oh you'll know" So after all the commotion in the door way died down and I was on my way to a room, I said something like "that's it, that's what everyone says is so painful? I could do this again " The best part of his birth (besides getting a beautiful baby boy) was the intern who was working the ER that night. He came over and took charge, and after I was settled into my room he came up and brought a gift for my son and flowers for me because my son was the first baby he "delivered" (if you can call it that lol, he just cut open my pants leg) and every day for the 3 days I was in the hospital he would bring me up a snack at night before his shift started, and after he got off in the morning, he left and got me breakfast at McDonalds.

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~~~~**Maryann**~~~~

I just got a firm grip on reality....
Now I can strangle it

Umm......NO. I would not have considered having my in-laws in there. Well, maybe step MIL, at that time, since she never had a child of her own and I think she would really have appreciated that. I don't have a wonderful relationship with my in-laws either, MK. I tell people I divorced them, but, kept my DH ;-)

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

For my first DD almost 18 years ago , I had my hubs, mom, set of grandparents, mil & fil, dad, and 2 friends in the room. Fil and my grandpa did leave the room about 5 mins prior to actually giving birth
For second DD almost 17 years ago, I had all of the above minus my dad and in step mom
I did joke at one point we should have sold tickets for the events!

Never ever ever no way no how. For me and this is just me being personal, giving birth is a personal private joy that I feel should only been seen and enjoyed by the parents, the only other people I would have let in would have been my own children. I loved my in laws mom passed away 11 years ago, my father in law is still alive. Both my parents are alive, dearly love them all, but never ever. I am truly amazed how just how many people now are in the room of time of delivery, personally not for me. While childbirth is normal and beautiful for me it is a private moment, everyone else can wait a bit longer to see the new baby.....Peace and blessings...Catherine

My brother in law was there for all but the actual birth, but I think if I did it again I'd rather have a friend there, instead of, my husband even. My husband's mother died when he was 16, so I've never met her, but I think birth would stress my step-MIL out, which would be the last thing I'd want to deal with. I think I would have been okay having my husband's best friend's mom there, which sounds sort of crazy, but she feels very much like family to me, and she's a remarkably strong, peaceful person.

NO, I didn't even want to be there!

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Sam

No. I love my MIL, I'm so very grateful to her for giving me what she loves the most in this world (her only child, my DH) and trusting me to help him make a great life. *But*, I think only the people involved in making the baby should be present at the birth. Our families were at the hospital, but not in the room with us.

Selena

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God is not Santa Claus

NO WAY!

Skip the mother in law... let's just invite the whole neighborhood.

This girl really likes to express herself.
New York City Performance Artist To Give Birth In Gallery Before Audience | Fox News

A pregnant New York City performance artist is planing to have her baby in an art gallery in front of an audience.

Wonder if her kid will grow up to be an exhibitionist?

X

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Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

This is exactly what I was going to post!
I really feel that this is an extremely intimate event, and would not have been comfortable with anyone else but DH and necessary medical personnel in that room.

My daughter had a baby about 3 months ago. She was going to let my husband and I and her in-laws in the room until it came to the pushing part and then it was going to be her and her husband.

Things never turn out as you plan. Her in laws went out of state to visit their niece who had picked them up because her father-in-law had had a heart attack a few weeks before. So when our granddaughter decided to come 8 days early, they were stuck in another state.

Needless to say we stayed for the whole thing because my daughter was in labor 39 hours. At first, my husband stay on the sidelines. But during the pushing part they both needed our support so we stayed the whole time.

I had 3 sections so I found it interesting. My husband was not allow in the operating room in those days.